Panic(27)

Bishop dropped Dodge off first. Dodge had promised to watch fireworks on TV with Dayna tonight. He wondered whether he should kiss Nat again—he was stressing about it—but she solved the problem by hugging him, which would have been disappointing except she was pressed up next to him in the car and he could feel her boobs against his chest.

“Thanks a lot, man,” he said to Bishop. Bishop gave him a fist bump. Like they were friends.

Maybe they were.

He watched the car drive off, even after he could no longer make out Nat’s silhouette in the backseat, until the car disappeared beyond a hill and he could hear only the distant, guttural growl of the engine. Still, he stood there on the sidewalk, reluctant to head inside, back to Dayna and his mom and the narrow space of his room, piled with clothes and empty cigarette packs, smelling vaguely like garbage.

He just wanted to be happy for a little longer.

His phone buzzed. An email. His heart picked up. He recognized the sender.

Luke Hanrahan.

The message was short.



Leave us alone. I’ll go to the police.



Dodge read the message several times, enjoying it, reading desperation between the lines. He’d been wondering whether Luke had received his message; apparently he had.

Dodge scrolled down and reread the email he had sent a week earlier.



The bets are in. The game is on.

I’ll make you a trade:

A sister’s legs for a brother’s life.



Standing in the fading sun, Dodge allowed himself to smile.





heather

IT HAD BEEN A GOOD DAY—ONE OF THE BEST OF THE whole summer so far. For once, Heather wouldn’t let herself think about the future, and what would happen in the fall, when Bishop went to college at SUNY Binghamton and Nat headed to Los Angeles to be an actress. Maybe, Heather thought, she could just stay on at Anne’s house, as a kind of helper. Maybe she could even move in. Lily could come too; they could share a room in one of the sheds.

Of course that meant she’d still be stuck in Carp, but at least she’d be out of Fresh Pines Mobile Park.

She liked Anne, and she especially liked the animals. She’d been out to Mansfield Road three times in a week, and she was already looking forward to heading back. She liked the smell of wet straw and old leather and grass that hung over everything; she liked the way the dog Muppet recognized her, and the excited chittering of the chickens.

She decided she liked the tigers, too—from a distance, anyway. She was mesmerized by the way they moved, muscles rippling like the surface of water, and by their eyes, which looked so wise—so bleak, too, as though they had stared into the center of the universe and found it disappointing, a feeling Heather completely understood.

But she was happy to let Anne do the feeding. She couldn’t believe the balls on the woman. It was a good thing Anne was too old for Panic. She would have nailed it. Anne actually went inside the pen, got within three feet of the tigers as they circled her, eyeing the bucket of meat hungrily—although Heather was sure they’d be just as happy to take a chomp of Anne’s head. Anne insisted they wouldn’t harm her, though. “As long as I’m doing the feeding,” she said, “they won’t use me for feed.”

Maybe—just maybe—things would actually be okay.

The only bad part of the day was the fact that Bishop was constantly checking his phone, Heather assumed for texts from Avery. This reminded her that Matt hadn’t texted her once since their breakup. Meanwhile, Bishop had Avery (Heather wouldn’t think of her as a girlfriend), and Nat had Dodge hanging on her every word and was also still seeing a bartender over in Kingston, some sleazy guy who rode a Vespa, which Nat insisted was just as cool as a motorcycle. Right.

But after they dropped off Dodge, Nat asked, “Is Avery coming tonight, Bishop?” and when Bishop said no, almost too quickly, Heather felt at peace with the world.

Nat made them detour so she could get a six-pack; then they headed to 7-Eleven and bought junky Fourth of July food: Doritos and dip, powdered doughnuts, and even a bag of pork cracklings, because it was funny and Bishop had bravely volunteered to eat some.

They headed to the gully: a steep, barren slope of gravel and broken-up concrete that bottomed out in the old train tracks, now red with rust and littered with trash. The sun was just starting to set. They picked their way carefully down the slope and across the tracks, and Bishop scouted the best place to light off the sparklers.

This was tradition. Two years ago, Bishop had even surprised Heather by buying two fifty-pound bags of mixed sand from Home Depot and making a beach. He’d even bought loopy straws and those paper umbrellas to put in their drinks, so she would feel they were somewhere tropical.

Today, Heather wouldn’t have chosen to be anywhere else in the whole world. Not even the Caribbean.

Nat was already on her second beer, and she was getting wobbly. Heather had a beer too, and even though she didn’t usually like to drink, she felt warm and happy. She stumbled over a loose slat in the tracks and Bishop caught her, looped an arm around her waist. She was surprised that he felt so solid, so strong. So warm, too.

“You okay there, Heathbar?” When he smiled, both of his dimples appeared, and Heather had the craziest thought: she wanted to kiss them. She banished the idea quickly. That was why she didn’t drink.