Out of Breath (Breathing, #3)(94)

‘Ice cream?’

‘I can do that.’ He smiled.

I watched him leave. I was trying not to think about the fact that he and I were going to be alone in this house together for the next twenty-four hours until Sara returned. Thinking of it made my entire body rush with panic, despite the rebellious flutter I felt in my chest. I shook away the invasive thought, and decided to distract myself with a book.

I inspected the tall built-in bookcase, jammed with paperbacks and hardcovers of every genre. Then I remembered the book I had in my tote bag, which I hadn’t touched since before I left for Weslyn. It was ridiculous to have thought I would be able to read on the plane en route to Weslyn.

I removed the tote from the cavernous walk-in closet in the master suite and sifted through its eclectic contents. I pulled out the book, and a few envelopes dropped to the floor. I scooped them up.

One was a magazine offer. I tossed that on the bed to be thrown away. The other made my insides twist in on themselves. My formal name was scrolled stiffly across the white paper. The return address read, ‘Boca Raton, Florida’. I dropped the envelope on the bed as if it were on fire. The script wasn’t George’s. I inhaled deeply to keep the nausea at bay. It had to be from my grandmother. I didn’t want to hear her brutal accusations of how I’d ruined the lives of her sons and grandchildren. I refused to let one more person blame me for what wasn’t my fault.

I grabbed my book and left the room, retreating to the large deck, where a blue canvas hammock awaited me. I carefully unwrapped the gauze protecting my feet and eased back on the swaying surface.

It took some time for my heart to calm as I watched the seagulls gliding above the water’s surface. I concentrated on the serenity of the quiet beach and rhythmic waves, attempting to silence the letter that screamed at me from inside the house. Eventually, I opened the book.

When I lifted the splayed pages, something fell out and fluttered to the boards of the deck. I leaned over carefully, fearing I might tip, and reached for it. Rolling back onto the hammock, I twirled the green oak leaf between my fingers and laughed out loud at the flashing image of grabbing it while swinging in Evan’s back yard – the night I was forced to stay there. I hadn’t realized I’d kept it.

The sun shone through as I held it up to admire it. I felt the same warmth capture my heart as I had the day Evan had revealed the swing. He’d wanted to help me remember my father … and to hold on to him at the same time.

Tears washed over my eyes. I hadn’t held on.

‘What did you do?’ I whispered, forcing back the emotion.

Tucking the leaf into the back of the book, I turned to the first page.

‘Emma, I bought –’ I stopped on the deck when I realized she was asleep on the hammock, a book resting on her stomach. I couldn’t look away as the wind gently blew her hair – strands dancing around her face. The sun lit up her face as deep breaths passed through her slightly parted lips.

‘Where do you want everything?’ Nate asked from behind me. I turned towards him and he hesitated, taking us both in.

‘I’ll be right there,’ I told him.

Nate knew what was happening. I’d heard enough about it in the truck when I picked him up after grocery shopping. He’d made it clear he thought moving in with her for the month was a bad idea. He didn’t seem to care that Sara would be here with us … starting tomorrow. And Sara was ten times more protective of Emma than Nate was of me.

When I gently lifted the book to set it on the table next to the hammock, something slipped out of it. I bent over to pick up the pressed oak leaf and smiled as I looked from the leaf to Emma. We seemed to keep circling back to that tree … and the swing. I tucked the leaf into the pages as a bookmark and set it on the table.

As I walked back into the house, I pulled out my phone and sent a text to my mother. You can deplete all of my savings, and I’ll sign my trust over to you. PLEASE sell the house to me.

Nate was putting groceries away in random cabinets. I let him continue, knowing I’d end up moving them where I wanted later.

‘Do you want to stay for dinner?’

‘No thanks, but I’ll take a beer,’ he responded.

‘Sure.’ I pulled a beer from the fridge, trying to conceal the pleased look on my face.

‘You really didn’t want me here,’ Nate grumbled, reading me way too easily. ‘But, Evan, do you know what you’re doing? I mean, she’s obviously going through a lot this summer. Maybe you’re going to push her to do something you’ll both regret.’

‘We’ll figure it out,’ I assured him. ‘I’m not going make things worse. Trust me, they can’t get worse.’

Nate nodded thoughtfully.

‘But I need to let whatever’s happening between us, happen. Maybe we can get past everything that we’ve been through. I have to find out. She’s finally starting to talk to me. And she’s never really been able to do that before. Not like this.’

Nate shrugged in resignation, taking a large swig of beer.

‘My mother and her sister are taking my cousins to Disney for the weekend, and they’re stopping by here tomorrow on their way. My mother wants you to come over for dinner. You can bring Emma if you want.’

‘I’ll ask her.’

‘I have to warn you, my cousins are Satan’s spawn.’ His lip curled in disgust. ‘But you’re not getting out of this dinner, no matter what. There’s no way you’re leaving me alone with these kids.’