Only Mine (Honey Mountain #5)(85)

“You suck at skiing. You’re too cautious.”

She laughed. “Well, thank you for that. And you’re the only one who can give the man a run for his money. Please. It’ll do you good to get outside, and the slopes have always been your happy place.” She put her hands together like she was praying, and I rolled my eyes.

But she was right. I wasn’t this girl. I didn’t sit inside sulking over a man who’d kicked my ass to the curb.

Hells to the no.

“Fine. Give me five minutes,” I said, and she jumped up and down a few times and followed me inside.

I pulled out my black ski pants and matching jacket. A black turtleneck. A black beanie. Black gloves. Black goggles.

“Wow. You’re really going for the all-black look, I see. Like a cloud of darkness on the white snow.” Everly raised a brow.

Yeah. My outfit matches my black, jaded heart.

“Hey, if you want me to come, you don’t get to judge the outfit.” I brushed my hair into a low ponytail so I could pull on my beanie easily. I slipped on my ski pants and jacket and grabbed my ski boots to bring with me.

“Deal. And Hawk has already loaded your skis from the garage.”

I quirked a brow as we walked toward the door. “Someone was feeling awfully confident that I would come.”

“I wasn’t going without you, so I planned to drag you out that door if I had to.”

When we stepped outside, I looked up and let the snow hit me in the face. I loved winter in Honey Mountain. The downtown area was decorated with white lights zigzagging back and forth across Main Street. Large baskets with poinsettias hung from all the streetlights. Holiday music was piped through the speakers, and everyone was in the spirit.

I would most likely be the only person in this town dressed in all black, channeling my inner Johnny Cash, and I was just fine with it.

I’d never been good at faking my feelings, so I wouldn’t start now.

“There’s our little princess of darkness.” Hawk’s laughter bellowed around the large driveway. He picked me up and spun me around. “You’re going to be all right, Dilly. I need you to trust me on that.”

I nodded when he set me down because that was just who Hawk was. He wanted everyone he loved to be happy. He couldn’t stand to see anyone upset.

The drive to the lodge was as entertaining as a ride could be when you felt like you just wanted to go back home and climb under the covers.

Everly was going to stop nursing this week, and she’d read everything under the sun about weaning baby Jackson off her breast milk.

“What if he’s upset, though?” she said, and Hawk reached for her hand beside him.

“Baby, he’s going to be just fine.”

“You can’t keep him on the tit forever,” I said dryly because I was annoyed that I was even here.

This is the last place I wanted to be. I wanted to wallow in my own little private pity party, but Everly had dragged me out here to ski, not to talk about her engorged bosoms.

She sighed and turned around in her seat to look at me. “I’m glad you came.”

That was not the typical response from her after what I’d just said, and I narrowed my gaze.

“Do not feel sorry for me. I just said something rude. The least you could do is bite back. Don’t be nice; it only makes me feel like a loser.”

Hawk laughed, and Everly shook her head and reached for my hand. “Is it so awful that your family loves you and wants to be there for you?”

I closed my eyes when we pulled into the ski resort parking lot, and I counted down from ten. “No one needs to be there for me. I’m fine. You’re the one who constantly has milk leaking from your breasts—let’s focus on that.”

Everly chuckled, and Hawk put the truck into park. I jumped out and made my way to the back, anxious to hit the slopes now that I was here.

“So, I’m going to go to the lodge and have some hot chocolate and read for a bit. You go race Dilly down that mountain, okay?” She pushed up on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek before doing the same to me. “I love you, sissy. Even when you’re grumpy.”

She was acting a little strange. A bit too chipper. But maybe this was just her hormones reacting to all the changes in her body as she weaned little Jackson off her breast milk. We both waved goodbye and slipped into our ski boots, tucking our shoes back into the truck. Hawk grabbed my skis and poles for me, and we walked toward the hill.

“I know it’s hard for her to stop nursing. I shouldn’t have joked about it.”

Hawk tossed our ski equipment over his shoulder and glanced at me. “You going soft on me, Dilly?”

“Never.”

He came to a stop in the snow and set down the skis for us. I stepped onto mine, my boots clamping in with a snap.

“It’s okay to be sad, Dilly. You love him. You’re worried about him. I’ve been there, and I get it.” He handed me my poles and pulled his beanie over his head.

“I hate him for making me love him,” I whispered, surprised by my own words. But Hawk was that guy… He had a huge heart and would never share what I told him with anyone else. He never judged or made you feel stupid for saying what you felt.

He nodded. “Listen, it’s never easy. The question is, is it worth fighting for?”