Only Mine (Honey Mountain #5)(31)

“I can’t imagine how hard it is on his wife. You don’t even know how many times Mom, Dad, and I sat up all night because we knew you were in danger, even though you wouldn’t tell us anything. But we’d watch the news, and we knew you were on some of those missions. Even Seb worried. I mean, he’d call us and ask if we’d heard anything… even if he was out at a club when he’d call.” She fell back in laughter, and I couldn’t help but smile. My brother was always entertaining, to say the least. He’d need to grow up at some point, but he didn’t have to do it just yet.

“Sounds about right. I’m sorry I worried you, though. But I know I was doing what I was supposed to do at the time. But it’s not easy on the families, and that was definitely a motivation in my leaving when I did.”

“I’m just glad you’re home.” She set her glass down and studied me. “I ran into Josh Landers today. He asked about you.”

I pushed to my feet and took my wine glass to the kitchen and set it on the counter. Josh had been my best friend growing up. He lived down the street from us, and our parents were best friends, as well. Or, at least, they had been. Now there was a weird, fucked-up elephant in the room for everyone, and I’d been happy to be far away from it during the years I was gone.

“How’s he doing?”

“He seemed okay. I think he wants to see you,” she said when I sat back down on the couch beside her. I glanced out the floor-to-ceiling windows to see the lights of the city shining against the black sky.

“It’s been years. It’s done. There’s nothing really to say at this point.”

“He had Westin with him. He’s so big now. I hadn’t seen him in years.” Westin was Josh’s son.

“I saw an old Christmas card at the house with a photo of him and Westin on Mom’s desk. He’s a big kid now. Good for him. Glad Josh stepped up eventually. And I’m sure Kress does the best she can.”

“Yeah, from what I’ve heard, she’s a good mom. She’s got the support of her parents, which is good. And Josh has made an effort to be involved for these last few years. I think he really misses you, Wolf.”

“What do you want me to say, Sabine? He fucked my girlfriend a few months after I was gone. There isn’t much one can do to come back from that.” Kressa and I had dated all through high school. She was the first and last girl I’d ever said I love you to, and I was just fine with that. I didn’t know what would happen when I left for the Naval Academy, but I sure as fuck didn’t expect her to fuck my best friend. She’d written me to let me know that she’d gotten pregnant, and they were going to give it a shot. I’d actually hate him a little less if things had worked out between them. It would have meant that it was worth fucking up all our friendships over. But, of course, Josh just took what he wanted, and then he had no use for her. He went off to college, and Kressa stayed home with their kid and lived at her parents’ house. Both of them came from wealthy families, so they were lucky enough to have the emotional and financial support to afford a child at that age.

“I think they both regret it. They weren’t even together by the time Westin was born, so the relationship was clearly short-lived.”

“Listen, shit happens. I get it. I don’t blame her for doing her thing. I wasn’t sure when I was coming back. Does it suck that it was with my best friend? Hell yeah. It stung for a long time. But time heals, and I forgive her. I think he’s a piece of shit because we were more like brothers. And you know Josh as well as I do. He wasn’t interested in anything serious with Kressa. Everything was a game to him, and I don’t have an interest in being friends with a guy like that anymore. He doesn’t have a loyal fucking bone in his body.”

She nodded. “I get it. But you haven’t been in a serious relationship since Kressa. Not everyone is going to betray you, Wolf.”

“I’m not worried about that. I’ve been traveling for the last decade, dealing with much bigger shit than the drama of my teenage relationship. And trust me when I tell you, I’m not suffering from a lack of female attention. But I’m not looking for anything serious. I want to focus on the team and make it so Dad can retire soon.”

I kept my relationships without strings over the last decade, and that worked for me. I liked to fuck and enjoy the company of a woman, and then I liked to leave. The only expectation was to please the women I was with, and let’s just say that I was an overachiever in that department. Sex was a release I’d needed during my years in combat. It was the only time I could turn my brain off from the things I’d seen and just be in the moment.

Sabine pretended to gag. “I do not want to hear about your casual relationships with women. Please spare me the details.”

I rolled my eyes. “So, tell me about this new guy. What’s his name?”

“Well, his real name was Todd. But he goes by Z.”

“Z? Why the fuck does he go by a single letter that isn’t even in his name?”

Her head tipped back in laughter. “He doesn’t like labels. He’s so different from anyone I’ve ever dated, Wolf. He cares about the environment and making the world a better place. I’ve been dating so many shallow guys. I think he’s amazing, but I know Mom and Dad won’t like him. So, I need your help at Sunday dinner when I introduce him to everyone.”