One of the Girls(70)

So Robyn had stood on the side of the pool, watching as the other boys – who were still alive, still had hearts beating in their hairless chests – coaxed the girls to ride on their shoulders.

Thomas, a handsome boy from her English Lit class, called to Lexi, ‘Jump on!’ He’d dived down, ducking his head beneath Lexi’s legs, then rising up with her like a prize on his shoulders. Her body dripped with water, skin golden, limbs long. Thomas held onto her smooth calves and Robyn had looked at them both, wishing it were her brother. That he could have this moment in the pool.

‘Robyn! Get on!’ Bella had called from the water. ‘We can take down Lexi!’

‘You can’t lift me,’ Robyn protested.

‘Small but deadly, remember? Climb on!’

Robyn moved to the pool edge, climbing carefully onto Bella’s wet shoulders. She was pleased she wasn’t wrapping her legs around one of the boys as she had goosebumps, which made her leg hair feel like iron filings.

Bella gripped her hands around Robyn’s calves as they squared up to Lexi and Thomas. Eye to eye, Lexi and Robyn grinned as they half-heartedly fought, each lacking the competitive spirit to bring the other down.

Bella had other ideas. Letting go of Robyn, she used both hands to shove Thomas square in the chest. He staggered back, but it was Robyn who was left unbalanced. She felt her thighs, slick with water and sunscreen, slipping. There was nothing to hold on to and she heard herself scream as she went over backwards. She saw the concrete lip of the pool coming towards her, unstoppable. Felt the crack of her skull connecting with it, followed by darkness.

Now Robyn looked towards the sea, her gaze searching out Bella.

She scanned the water, eyes travelling from one side of the bay to the other.

Moonlight danced silver, but not a ripple of movement broke the surface.





61

Bella

Bella thought she was meant to feel something liberating about floating on her back, naked in the sea. Silky and freeing, perhaps? What she actually felt was cold and fearful that some small, fish-like thing was going to swim up her vagina.

She rolled onto her front, deciding swimming would be better. So much easier to do with a few drinks inside her. She was practically gliding right now. From the beach, she could hear the distant wash of voices and the drift of music. She imagined the others talking about her, dissecting her break-up with Fen.

Well, let them!

All weekend she’d felt like something was out of balance, as if there was a tension rippling beneath the surface of the group. But as she swam through the dark, silent water, skin puckered with goosebumps, she began to realise it wasn’t the hen party that was off-kilter: it was her.

A fist of despair slammed into her middle as she thought about losing Fen. She wanted to curl into a ball, sink to the ocean floor. Without Fen, she had nothing to go back to. Fen was everything golden in her life. She’d always known that Fen was too good for her and that, one day, Fen would realise it.

Bella pushed her face beneath the dark skin of the sea, water filling her ears and nose. She screamed. The sound was gargled, terrifying. Her pain distorted to something even more wretched and desperate.

She snapped her head back up, gasping, panicked. Salt water coated her mouth. What the hell was she doing? She didn’t want to be out here, naked, alone. She was suddenly scared. Cold. Tired.

She lowered her feet and disappeared beneath the surface, the black water sealing above her head.

No seabed! No air in her lungs!

She thrashed her legs madly – and broke through the surface, gasping. Her pulse roared in her ears. She swivelled around, clawing at the water.

Her gaze landed on the beach fire in the distance, so very, very far away.





62

Robyn

Robyn stared into the dark bay, searching for Bella.

Inky and still, the sea gave up none of its secrets.

Robyn was reminded of how she’d felt as a teenager, always the one needing to be responsible for Bella – turning down the extra drink so one of them was sober enough to get them home safely, or keeping enough money aside to pay for a taxi so that Bella didn’t weave home at three in the morning, alone in a shimmering dress.

But not tonight.

She was done keeping an eye out for Bella Rossi.

Behind her, the music drummed on, the voices of the others rising and falling. Someone threw another branch on the fire, fresh sparks swirling into the night.

Another beer, Robyn decided. That’s what she’d do. Drink, dance, enjoy herself. She weaved barefoot along the shoreline, feet sinking into the bed of tiny pebbles. A burst of laughter erupted near the fire.

Ahead, something dark was puddled on the shore. She reached down and touched the fabric: Bella’s dress.

Robyn’s gaze swung to the sea. There was no breeze and the water looked still, unruffled. Surely she should hear splashing, the light rippling of Bella swimming?

Something didn’t feel right. Heart quickening, she edged forward until her feet were in the shallows. Bella had been drinking hard all afternoon. She wasn’t a strong swimmer. No, Robyn didn’t like this. She needed to let the others know she was missing. She turned—

‘Boo!’

Robyn screamed.

Bella was in front of her, naked and grinning.

‘Christ!’ Robyn said, a hand pressed to her chest. ‘I thought you were still in the sea!’