One of the Girls(42)

‘I’m sure Yannis has seen breasts before. Admittedly none quite as sensational as these.’ She hung the bikini top over the guardrail.

‘You’ll make the others uncomfortable,’ Lexi whispered, reaching across Bella, unhooking her bikini, and flinging it at her. ‘On! I mean it!’

‘They make me uncomfortable,’ Bella stage-whispered, glancing towards the stern, where Ana and Eleanor were reading in the shade. She wriggled the bikini back into place, keeping the straps off her shoulders. ‘In Ibiza we sunbathed all summer in nothing but thongs.’

‘That was Ibiza.’

‘God, I wish we were still eighteen and could disappear for a whole summer. I miss that freedom. The lifestyle we had. Don’t you? Partying. Dancing through the night. Music drumming so hard in your chest, you think it’s your own heartbeat. The roar of a crowd beneath a strobe of lights. That’s how we’ve always done life, isn’t it? Hard, fast, together.’

‘I know,’ Lexi smiled, full of nostalgia.

‘And now here you are – engaged, pregnant, a bloody yoga teacher!’ Bella laughed.

‘Are you ever going to get over the yoga bit?’

‘Om-likely.’

Lexi snorted. ‘Anyway, nurse to jeweller. You had your own career swerve.’

‘We’re just getting our mid-life crises out the way early.’ Eyeing Lexi’s stomach, she asked, ‘Will you still be able to teach with a passenger in tow?’

‘For a while at least. I guess my body will let me know.’

‘Have you had any morning sickness?’

‘Not really. A few waves of nausea, but that’s it.’ She pressed her fingertips to the wooden deck. ‘Touch wood.’

‘Still planning on waiting till you’re home to tell Ed?’

A warming smell of garlic rose from the galley kitchen, where Yannis was preparing lunch. She nodded. ‘We’ve only got two more nights. Then I can tell him in person.’ She looked at her hands, the diamond on her engagement ring sending a shoal of light swimming across her legs. She felt that same strange unease tightening her chest.

Her thoughts circled back to the Mr and Mrs quiz, something bothering her. ‘Last night when you did the quiz—’

‘Still sorry!’

‘Y’know that question about my bad habits? It got me thinking about Ed and … well, whether he knows all those weird little things about me, like you and Robyn do.’

‘You want him to know about the pillow drool?’

‘It’s just …’ She hesitated, unsure how to explain. ‘Sometimes I think Ed has this image of me as being … more than I am.’

‘We all put our best foot forward in a new relationship.’

Is that it? Lexi couldn’t help wondering if there were parts of herself she was keeping hidden because she sensed that Ed wouldn’t like them. That they wouldn’t fit his image of the Lexi he described as graceful, stylish, classy. Gently, almost without noticing, she was bending into a version of herself that she knew he wanted.

Did everyone do that?

An image popped into her thoughts: her mother flying through the house, nails manicured, wearing a mask of freshly applied make-up, emptying the overflowing bin, removing all traces of herself before Lexi’s father arrived home.

She glanced sideways at Bella. ‘What do you think of him?’

‘Who?’

‘Ed.’

There was a pause. ‘He’s nice.’

‘Damned by faint praise.’

‘Remember, I’m the sort of horrible, brittle-souled person who never thinks her friends’ boyfriends are good enough, as Robyn’s pointed out.’

‘You and Robyn were talking about Ed?’

‘Only in passing,’ she said quickly. ‘Ed’s a lawyer, so he obviously gets the Robyn-seal-of-approval.’

Lexi tried to keep her tone casual as she asked, ‘What would award him the Bella-seal-of-approval?’

‘No idea. It’s never been handed out.’

Lexi realised how much she needed Bella to say, You know what, I adore him. He’s hilarious! He’s the best! I can’t wait for us to hang out more. You’ve made a great choice. You’re going to be so happy!

‘I want the two of you to get on. It’s important to me.’

Bella looked straight at her. Nodded. ‘Okay, I’ll try harder.’

Lexi sensed Bella was holding something back. ‘What is it? What aren’t you telling me?’

‘Nothing.’

It was the quickness of the reply that caused the flicker of doubt to flame. Lexi reached forward and pushed Bella’s sunglasses onto the top of her head. ‘Bella?’ she said, looking her right in the eye. ‘What is it?’ As Lexi waited, she felt her heart rate speeding up, as if – all along – she’d been expecting, waiting, to find a problem.

‘It’s no big deal. It’s nothing.’

‘What isn’t?’

Bella sighed. ‘Just that Cynthia – you know my friend who was a lap-dancer? – well, she mentioned that Ed used to come into the club a lot. He was a regular. That’s all.’ Bella broke eye contact, her gaze slipping to her lap.

‘Oh. That,’ Lexi said with relief. ‘Ed works in the city. They’ve all got too much money and don’t know what to spend it on. He’s told me about it – but he doesn’t go anymore.’ She was surprised Ed’s history of visiting lap-dancing clubs would trouble Bella. ‘That’s all, is it? That was your reservation about Ed?’