Off the Deep End (79)
I leaned over and put my hand on Isaac’s shoulder as the gravel crunched underneath us. My mind searched for something to say. The right words. An inspirational story. A mantra that he could say to himself to help get him through whatever painful journey lay in front of him. But I kept coming up empty handed. Nothing would make this better. Nothing would take it away. There was only one thing I could say.
I gave his shoulder a tight squeeze. “I love you, Isaac, and it’s going to be okay.”
CASE #72946
PATIENT: JULIET (JULES) HART
My eyes scan the visitors sitting at each table as the guard leads me into the room. I spot Dr. Stephens immediately, and his eyes meet mine as he grins. I hold back the urge to run at him and throw myself into his arms. The guard must’ve felt my impulse because she tightens her grip on me. We zigzag our way through the other tables. The room is filled with other visiting families and spouses, so there are tons of screaming babies and fighting siblings. Just as many angry couples. One was being removed when I entered the room. Lawyers are littered around the room, dressed like they just came from court and wearing the most serious expressions of everyone.
I’m probably the only one with a therapist who comes to visit them. Dr. Stephens didn’t have to do this today. My case is officially closed. It’s over. All done. But he still came to see me, and I’ve been counting down the minutes ever since I found out.
As soon as we get close, he rises to meet me like a perfect gentleman. It feels so good to see him. I haven’t seen him since our last session at Samaritan House before everything went down. Three months passed in a blur, but jail is like that. Each monotonous day bleeds into the next.
“Hi, Juliet,” he says, using my formal name, and it dawns on me that he never used my name during all our sessions. And the first time he does, he chooses the formal one? Nobody ever calls me Juliet. Not even my parents when they’re mad at me. I’ve been Jules since I came out of the womb. But I like the way it sounds rolling off his tongue. Maybe it’s time for a change.
“Hi, Dr. Stephens. I’m so happy to see you.” I can’t help beaming. “It’s so nice of you to visit.” There are so many things we can talk about now that we don’t have to keep secrets. It was tough not to just tell him everything before, and he worked just as hard dragging information out of me, but ultimately, I couldn’t betray Isaac. I had to be true to him. After all, he’s the father of my child. My miracle baby.
I instinctively rub my belly at the thought. They say you pop faster with your second one, and I’m sure it’ll happen any day now. It’s only a matter of time. I just need to be patient.
“I can’t wait to hear everything,” Dr. Stephens says as we take our seats, but there’s not anything to tell that hasn’t already been reported in the media ten times. He’s here because he wants to see me, and I don’t try to pretend I’m not happy about that.
We’re on opposite sides of the table like how we sat in the therapy room, but this time we’re surrounded by people. This place is a sea of visitors with absolutely no privacy, but I don’t mind. I’ve got nothing to hide anymore. Everything is out in the open, and there’s an indescribable freedom when you just get to live your life unabashedly naked and unafraid. Speaking of naked, Dr. Stephens looks good.
“You look really nice today,” I say, hoping he knows how much it means to me that he came. “I mean, not like you looked terrible before, but you weren’t sleeping much during the investigation, and I can tell you’ve gotten some rest.”
“Thanks.” He gives me a timid smile like this is an awkward first date, and I want to tell him not to be so nervous. “How’s jail?” he asks, then quickly laughs at himself. “Can I ask that? Is that something you say?” He smiles, pretending to be innocent and naive, but he’s been in jail plenty of times before this. Sometimes I forget he’s a forensic psychologist, so he knows all the right things to say, but I like the way he plays with me. I wouldn’t want him to treat me any different. It would take all the fun away.
“The food is terrible, like really, really terrible, but you know what? The people are less scary than the ones in the psych ward, and they are so much more reasonable too.” I giggle.
“I imagine there’s a difference.” His mood is light and airy. Like a breath of fresh air into this place. I knew I’d missed him, but hadn’t realized how much until I saw his face.
I sit back against my chair, trying to pull my shirt tight against me. These jumpsuits are so unflattering, but I do my best. I’ve got to give him something to think about until the next time he visits.
“How are things going with the case?” I ask, eager to get him talking. I missed the sound of his voice.
He shook his head. “My part is done. I was only called in as an expert witness in your case. I won’t be involved in the others.”
There are so many lawsuits happening it’s hard to keep track of them all. Most of the time it just makes my head spin. Isaac’s is the biggest one, of course. Two of the boys he shot didn’t make it, and they’re charging him with first-degree murder on top of everything else they can throw at the poor kid. I already wrote a letter to Amber and told her I’m willing to do whatever I can to help on his case. That didn’t go over very well. Things with her never do. She still doesn’t understand our relationship or the fact that I was the good influence in Isaac’s life. She’s the one who forced my pregnancy test and the subsequent charges. I’m the one who should be mad at her, but I was willing to put all that aside for Isaac. Still am. Because we should work together to help him. He needs to be punished for his actions, but he shouldn’t be tried as an adult like they’re attempting to do. That’s too much. At first, they even tried to keep him in jail until the trial, but the Greers finally got him out last week.