Objective (Bloodlines #2)(41)

“Dammit, Cypress, STOP!” he bellows.

“Stop calling me that!” He pins my arms above my head with his hands and drives a knee between mine on the bed, firmly holding me where I lie.

“I’m not with Ezra. I’m ATF.” I freeze, completely baffled.

“What?” I breathe.

“I am ATF and you are my only link to Ezra Ash. I’ve been assigned to you for the last two years.”

“Get off.” I squirm.

“Are you going to try to shoot me?” he chuckles.

“Two years?! I haven’t even been here for two years, Bentley, what the hell!” I squeal as soon as he moves off me.

“I know that. I was working as a T.A. at your college and was trying to figure out a way to make contact when all the shit went down.” Oh my goodness. This is so much bigger than I ever thought it was. I’m stunned into silence. I was his in into the Ash family? This can’t be.

“Please say something,” he urges.

“Bentley, I...” words fail me. I curl up into a little ball on the bed and squeeze my eyes shut willing all this to go away. “Last night...” I trail off. One. Two. Three. Four.

“No. No, no, don’t go there. Last night was not part of my assignment. I’m not supposed to get ‘involved’ with you really. Casual friendship, keep an eye out, yes, but Cypress, it’s become so much more for me,” he explains.

“Stop calling me that,” I whisper. “I’m not that person anymore.”

“I’m sorry. I know that,” he laments, grimacing.

“You know that? Really?” I bark out.

“I’ve watched you for two years. I’ve watched the girl you were change into the woman you are now. The only missing link is why you fled,” he says, rubbing my back gently. I shrug his hand off and roll to face him.

“What? You don’t know?” I snit.

“I know Cane Ash was killed and I know that Cane was your boyfriend.” My heart stops at his words. It dies right there. Just my boyfriend. What a terrible way to look at it.

“Cane Ash was my everything. Did you know that we started dating our senior year of high school? Did you know that for our two year anniversary he got us an apartment to live in so we didn't have to be apart during college anymore? Did you know that he wanted out? That he wanted to be something? Or how about that he was NOTHING like his uncle. Nothing like those men. He loved me and I killed him. Did you know all that? No. You surely didn't. You just know what you’re told or what you see, which is only the tip of the iceberg.” It’s a relief to actually say what I really feel for once, to explain what happened. He sits rigid, unmoving, as if he’s digesting my words.

“You killed him?” comes out on a breath. I nod my response.

“It wasn’t him I was aiming for. It was Ezra,” I clarify. “I’m not some heartless bitch, you know.”

“I never said you were. Listen, some of this I need to report back to my superior.” His tone is all business now.

“No,” I state.

“Cy-Mags, I have to. It’s my job.”

“Correction, I’m your job. There’s more,” I offer.

“Why’d you go after Ezra? By all my accounts you were just some goody two shoes average college student,” he says, irritation etched on his face.

“Well thanks for that.” I snort and stand up. I grab the gun from the floor and put the safety back on before setting it on my nightstand. I tug the hem of his shirt, trying to hide more of myself. I feel too exposed now that the truth is out.

“He’s found me. I knew he’d come. I’m a loose end and I have his money. It’s why I train, and have my trailer ‘pimped out,’ and why I keep a gun near me at all times.”

“Mags, listen, we don’t have enough to put him away yet. You were a lead because you could get us inside information. But I need to know why you’re a loose end and why you think he’s found you.” I hate the cold all-business nature his voice as taken on.

I stomp down the hall and fix myself the coffee that I’ve yet to drink before plopping on the couch and chugging my mug.

“I found a cypress branch on the hood of my car the other night. No one knows I’m Cypress, unless it was you who put it there.” I raise an eyebrow at him and wait. He shakes his head no at me.

“I set up multiple P.O. boxes when I moved here, all over, and had junk mail sent to each. I changed my name, it was…it was nothing Ezra would ever know to call me. I have burner phones and haven't had any contact with anyone besides Aster since the day I left,” I explain. “In other words, I’ve been smart. Ezra has money and resources that I don't, so I knew it would only be a matter of time. I want him to find me, Bentley, I’m ready for him now. I need to finish this.” I watch as irritation and concern battle for his attention. He leans back and pounds his fists into the cushion of the couch.

“You can’t kill him, Mags. You’ll go to prison,” he barks at me, clearly irritated.

“I have to make things right. It’s all his fault. I need this, Bentley, I need this to feel alive again,” I plead.

“You didn't feel alive last night?” he growls.

“Don’t do that. Don’t make the comparison. It’s not the same,” I snap.