My Not So Perfect Life(81)

Now he’s heading toward me with a springy, bouncing walk, as though walking’s far too slow for him but he doesn’t want to run.

“This is insane. What are you doing here?”

“I live here.”

“You live here?” Alex peers at me. “Is this your job now?”

“Yes. But it’s my home too. Always has been.”



“But…” He runs a hand through his hair, in that way he does. “Wait. You live in Birmingham, don’t you?”

And although I’ve decided that I’m not going to analyze everything he says, I can’t help myself. I never mentioned Birmingham to him. Does that mean he’s talked about me to someone? Does that mean—

No. Stop. It doesn’t mean anything.

“I used to work in Birmingham,” I say. “Demeter got the wrong end of the stick. But, then, she’s not really into details. Or junior staff.”

I fold my arms and look at him with a deliberately blank expression. I’m playing a bit of a game here. The more I’m rude about Demeter, the more he might reveal about her. Or at least he’ll never suspect I’m having this conversation on her behalf.

Will he?

Alex is so sharp, I wouldn’t be surprised at anything, but I can do my best.

“You do know she’s here?” I add. “Are you down here for a meeting, then? Or did you just see the brochure and decide to have a mini-break?”

All my senses are on high alert as I wait for his reply—but Alex doesn’t seem to hear the question.

“Have you spoken to her?” he asks slowly. “Demeter, I mean.”

“Demeter! Of course not. We’ve said hello or whatever….” I shrug. “She didn’t even recognize me at first. Typical.”

“Is it typical?” says Alex, with sudden animation. “Is it? You worked for her; you’ll know—” He breaks off and rubs his face, looking unexpectedly desolate.



“Know what?”

“Oh, it doesn’t matter now. The die is cast.”

He lapses into silence, and I can see the lines round his mouth form into little grooves. Anxious grooves.

There’s a sinking feeling in my stomach. He doesn’t look like someone who saw a brochure and decided to have a holiday. He looks like someone with a mission that he doesn’t want to carry out.

Which, actually, is very inconsiderate of him, I find myself thinking. It is not in the Ansters Farm spirit. Being fired is not on our list of relaxing holiday activities.

“So, her whole family are here?” he says after a brooding pause.

“Yes,” I reply pointedly. “They’re having a really nice time. So, shall I tell Demeter you’re here? I’m not sure where she’s got to, in fact—”

“No!” he says quickly. “Don’t tell her yet. Just give me—” He breaks off. “Look, I had no idea you’d be here, Katie. It’s…it makes things complicated.”

“What’s complicated?” I look as puzzled as I possibly can.

“Demeter,” he says unguardedly, then winces. “Shit. You know, I was not expecting to see you here. You’re throwing me off.” He gives me an accusing look.

“Well, I don’t care what it is,” I say, managing to appear supremely uninterested. “Only don’t have a row or anything. It’ll upset the guests.”

“?‘Have a row’?” he echoes, with a humorless little laugh. “I’m afraid we might well have a row. If not worse.”

I force myself to shrug, then keep quiet for a while. I have a feeling he wants to unburden himself. I can see it in his pained eyes, the way he’s twitching his fingers, the way he keeps glancing up at me….



“Look, I think I should tell you something,” he says in a sudden rush. “You can be discreet?”

“Of course.”

“Things are going to get awkward. I have to tell Demeter she’s being let go from Cooper Clemmow.”

And even though I knew it was coming, I feel a shock wave run through me. I can’t imagine Demeter fired. It seems all upside down. Demeter is the creative, inspired one. Demeter is the one who bangs heads together. Demeter leads; others follow. She’s the boss. She just is.

Belatedly, I realize that I haven’t demonstrated any outward surprise at all. Shit.

“I’m so shocked,” I say hastily, “that I can’t react. I’m numb.”

There. Covered myself, I hope.

“I know.” Alex winces. “Believe me, it hasn’t been an easy decision. I mean, Demeter’s brilliant, we all know that. But there have been some issues….Adrian feels—well, everyone feels—things have not been going swimmingly, put it like that.”

“Right.” I wonder if I can get any more out of him. “So, what was, like, the deciding factor?”

“Oh God.” Alex exhales sharply. “There’s been so much. But this latest cock-up with Allersons is unforgivable—” He interrupts himself and looks around to check we’re not being overheard. “This is confidential, right?”

“Absolutely,” I say gravely. “We have a motto here: What is uttered in the stable yard stays in the stable yard.”