My Not So Perfect Life(79)

“We hoped doing Livingetc might mean we could rent it out for photo shoots,” says Demeter, sounding matter-of-fact. “But nobody wanted it.”

“It’s still fantastic, though.”

“I look at it and I see mortgage payments,” says Demeter. “The kids love it, though. We could never move.”

I never thought about mortgage payments either. I thought Demeter lived such a gilded life, she didn’t have to worry about stuff like that.

“You always behave like your life is perfect,” I say abruptly.

“I put a good face on things,” Demeter says after a pause. “Doesn’t everyone? I’ve always thought—wait!” She interrupts herself with an almighty gasp. “Rewind. I knew I’d missed something. What was that you said, ‘lover’? I haven’t got a lover!”

I feel a spasm of anger. Really? She’s going to deny it, even now? I feel like we had a little entente cordiale going, and now she’s smashed it.

“Of course you have,” I say shortly. “Everyone knows.”

“Everyone knows what?”

“That you’re sleeping with Alex Astalis.”

“What?” Demeter peers at me. “What are you saying to me? What?”

For fuck’s sake.

“Everyone knows,” I reiterate. “That’s why he brought you in to Cooper Clemmow. I mean, it’s pretty obvious, Demeter. The way you two are with each other…always laughing and joking….”

“We’re old friends!” expostulates Demeter. “That’s all! My God—who told you this?”



“Just…people at the office.” I’m not going to get Flora into trouble. “But, I mean, it’s common knowledge. You haven’t hidden it very well.”

“There’s nothing to hide!” Demeter practically detonates. “This is just a ridiculous rumor! I mean, Alex? I love him dearly, but any woman who got involved with Alex Astalis would have to be insane.”

I can’t believe it. She won’t admit it, will she?

“Stop denying it when we all know it’s true!” I yell. “What’s Alex coming here for if he’s not your lover?”

Demeter looks startled. “What do you mean?”

“He wasn’t very subtle,” I say pointedly. “He didn’t exactly book in under the name ‘Mr. Smith.’ You called him as soon as your husband told you he was off to Brussels, didn’t you? Biddy said he rang up at two-thirty. Nice.”

“What?” Demeter gives every impression of being horrified. Can’t she give it a rest?

“Stop pretending!” I say furiously. “It’s really tedious!”

“I’m not pretending!” As Demeter’s voice rockets around the wood, she sounds on the edge of panic. “Are you telling me that Alex Astalis is on his way here? Is this true?”

She’s so agitated, I pause in my thoughts. Whatever else is true, she seems genuinely shocked at this news.

“Well…yes. He’s staying in the farmhouse. Arriving this morning.” I glance at my watch. “It’s nearly eleven. He might even be here by now.”

Demeter doesn’t reply. For a moment I think she might not have heard. But then, three seconds later, she sinks down into the swamp, as though her legs won’t hold her anymore.

“He’s firing me,” she whispers.



“What?” I’m astounded, almost wanting to laugh at the idea. “No.”

“Yes.” Her face is ashen and she’s staring blindly ahead. “Alex has come here to see me, obviously.” She counts off on her fingers, as though working out a logic problem. “If he wanted a meeting, he’d have made contact. He hasn’t. So he wants to take me by surprise. There’s only one reason for that: He’s letting me go. Asking me to resign. However he does it.”

“But…” I’m so shocked, I find myself sitting down in the swamp too. “But why would they fire you? You’re the boss! You’re the genius! You’re the whole thing.”

Demeter gives a weird little laugh and turns to face me. “You haven’t been in touch with anyone from work, have you?”

“Not really,” I say uncomfortably. “I knew things were going a bit wrong….”

“Well. They went a lot wrong. And I don’t even understand how. I don’t understand…”

Demeter slowly bends her head to her knees. Her damp hair falls forward, off her neck, and I see her gray roots showing at the base of her skull. The sight makes her seem suddenly vulnerable once more. It’s the side she’s trying to keep from the world—like that moment with Carlo. And as I watch her, curled up like a hiding animal, I feel a weird, unfamiliar feeling. Like I want to pat her back reassuringly.

“Look,” I venture. “It might not be what you think. Maybe he’s come here on holiday. He might have seen the brochure on your desk, decided to book himself a little break….”

Demeter raises her head. “Do you really think so?”

I can see hope battling with despair on her mud-splattered face. “Well, it’s possible. After all, the brochure is really good….” I risk a little wink at Demeter, and she laughs, her tension briefly lifting.