My Maddie (Hades Hangmen #8)(2)

“Isaiah.” Mama shuffled closer.

“Don’t.” I pressed myself against the wall. Mama stopped, and when I knew she wasn’t coming closer, I looked at my brother again. He was watching me.

“He knows you,” Mama said.

I swallowed the strange lump that was in my throat. “He does?”

“Because you’re his big brother, Josiah. He knows you’ll always protect him.”

“I will?” I didn’t know how. I was bad.

“You’re not evil, baby,” Mama said. But it was because she didn’t understand what evil was. Poppa told me she didn’t. Suddenly, Isaiah lifted his hand, almost touching mine. I pulled my hand back. He was still looking at me. “He only wanted to hold your finger, baby. He wants to meet his big brother.”

“Hold… hold my finger?”

“Watch,” Mama said. She put her finger toward my brother, and he curled his hand around it. Mama smiled. “He only wants to say hello.”

“I can’t.” I tucked my hands under my legs. I wanted to hold his hand. But I couldn’t hurt him. I couldn’t make him a sinner like me.

“Baby,” my mama said.

“Promise me…” She looked down at Isaiah and kissed his cheek. I wanted her to kiss my cheek too. But she couldn’t. I wouldn’t let her. No one could ever kiss my cheek.

“Promise me you will always love your brother, Josiah. That you’ll always look after him. Protect him. It’s what big brothers do.”

“I promise.”

Mama started crying again. “One day, when you leave this place, take him with you. Keep him safe. And love him. Allow him to love you too. You both deserve it.”

I didn’t know why she was saying these things. My poppa would never let me leave.

“You’re not evil. You’re my precious little boy who just sees the world differently. It’s Poppa who doesn’t understand. You’re special and loved. So much, baby. Do you understand me? Do you believe me?” I nodded, but, really, I didn’t. “I love you. I will always love you, and Isaiah. Even when I’m not here. You are brothers, and brothers protect one another.” Mama looked down at Isaiah again. He was still holding her finger in his tiny hand. “And one day, when you feel brave, you might let him hold your finger too. You won’t hurt him, baby. I know you won’t.”

I wanted to be brave. I wanted to be brave for Mama. But I couldn’t touch him. I couldn’t hurt him. Maybe one day, when the flames were gone and the devil had left my soul, I would finally let him hold my finger.





Chapter One


Flame

Present day…



“I swear, she had fuck-all gag reflex. She kept going and going, taking all the anaconda down her throat.” Viking whistled as we walked into the clubhouse. “I blacked out. I swear I fucking blacked out when she gripped my balls in her fist and I exploded into her mouth.” He nudged AK. “Rudge had her next. Said he lost the ability to speak for ten minutes afterwards. Slut was that good.”

“Good to know, brother,” AK said, as he pushed open the door to church.

“I know, right? You and Flame here may have permanent blue balls now you’re all glued to your ball-and-chains, but not me. Y’all can live vicariously through me.”

“That mean we ‘vicariously’ get gonorrhea through your whore ass too?” AK said.

Viking put his hand on his chest. “In all my conquests I have yet to contract any STDs, spank you very much, motherfucker.”

AK looked at Vike. “Bullshit. I remember the chlamydia epidemics of 2010, 2012, and 2014.”

Viking shrugged. “Well, yeah, but what’s a little clam between friends? I’m clean as a fucking whistle now.”

AK shook his head and took his seat. As I sat down, I looked at Ash, who was leaning against the wall. He had a smoke in his hand and was chewing on his lip ring. He hadn’t come home last night. Maddie was up all night, worrying. I’d tried to call him, but he hadn’t answered. My chest made a strange ache. I rubbed my hand over my sternum. I didn’t know how to fucking speak to the kid. Maddie said he was in pain over Slash dying. Said he needed help. I didn’t know what the hell kind of help I could give. He didn’t even talk much anymore. Stayed with Smiler a lot, at his place.

I rubbed my chest harder. The fucking ache was bad.

The door to church opened, and Tank, Tanner, and Bull came through. Smiler was next, beard and hair longer than usual. His eyes were fucking red. Zane brought through drinks, and then moved to where Ash was standing, where they spoke too quiet for me to hear.

Rudge sat next to Viking. “Vike, you tell them about the slut—”

“We’ve heard,” AK said. “Don’t need your version too.”

“But did he tell you about fisting our balls—”

“He did. Still trying like fuck to scrape that visual from my brain.”

Rudge bit his bottom lip. “Fuck. I’m hard again now just thinking of that spectacular blowjob session.”

Styx came through the door and nudged his chin in our direction to get AK’s attention. AK moved next to the prez, and Styx signed, “Lilah’s had her kids this morning. Ky’s at the hospital.” AK spoke Styx’s words out loud for those who didn’t understand sign.