My Husband's Wife(131)

But that’s the problem with lies. As I said at the beginning, they start small. And then they multiply. Over and over again. So that the white lies become as black as the real thing. Yet his lie has saved me.

Amazingly the jury believed Joe. It helped that, on the night of Ed’s murder, there wasn’t any sign of a forced entry. So it made sense that Carla had let him in voluntarily.

Life, he got, for conspiring to murder Ed and for his assault on Carla. The same as Carla got for murdering Ed. The same as Joe should have got for poor Sarah Evans.

You could say it was justice. But I’m not so sure. That’s why I’m here.

‘I know you weren’t telling the truth. I want to know what really happened.’

He grins. Like we’re playing a game, just as we had at the beginning when he made me work out the boiler figures.

‘Touch me.’ His voice is so low that I barely hear it. Then he says it again. ‘Touch me and then I’ll tell you.’

I glance around. The officers with their folded arms. Women talking urgently to their partners opposite. Couples not talking.

‘I can’t.’

‘Look.’ He’s staring straight at me. ‘Look to your right.’

So I do. The woman next to me has her foot up, in between her partner’s legs.

‘I won’t do that.’ I’m flushing. Hot.

‘Then I won’t tell you.’

This is blackmail. Just as he’d tried to blackmail me over the DNA and the key.

I look again. The officer nearest me is making her way to the offending table. She’s not looking at us.

‘Quickly,’ he says.

My heart starts to speed up just as it had on the seafront when Joe took my key. A wave of desire starts to seep through the lower part of my body, even though I try to crush it.

Then the stables flash into my mind. Daniel with his limp neck. Amelia, my doll, lying on the ground below my brother. And Merlin with a puzzled expression on his all-knowing, dear old face. Killed by Sarah Evans’s murderer – or as good as – in an attempt to scare me.

It’s a wake-up call. A distinct prod back to sanity.

‘No,’ I say firmly, my feet still on the ground. ‘No. I won’t. I’m through with all these games, Joe. They’re over.’

A brief look of disappointment shoots across his face, followed by an ‘if that’s the way you want it’ shrug.

He makes as if to stand, and then appears to change his mind.

‘OK. You’re lucky. I’m feeling generous today. I’ll still give you a clue.’

‘I told you.’ I almost thump the table. ‘No more games.’

‘But this one, Lily, is in your interest. It will give you peace. Trust me.’ His smile chills me to my bones. ‘Watch my finger. Carefully.’

He is tracing a number on the table top. There’s an 0. And then a 5. And then, I think, a 6.

‘I don’t get it.’ Tears are pricking my eyes. I feel sick. Visiting time is almost over. I thought I might get closure coming here, but I haven’t. Instead I’m trying to get sense out of a madman.

‘Look again.’

0. Definitely.

5. Or so it seems.

6.

056.

‘Five minutes,’ barks the officer behind me.

Joe darts his eyes towards the clock. Is that a clue?

Try, I tell myself. Think about this puzzle like your son does. See it from another angle.

‘I don’t know,’ I sob. ‘I don’t know.’

Other inmates are beginning to look. Joe sees it too.

He’s speaking. Slowly. Quietly. Like a parent soothing a child.

‘Then I’ll tell you. It means nothing. Sometimes we see clues in things that are not there. The simple truth, Lily, is that you’re a good person, deep down. But you were weak that night. Hurt. Scared. That’s why you let me take the key. I knew that if I did something terrible using it, you’d never be able to forgive yourself. Well, now you can. So I meant it when I said that I didn’t have to use the key. That’s why I posted it back to you.’

There’s a glimmer of hope inside me. ‘Honestly?’

I realize for the first time that I don’t really know this man. I never did. Yes, he may look similar to Daniel. Speak like him. But he isn’t Daniel. He’s a killer. And a liar.

He grins. ‘It’s true – Carla opened the door before I could use your key. She was clearly making a run for it.’

‘So it wasn’t my fault that Ed was murdered?’

He shakes his head.

‘But why say you were hired as a hit man?’

Another grin. ‘I knew I would get convicted for my assault on Carla, so I figured I might as well try to take her down with me.’

‘But it meant you got a longer sentence,’ I whisper.

‘Yeah. Well.’ He shrugs. Joe looks embarrassed. ‘Let’s just call it my penultimate act of love for the woman I could never have.’

‘Penultimate?’ I whisper.

‘Yes. And this is the final one.’ He leans closer. ‘Carla was convicted for killing Ed because she plunged the knife into him. Wasn’t she?’

I nod.

‘But the knife was found on the ground.’