My Big Fat Fake Wedding(37)

I’m so in shock that I can’t think, and silence stretches, my heart pounding like a war hammer. I only remember myself when Ross nudges me with his thumb on my kneecap and the world starts up again.

“Yes!” I shriek, forcing the word out, and them more quietly, “Yes.”

Ross’s smile is genuine again as he slips the big rock on my finger, and the way his eyes twinkle in the light of the living room makes my head swim. His handsome face is filled with emotion, forcing my heart into a double-twisting triple-backflip.

Real. This feels real, and that’s weird and dangerous as fuck.

He surges toward me, standing to clasp a powerful hand on each side of my face, and then we’re kissing again, his mouth powerful and claiming me with a single touch. I give in to him, kissing him back just as hard, and this time, I’m the one pressing on his lips to wrap my tongue around his, invading his mouth and claiming him right back.

In just a second, we’ve gone from a polite post-yes kiss to full-on tonsil hockey mouth snogging, and it’s only our need for oxygen that forces us to pull back. He presses his forehead to mine, his eyes gleaming as they fill my field of vision. His cheeks puff up as he grins, and suddenly, I’m reminded of that same grin ten years ago.

My stomach drops. This isn’t real. No matter how much of a roller coaster ride this has been in the last twenty-four hours, it’s all a front.

He’s not like Colin, not at all, but Ross is all about the image, at least right now. The image I just helped him present.

And the real Ross is triumphantly laughing inside, maybe not at me but at his own family, at Morgan and Kimberly and Courtney. Hell, maybe even at Abi some, although she’s obviously a partner in all of this.

Ross is still the same asshole you’ve always known.

There’s an audible dramatic gasp from Courtney, followed by momentary shocked silence. Morgan and Kimberly both look absolutely gobsmacked, the first time I’ve legitimately been able to use that word since reading it back in junior high school. They all look back and forth at each other with wide eyes and open mouths.

Before anyone can say anything, though, Karl comes in, clearing his throat. “Excuse me, but dinner is served.”

Oh, great. Now the fun starts.





*



Courtney is the first one to break the silence when we sit down around the dining room table, her face pinching when Ross takes my left hand, showing off the ring even more.

“But, Ross . . . Violet?” she asks in disbelief, her nose wrinkling like someone unleashed rotten eggs. “Isn’t this the same girl you held down against the grass and then farted in her face because she called you a big hulking ogre in front of your friends when you guys were in middle school?”

OMG, I think, almost choking on a piece of my salad, I’d almost forgotten about that!

Just remembering it brings the annoyance I felt with Ross during our youth, and without even thinking, I nudge him in the ribs with my elbow.

Not to be undone, he nudges me right back, except his is so powerful I almost fall out of my seat.

Luckily, no one notices.

“Courtney!” Mrs. Andrews—Kimberly, gotta remember to call her Kimberly—scolds. “Please, let’s not dredge up ancient history!”

Courtney doesn’t back down. “What, Mom? It’s true! I spent my entire childhood listening to Abi and Ross fighting like cats and dogs, and more often than not, it was over how Ross treated Violet. I really don’t see how this could happen. I mean, seriously?”

“I guess opposites attract,” I say as I pinch Ross’s thigh underneath the table while maintaining a fraudulent smile. “And when we looked at each other with fresh eyes, we realized that there was something there the whole time.” I look at him lovingly, which is somewhere between easy and hard. Too easy to be real, too hard to be fake.

“All of my antics were apparently because I wanted her so badly,” Ross adds, grinning at me in a picture of happiness. In contrast, his returning pinch is so sharp I nearly gasp out loud.

Courtney scowls. “You must really love the smell of his farts then.”

“Courtney!” Kimberly scolds again. “No more, please!”

“It’s fine, Mom. Court . . . it’s like that old cartoon I saw on TV when we were kids,” Ross says, turning to her with a placating plea on his face. “It was an old Looney Tunes, I think. But in it, there was this bear.”

“Oh, great, a love story with a bear,” Courtney groans, but Ross chuckles and looks at me in such a way that I’m suddenly enraptured by him again. He’s damn near magnetic when he wants to be.

“Yeah, so there’s a bear who was raised in the circus. And one day, the bear gets released into the wild, I forget how. But he meets this girl bear, and at first, he tries to be nice to her. The girl bear ignores him for a few days, but he doesn’t give up.”

“I bet,” Abi says sarcastically, one eyebrow lifting up her forehead. “So, what happened?”

“Well, the boy bear approaches the girl bear with a bouquet of flowers like he saw the humans at the circus do,” Ross continues, “but the girl bear hauls off and just smacks him across the face, sending him flying backward.”

Courtney shrugs. “And?”

“So, the boy bear tries again,” Ross says, still looking at me, “and again he gets smacked. The boy bear thinks the girl hates him, so he goes off to sulk . . . and one of the other animals fills him in on the deal. In the wild, bears would smack each other when they like each other! So the boy bear, realizing the truth, runs over to the girl bear, and when she smacks him, he hauls off and smacks her right back. Boom! Happily ever after.”