My Big Fat Fake Wedding(33)

I need to stop, or I’m going to walk out of the washroom just as hard as when I walked in. Flushing the toilet, I take a good two minutes to wash my hands and splash water on my face, getting myself under some semblance of control before heading back into my office.

The door’s open and Kaede’s waiting for me, sitting in one of my chairs and tapping away at his tablet so fast and hard that I suspect I’m going to be buying him a new one within a few months. I’m just hoping he was distracted enough by whatever he’s working on to not have heard what I was doing in the bathroom.

He looks up when I sit down and judging by the concern and not smirking judgement, I think I’m in the clear.

“How’s the headache?” And what warrants calling me in on a weekend?”

Straight to the point, I like that about him.

“Barely there,” I reply, opening my laptop. “Listen, I need you to—”

“Wait,” Kaede says, holding up a hand. He does that sometimes, and while most executive assistants would probably lose their jobs for interrupting their executive VP bosses, I’ve come to trust his judgement. He clicks around on his tablet, muttering, “Password protected and off the servers, just to be careful while I’m taking notes. Okay, so about Violet . . .”

He eyes me expectantly. Of course he knows who Violet is. He went to school with us and knows enough of my social life and family life to recognize the name, even if he hadn’t seen her in years before last night. And I’m sure Abi probably gave him a full earful of her dastardly plan.

He shows it by quickly ticking off the benefits. “Well . . . explaining the relationship is easy. And she’s certainly good-looking and smart, her rep in the design world is top-notch, so she’s believable as your girlfriend—”

Maybe Abi didn’t give him all the details of her plan after all?

“I’m marrying her.”

In the entire time Kaede’s worked for me, I’ve only once seen him drop his tablet to the floor, and that required a clumsy UPS delivery girl, three boxes, and his shoe being untied by accident.

This time, though, it only takes three words and his tablet slips from his fingers to bounce off the carpet of my office, his face so slack that he doesn’t notice it at all. “You’re what?”

“I’m marrying her,” I repeat, pulling up my email and starting to type. “In fact, I’m going to hold a dinner at my parents’ house tonight to announce it to my family. We need to get in front of the gossip hounds that I’m sure are already jumping on this story. We went ring shopping this morning.”

“Dude . . . Ross, are you sure you want to take it this far?” Kaede asks. “I mean, when I said fake girlfriend, that’s one thing. But married? That’s a bit much, don’t you think?”

“No,” I immediately reply. “Listen, Violet has her reasons too. It’s a win-win for both of us.”

“And she’s not going to try and fuck you?”

I blink, my cock surging in my pants at the idea Kaede’s question plants. As weird as it seems, my body certainly wants Violet to fuck me. “Excuse me?”

“When it’s over,” Kaede explains. “You know, big public divorce, get a settlement . . . ?”

I laugh, relieved at what he means. “No. Not that I think I need it, but that’s what the NDA I had you pull together was about. Not for her to be my girlfriend but to be my wife. And I’m sure my dad will want her to sign a pre-nup. No getting around that, so the aftermath should be easy.”

“Easy?” he says, not looking like he believes that for a second. But he recovers enough to pick up his tablet. “You’re the boss. So, you’re really doing this?”

I nod and quickly type out a pair of messages, the first to my family, the other to Violet. I could have copy-pasted and sent her the same thing I sent my family, but the idea of calling her ‘honey’ sarcastically is just too delicious. It’s so much fun to get under Vi’s skin, wind her up, and see how she comes back at me.

After hitting Send, I lean back.

“Okay, I’m going to need you to cover my ass professionally a little here,” I tell Kaede honestly. “This engagement’s going to be at warp speed. Violet needs to be married in two weeks. And there’s going to be a lot to do. I’m sure my parents are both going to be stunned and hopefully back off a little on the pressure cooker, but there are a lot of irons in the fire that I need you to put out.”

“You know I’m on it,” Kaede says simply, checking his tablet.

“Okay, I’ll send you Violet’s contact info so you can check in with her on what needs to be done. I’m sure Archie and Abi have that under control, but backup couldn’t hurt. We’ve got the Johnston meeting in three days. Everything prepped there?” He nods, and I know I could do that presentation in my sleep, which is a good thing because my schedule just blew up with all the additional tasks.

“Need to book a honeymoon. It’s a sham, but no reason we can’t have some fun. Hawaii, maybe? Clear my schedule for those days too.”

Kaede is tapping away, and I trust that he’s got everything. He’s that good.

Before Kaede can comment, my phone rings and I pick it up to see Abi calling. “Go on . . . you do your stuff and I’ll do my end of things. And get yourself a better tablet. On me!”