More Than Words(52)

But she wasn’t.





51



That night, Nina headed over to campaign headquarters at nine thirty. Rafael had changed the time on her, asking her to wait until the new speechwriter went home so he wouldn’t feel like Rafael didn’t like his work. Nina thought it was kind of Rafael. But it also meant that a lot of the office would be gone by the time Nina got there. She’d have to schedule another visit if she wanted to see the whole team.

Nina’s key card didn’t work anymore, so she texted Rafael to let her in. He was wearing a T-shirt that said: Hedgehogs: Why don’t they just share the hedge? Nina laughed when she saw it. Rafael flashed a megawatt smile at her.

“Funny, right?” he asked.

“Funny,” she confirmed. She’d forgotten just how handsome he was. Just how good it made her feel to walk next to him.

They sat down in the conference room off the elevator lobby, and even though in some ways it seemed like nothing had changed in the last three weeks, everything had. Nina wasn’t a staffer anymore. Now she and Rafael were equals. Now they were friends. She opened up her laptop and showed him her notes.

“Here’s what I was thinking,” she said. “We take away this part about the benefits of magnet schools that reads as a bit generic, and instead we replace it with your own experiences at Bronx Science. And maybe we contrast your experience with your cousin Kevin’s, about how you ended up in law school, and he ended up in prison.”

Rafael scratched the stubble on his chin. “You think we’re okay focusing on the Irish side of my family? I know that being the first Latino mayor is something Mac wants to message. We’ve been sticking to the refugee script, Operation Peter Pan, the bootstraps, the Spanish.”

Nina looked at him. The notion struck her that underneath his T-shirt, he was naked. Which of course he was. Everyone was naked under their clothing. But once the thought was in her mind, Nina got stuck on it.

“Do you really think Kevin is a good idea?” Rafael continued.

Nina hadn’t realized seeing him again would be this hard, this distracting. “Well,” she said, forcing herself to refocus. “What do you want to message? How do you want to be known?” She knew bringing up his cousin Kevin was a risk. Perhaps one she wouldn’t have suggested if she were still working for the campaign. Maybe one that wouldn’t have occurred to her if she hadn’t remembered the day her mother told her that she was half Lukas, too. “If you want to be known as the first Latino mayor and nothing else, we can scrap Kevin. But if you don’t . . . you’re in the general now. It’s your chance to show the voters who you are.”

Rafael looked at her. “This is why we need you back,” he said.

Nina laughed.

“No, I’m serious,” he said. “No one has asked me that. They’ve just told me how they think I’ll best win elections. What part of me it makes sense to showcase to gain votes. You make me think, Nina.”

Nina looked at him seriously. “I did that, too, though. I focused your speeches on what Mac wanted. We crafted your political persona out of pieces of who you were, stressing some aspects of your biography and ignoring others.”

“So why aren’t you anymore?” Rafael asked her, resting his chin in his hand, his eyes focused on only her.

Their intensity made her shiver. “I’ve been thinking about that since my dad died,” Nina said, bringing her thoughts together as the words exited her mouth, “and . . . I don’t know if that’s the best way to live a life. It might be the best way to win an election or create a . . . I don’t know . . . an urban legend. But is it the best way to live?”

Rafael got up from his spot across the table from her and sat down in the seat next to Nina. “What happened?” he asked. He was so close now. Close enough to touch. She wouldn’t touch him, though.

Nina looked back at the document in front of her. “We should finish this speech,” she said.

Rafael studied her. Nina felt like she was under a microscope. “Let’s do two versions,” he finally said. “One using both sides of my heritage, and one just the Cuban side. I’ll think about how I want to be known tonight and I’ll decide tomorrow.”

Nina nodded. It wasn’t a snap decision, what you would share with the world and what you wouldn’t, how you wanted people to see you.





52



By eleven they had two working drafts. Nothing perfect, but getting there. And Nina had gotten used to sitting next to him, could ignore the heat they seemed to create.

“Are you hungry?” Rafael asked after they’d hammered out a paragraph about bilingual education and the benefits it would give to all New York City students.

Nina realized she was ravenous. She nodded. “Want to order something in?” she asked.

“How about a quick burger next door?” Rafael countered. “The kitchen’s open for another hour.”

Nina rolled her neck. “I’m afraid if we leave, we might not make it back,” she said.

Rafael ran his hand through the hair above his ear. His tell.

“What?” Nina asked.

Rafael smiled. “You always know,” he said. Then: “I was going to suggest that maybe you could come back tomorrow night.”