More Than This (More Than, #1)(58)

Jake


I’m being held back by Logan and Cam as I watch that * get down on one knee, with a f*cking ring in his hand, holding hers, asking the girl that I love, to marry him.

And I can’t do shit about it.

Her eyes are shut, and when she opens them, she says something to him. He stands up wiping his f*cking face. She says something else and he looks to the ground, nodding, and then they leave.

They walk away from this place and leave.

And I have no idea what the f*ck just happened.


***


It’s 3 in the goddamn morning and she’s still not in her room. I should know, because that’s where I am, waiting for her.

Like an abandoned f*cking puppy.


Finally, I hear a car door slam and I rush to look outside. She pays the cab driver and starts her way upstairs.

She has to know I’m here because the lights on.

When she opens the door, she pauses when she sees me, then walks past me, like I’m not even f*cking here.

She gets in the shower, and 5 minutes later she’s out, dressed in pajamas and crawls into bed.

“Are you going to marry that *?” I ask, because I need to know, so that I can prepare my head for the moment she breaks my heart.

“No, Jake, I’m not.”

Thank f*ck.

“So what the f*ck? You just leave? Don’t bother calling? You didn’t bring your phone with you. Where were you all night, Kayla? Did you f*ck him? For old times sake? Just one last hurrah?”

She starts crying and I know I’m being a dick.

I calm myself down a little.

“I really want to feel okay about all of this, Kayla. But I don’t know what the f*ck is going on. You have to tell me something.”

“What? Like you tell me?” she spits out.

“What do you mean?”

“Marisa?”

Fuck.

“You didn’t tell me you had a supermodel girlfriend that was supposed to be your prom date. Instead you end up with me. The stupid girl who’s boyfriend had been screwing her best friend for two years and was too f*cking clueless to know. And you take pity on me and hang out with me. Then my f*cking family are murdered, I have no one, so now you’re stuck with some strange girl sleeping in your f*cking bed, taking over your f*cking life and you can’t get f*cking rid of me.” She wants to yell but she’s keeping it together.

“She wasn’t my girlfriend,” I whisper.

She laughs once. “That’s it? That’s all you have to f*cking say?”

I start to speak but she cuts me off. “We talked,” she says, exhausted. “James and I, we talked. That’s all. He asked my dad permission to marry me. I didn’t know. I wanted to know what my dad had said to him, because I need a memory of him, of them, of my family. Because I’m starting to forget them…” Her voice breaks as tears flow and a sob overcomes her entire body.

“I feel like I’m starting to forget them, Jake, like they’re fading away and I don’t want that. What your mom did with this room… for me, I felt like they were here with me. I could even smell the memories in my blankets and clothes. But it’s all going. The memories are fading and sometimes…” she stops, closes her eyes and takes a breath… “sometimes, when I close my eyes, I can’t see them anymore, and I don’t want to forget them. He helped me remember them, Jake. That’s all.”

I crawl into bed with her and tuck her head under my chin.

“You’ll never forget them, Kayla. They’ll always live in your heart.”

Its quiet for the longest time as she cries quietly into me. When the sounds stop and I think she’s fallen asleep, she whispers, “Jake, when we get to the house, I’m going to find a job, and then I’m moving out. I can’t be this broken girl anymore.”


I don’t say anything, because f*ck, what can I say? It’s the last thing I ever wanted.


Chapter 35


Mikayla


Moving day.

It would be an understatement to say that things have been awkward between Jake and I since the night of the bonfire.

Now, we’ll be living together until I can save up enough money to move out.

I want to tell him that it’s not because of him, but because of me. That I don’t want to feel like our circumstances are the only reason we feel the way we feel for each other, If he feels anything for me at all.


I had organized for movers to take some of the furniture from storage to the house. Mandy was there to oversee it all.

After some very tearful goodbyes and a billion ‘thank yous’ from me to Mandy and Nathan, I went to say goodbye to Julie.

She’d been in her room most of the day. I guess she wasn’t very happy about us leaving. I had gotten close to Julie over the last couple of months. She didn’t replace Emily, but she came pretty close.


I wanted to give her a special gift, so I had written her her own fairytale and got it professionally illustrated.

It was about a little girl who was a Princess, of course.

She wore a cape, as part of her costume, because she believed that one day, she’d be able fly and dance in the clouds.

Her older brother, the Prince, was a secret superhero, who went around at night saving the world, in his baseball gear, of course. His powers came from his right hand. He would raise it to the sky and the sun would beam down on it. His hand held the strength of a thousand men. The Queen and King, her parents, were also heroes, but not your normal, everyday ones. They were the kind that loved and cared for those that didn’t have anyone else to love and care for them.