More Than Lies (More Than #1)(114)

“Tell me what happened tonight . . . well, last night. Tell me your side of it, Shawn.” He picks up his own mug, takes a sip, and then waits. I down the rest of my black coffee before I tell him everything I couldn’t tell Jacob an hour ago.

He’s going to hate me. I would.

Through two more cups of coffee and a plate of food, I tell my dad everything. I don’t leave anything out. I lay it all on the table, from when I started pulling away from Tara after overhearing Jared tell her he loved her, deciding she shouldn’t be with me, and how I had planned on breaking up with her. I tell him about Holly screwing up my damn plan, making it much worse than it should have been. How I didn’t come clean, letting Tara believe everything she said. Then I choke up, almost losing it when I tell him how I thought she was dead for several hours. How it felt like my heart stopped beating and then exploded inside my chest.

When I finish, I feel raw. It feels like it happened all over again, and reliving that shit is taking years off my life. Honestly, I’m not sure how I’m still breathing. There was a point when I wanted to die, too.

I’m not near as strong as I once thought I was.

“Why would you think for a second you don’t deserve her love?”

“I don’t know.” It sounds stupid now. “I’m not a doctor, like you and Mom or Shane. I’m not a lawyer like her dad. I don’t fit into that world.”

“For the love of God, Shawn, are you serious? Your mother and I couldn’t be prouder of the man you’re becoming if we tried. We never wanted or expected you to be someone you aren’t. You’re you, and you’re doing something you love. How many people get to go to work and actually enjoy what they do? Not many do, son. Your job doesn’t define the man you are. What’s on the inside does, and how you show the ones you love and care about does.”

“I know that, logically, but I don’t want her to ever have any regrets. I want her to have the world. I want Tara to be as happy as possible.”

He laughs. Why he’s laughing I’m not sure. I just poured my fucking heart out and my dad laughs.

“That’s love, Shawn. When someone else’s happiness and wants come before your own, that’s love. When you find that kind of love, you grab on and don’t let go.”

“So how do I fix something I set out to destroy?”

“I don’t have an answer for that, but my suggestion is to tell her the truth, and then beg her for forgiveness. If by some chance she does forgive you, don’t screw it up again.”

I need her. I have to fix this.

“Can we get out of here? I need to see, Tara.”

“Sure. I’m still in my pajamas and don’t have a wallet. You’ll have to pay for all this.” He stands and walks out the door, leaving me with the check.





It’s half past three in the morning when my dad drops me off at the curb in front of Tara’s parents’ house. My mom sent me a text when we were on the way home telling me she left with Jacob, so I asked my dad to bring me here.

I knock on the front door not knowing what to expect but praying she’s at least willing to see me.

When the door opens, Jacob is standing there with what looks to be a glass of whiskey in his hand. I get that tonight must have been hard on him too. Trent was killed only a few months back, and then to think your daughter died, too . . . That has to be rough, but I don’t have a hell of a lot of sympathy for a man that has never shown her an ounce of what my parents have with me.

Telling him this probably wouldn’t be smart, though. He is, after all, standing between me getting to her.

“I need to see her, Jacob. Please let me come in.” I’ll beg if that’s what it takes. I’ll do anything to get to her.

“You failed to tell me you broke her heart.”

“I said I messed up, didn’t I? Please let me in so I can try to fix what I screwed up.” He stares not saying a word. “Please, Jacob.”

He takes a step back, but before I enter he says, “Don’t come into this house if you’re not in love with my daughter.” I step inside, confirming my feelings for her, but I don’t say them to him.

“She deserves to hear me say that before I tell another person.”

“She’s been through a lot tonight, Shawn. Remember that when you talk to her.” He closes the door and then walks in the direction of his office. I turn, heading in the opposite direction toward the stairs.

When I reach the top and come to Tara’s bedroom door, I don’t knock. I’m too afraid if she knows it’s me standing on the other side, she’ll tell me to leave. So instead, I turn the knob and push the door open. When I’m inside, I push it closed as quietly as I can and stand there. I watch her. She’s lying on the bed, on her side with her back turned toward me. I think she’s asleep, but then she speaks.

“Dad, please leave me alone for the rest of the night. I don’t want to hear any more.”

I walk forward, and drop to my knees when I reach the bed. Placing my elbows on the mattress and entwining my fingers like I’m praying, I tell her it’s not her father.

“It’s me.” Her breathing stops as her body goes still. “I just need you to listen to me. Hear me out, and then if you want me to leave, I will.”