Method(110)

“Don’t regret it, Lucas.”

“How can I not? Look at us? Look at what happened…to Blake.” He cups the back of his head with both hands and squeezes his eyes shut, his forearms covering his face. It takes him several seconds to speak.

“I met with the woman throwing Blake’s name around the tabloids, and I lost it, Mila. I lost it. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, he—”

“Lucas,” I whisper, and his eyes shoot up to mine. “I’ve gathered my own conclusions about what went down, and I think I’m right?”

He nods.

“With respect to Blake, I know he died trying to keep his secrets, and I want to honor that. I love him enough to respect that. I know it goes against the honesty I’ve been fighting for as far as you’re concerned, and you did what you had to do. I know that. And if you want to talk about it for you—”

He shakes his head.

“Are you going to tell Amanda?”

“Maybe, probably later, but yes, I think she deserves to know.”

“Good. As hard as it will be for her to hear, she probably should.”

Chests laden with heartache, we get lost in our own thoughts.

“Mila,” he swallows audibly, his eyes drinking me in. “Are you okay?” They drift lower. “Is our baby okay?”

“We’re both perfect. It’s early. I’m only six weeks along now.”

“You think the universe answered that one for me?” he asks with a shy smile. I can see his wheels turning, and I clue him in.

“I hope not.”

He draws his brows. “Why?”

“We conceived that day in your trailer,” I say around the knot in my throat and see when the truth of it registers. “That’s one of the reasons I’ve been so angry.”

“Jesus,” he says, palming his forehead. “I’ll never forgive myself.”

“You have to,” I say, drawing his attention. “You have to, Lucas. You have to just like I have to. It’s a decision.”

He slowly nods. “When did you find out?”

“The morning of the day I told you.”

“I ruined that too.”

“That was my decision. I set you up to ruin that. You were so far gone.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I know. I am too.”

His features twist with longing. “Are you ever going to let me touch you?”

“I’m kind of waiting to see what your plans are.”

“Plans?” he rasps out in a thick voice, eyes watering. “I’m fresh out.”

“I’ve made some of my own.”

“You have?” His Adam’s apple bobs. “Okay.”

“I’m going to be a sommelier. I’m going to grow my own vines and make wine.”

He pushes out a relieved breath. “I love your plan.”

“I’m also going to take advice from a grasshopper and take life a little less seriously before summer runs out.”

“It’s good advice.”

“I loved that grasshopper,” I say as his face falls, “I really did.”

“I know,” he speaks up, his voice overcome with emotion. “God, look at you.” The admiration in his eyes steals my breath. “You’re so fucking beautiful, you’re all I’ve ever wanted. You and that baby you carry, that’s what I want, to have a family. With you I have all of it. You hold all of my hope, Mila. All of it. I can’t lose you—”

“You haven’t,” I say, dropping the flowers and crashing into him. He audibly exhales and his arms wrap tightly around me. We lock together, overwhelmed and crying.

After endless seconds, he pulls away, kissing me thoroughly, the thrust of his tongue lulling us into a peaceful reprieve from all the ache. The salty kiss sparks a healing, a beginning and we both sigh into it with collective relief. When we pull away, I bury my face in his chest, and we exchange whispers.

“Let’s get on this plan.”

I nod into his chest. “Okay, but you’re going to have to call and apologize to my mother.”

“I already have.”

“Good.”

“I mean it. Let’s leave today. Half my shit is in my truck.”

“Fine with me.”

“I’m serious, Mila. I’m done with this.”

“We’ll see.”

“You don’t think I’m done?”

“For the moment, yes, but at one point you loved it far more than you resent it now. And maybe in the future, you’ll decide you love it again.”

“Maybe, I don’t know. It feels over.”

“Well, if all else fails, in twenty years, when the baby is grown, we’ll come back under the radar as Gladys and Sean McConnery, and you can make a comeback. Let’s bounce that off into the universe and see where it lands.”

He palms my face with warm hands, grinning down at me. “I missed you so much, Dame, so much.”

“You can’t act with me, ever again, Lucas. Ever.”

“I won’t,” he says, stroking my cheeks with reverent thumbs. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”