Mercy (Salacious Players Club, #4)(27)

“No, no, no,” she stammers, shoving away from me again. In a rush, she walks farther into her house, pacing again in that erratic and panicked way she was last night. “I should say no to this. I should be the mature adult here and just say no. Oh God, how can I look Emerson in the eyes after this?”

Slowly, I follow behind her, my heart pounding wildly in my chest. I’ve never felt so desperate for someone in my life. And I could argue with her, tell her exactly why she should do this, but I’ve never been all that great with words.

So I use actions instead.

With her back to me, still in a state of panic and her chest heaving from the intensity of our kiss, I keep my eyes on her as I slowly lower to my knees.

“Maggie.”

When she finally turns around to face me, she lets out the tiniest gasp. Her gaze sweeps over my body appreciatively. She clearly likes to see me this way, even if she tries to hide it. “What are you doing?”

“If you don’t want me to touch you, I won’t. If you do want me to touch you, I will.”

Her lips are parted as she stares at me, and I can practically see the ideas brewing behind those eyes.

“You told me I couldn’t be submissive, remember? That I was too stubborn. Well, here you go. I’m being submissive.”

“To get laid,” she replies, making it sound like an accusation.

“I just told you. You’re in charge. If you don’t want to have sex, then we won’t have sex. But…we both found something on that app that made us curious enough to get into this mess. It’d be a waste to let that go now.”

“Beau…” she says with gentleness. There’s something about the way she says my name that sends a wave of pleasure down my spine. Even when she does it with impatience or as a warning. “But you hate kink. You didn’t talk to your father for six months because he owned a sex club, and now you want me to be your Domme. This is all built on trust, and I don’t know if I can trust you.”

“You can trust me,” I argue. “I don’t understand this any more than you, but all I know is that I want to see this through—with you.”

Since I see her about to argue again, and I’m learning that she is beyond persistent, I decide to throw in a pity plea.

“I suck with women, Maggie. I never say the right thing. Never do the right thing. Never react the way they want and I’m just fucking lost. At least with you, if I fuck up, you can punish me for it. Otherwise, I’m here to do exactly what you want. Maybe I’ll learn how to be less of an asshole to women. Maybe with your help, I won’t end up alone.”

Her shoulders soften. “Oh, God, Beau… Am I seriously considering this?”

I watch as she covers her face with her hands, clearly grappling with her morality in this situation. Finally, she lifts her hands away and stares at me. “All right. Fine. We can learn together, but it’s strictly a learning experience.”

I smile, but she quickly adds, “Absolutely no sex.”

“Yes, ma’am,” I respond, feeling a little hopeful that that rule will eventually change.

“And no one can know about this. No one.”

“I won’t tell a soul.”

With a tense expression, she stares at me. “We’ll have to go over some rules and limits. If we’re going to do this, we have to do it right.”

I smile, and I see the way it almost makes her break. But before letting hers slip through, she looks away. “Just get off the floor.”

Obediently, I stand.

“I’m going to hire you to help me out around the house, painting and repairs. If anyone asks.”

I nod.

“You’ll start tomorrow. Nine a.m.”

Biting my bottom lip, I nod again. As much as I’d love to be back to where we were a minute ago, with my hand up her skirt, this is almost more exciting—the unknown waiting around the corner.

With that, I turn and head toward the front door, barely able to contain my grin now. But just as my hand finds the knob, she throws in one more command.

“Oh, and, Beau…”

I turn toward her expectantly.

“No coming until I tell you to.”

My brow furrows. “What?”

Closing the distance between us, she steps closer. Only a few feet away, she adds, “You heard me. I don’t want you masturbating or touching yourself at all tonight. And I’ll know if you do.”

The blood in my veins suddenly feels like lava. “How will you know?”

“Because this is based on trust, and if we’re going to do this, then you can’t lie to me.”

“Is this a punishment?” I ask.

“No. It’s dominance. This is what you’re signing up for. But if you’re good tomorrow, maybe you’ll get a reward.”

My eyebrows shoot up. “But I thought you said—"

“No sex.” Then she shrugs. “But there are other things.”

My mouth is hanging open as she reaches around me to pull open the front door. She’s making it very fucking hard to leave now. And maybe with any other woman, I would just take control. Carry her to the bedroom and make her come so many times, she changes her mind. But that’s not what we’re doing here. And that’s not the point.