Lovely Girls(84)

“That’s definitely progress. What’s your friend’s name?”

“Isabel. She’s nice. And her friends are pretty cool too. None of them seem to care that I was a murder suspect, like, five minutes ago.” Alex waved her hand. “Now everyone’s talking about Daphne and Shae. There’s a rumor going around that Shae may take a plea deal to testify against Daphne.”

“If she did, you’d only have to testify at one trial, instead of two.”

“It doesn’t seem right. Shae is just as guilty of killing Callie as Daphne is. And everyone’s acting like she’s a victim, just because Daphne’s so terrible.”

Beatrice nodded sympathetically. “It’s probably easier for people to see Daphne as the leader in the relationship, and Shae as the subordinate who was following orders, than to acknowledge that two girls could both be that destructive. And it’s human nature to make excuses for behavior we can’t understand. I can see why that would be frustrating for you, especially considering that you were there. And you saw what they did.”

“They’re both evil,” Alex said flatly. “No one should make excuses for either one of them. Shae and Daphne both deserve to rot in jail for the rest of their lives.”

“Maybe,” Beatrice replied. “But I like to think that people can change. That those two girls could still turn their lives around and become productive members of society.”

“You sound like my mom,” Alex said.

“You don’t agree?”

“No. I think they should be locked up somewhere where they can’t ever hurt anyone ever again.”

“It’s okay that you feel that way. And it’s okay if you change your mind over time.”

Alex shrugged. “It’s not like it’s up to me whether or not they go to prison.”

“How are things going with your mom?”

“We’ve been getting along. I guess in the end all we needed was for someone to break into the house and try to kill her to bring us together.”

Alex smiled, but Bridget did not return it. Her brow creased with concern, and Alex’s smile faded.

“Sorry, bad joke,” Alex said.

Beatrice dipped her head. “How is she feeling?”

“She’s better. Some of her movement is still limited, but the doctor said that’s normal. She decided to open a consignment store here, and she’s still dating that guy.”

“How do you feel about her dating?” Beatrice asked.

“Actually, it’s fine. It doesn’t bother me as much as I thought it would. Joe’s nice. He’s been helping out.”

“It’s good that you’re open to the change,” Beatrice commented.

“Well, I’m going off to college next year. My mom’s going to be on her own, so I can’t exactly tell her not to have a life, right? I don’t know.” Alex shrugged and lifted her hands in front of her. “I’m just rolling with it.”

“Have you thought any more about what we talked about during our last session? We were discussing that you might talk to your mom about what happened on the day of the car accident.”

Alex’s smile vanished. She leaned back in her seat and crossed her arms in front of her.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. Especially after everything that’s happened the past few months. She’s still recovering from being stabbed.”

“I think you should give her a chance,” Beatrice said. “She might surprise you.”

“I know my mom wants the best for me. But she also wants me to just be a normal teen doing normal teen things. She doesn’t need to know what happened that day.”

“When I spoke to your mom, back when you first started seeing me, she was hoping your memory would come back. She thought it would help you heal and move on from the accident,” Beatrice reminded Alex.

“I do remember. I just haven’t told her.”

“Maybe it would help her understand what happened.”

But Alex shook her head resolutely. “She doesn’t need to hear that my dad screamed at me until there was spittle flying out of his mouth. That he ranted that I would never have what it takes to be a professional tennis player. That he was ashamed of me.” Alex’s voice grew louder and sharper. She stopped and shook her head once. “No, she doesn’t need to hear any of that.”

Beatrice tipped her head to one side, her expression sympathetic. “I’m sorry that’s your last memory of him. I’m sure he didn’t mean what he said. That he was just speaking in anger.”

“I think he meant every word. I was a disappointment to him. But he disappointed me too.”

“Your father was a very troubled man. I keep telling you, no one is all good or all bad. Everyone’s a shade of gray.”

“I screamed back at him. I told him I wished he were dead. And I meant it.” Alex looked down, her expression troubled.

“You’re not the first teenager to say that to a parent,” Beatrice said gently.

“Yeah? And how many teenagers watch a traffic light turn red, and instead of stopping, they speed up? Because that’s exactly what I did that day.”

“It’s not that simple,” Beatrice said. “You’re framing it as though you were acting out a violent impulse. I think you were trying to self-harm that day.”