Love on Beach Avenue(42)

She nodded, touched by the naked vulnerability on his face. “I understand. You made the hard choices for her, and it all worked out in the end.”

“But I lost a part of myself through it, too. That part that skipped over being a rebellious, selfish teenager to find my own dreams. I have no regrets, and I’m not whining about it, but sometimes, like tonight, I want to do something silly and crazy for me. I guess I was just trying to drag you into it. Stupid, right?”

Her axis shifted as a piece of the puzzle snapped into place. Suddenly, his words made sense. He hadn’t chosen his role. The death of his parents had forced it on him, and instead of rebelling or not accepting responsibility, he’d quietly stepped in to take care of Ally. He wasn’t allowed to be the crazy older brother any longer, who allowed her to stay up late, or hid her drinking at a party, or hung out with her boyfriends. No, he’d chosen to be someone else—a man who was capable of raising a ten-year-old girl in the best way possible.

Maybe Carter Ross had a wilder soul than she originally believed. He’d just never had the opportunity to show it.

“Come on, let’s go.” He dropped her hand and began walking toward the car, but she stepped in front of him to block his path.

“The same thing happened to me,” she blurted out. “I can’t remember the last time I broke any rules, or did something crazy fun just for the hell of it. All I do is work and take care of my clients and build the business. I have no regrets, either. I’m exactly where I should be. But sometimes I want . . .”

“A spark,” he finished. “To feel alive.”

“Yes. So we’re going to sneak onto the beach. Follow me.”

She grabbed his hand back, and they ran down the path. She picked the entrance on the south side that was always less crowded and away from the main center of town. A flimsy wooden gate snaked its way around the edge of the beach, and the entrance was barred by a low chain with a sign that said NO TRESPASSING! BEACH CLOSED FROM 9:00 P.M. TO 6:00 A.M. SUBJECT TO FINE!

A thrill tingled through her. They looked back and forth, but the path was deserted, and there was nothing but the sound of the waves crashing over the shore. They ducked under the chain, took their shoes off, and ran toward the water.

A laugh burst from her lips. It was such a little thing, sneaking onto the beach, but she was suddenly pumped with adrenaline. She snuck a glance at Carter and caught the same satisfied expression on his face, shadowed in moonlight. They reached the shoreline and slowed their pace. She rolled up the legs of her jeans and hooked her sandals over her fingers. Her toes curled into the packed, firm sand, the bite of cold water tickling her flesh and flirting with her ankles. The air was sharp and clean. The stars spilled over a black velvet canvas, highlighted by a heavy, ripe half-moon hanging low.

“I used to do this with my sisters,” she said, breaking the comfortable silence. “We’d sneak out at bedtime and come to the beach. Sometimes we’d meet boys, sometimes it’d be just us. Bella loved to swim, but then I’d hum the Jaws tune, and she’d get scared and run out.”

“Mean,” he said with a laugh. “Were the three of you always close?”

“Yes. We’d have the usual fights over clothes and who borrowed what, and who was Mom and Dad’s favorite, but it never passed the barrier into cruelty. We loved each other, but like in all families, we got stuck with certain tags.”

His fingers brushed hers and lingered. He’d pushed up the cuffs of his shirtsleeves to bare sinewy arms. He stood close, his hips pressed lightly against hers, their feet almost touching. “What kind of tags?” he asked.

“I was the oldest, so my mother was always pushing responsibility at me. I think that’s another reason I wanted to go to college at Georgetown. I needed space to grow and play on my own. I was the practical one. The leader of the group, as my parents would say. Bella was the beauty—my dad calls her Goldilocks. She fell in love, got married early, and wanted a ton of kids to raise. Poor Taylor got stuck with the rebellious tag. The troublemaker. She was always asking questions and challenging them at every turn. Drove them crazy. She has a wanderer’s heart and always wanted to travel the world on her own terms. After Matt died, we all pulled together to manage the business, and then my parents retired. Taylor got stuck here longer than she wanted.”

“Will she stay?”

She shook her head. “I hope not. She promised to give us another year here, and then she’s off. I don’t think the wedding business is for her. But she wanted to prove to my parents that she could do the right thing.”

He let out a long sigh. “It’s funny how we become the way others perceive us. It starts with families, goes into school, social media, everywhere. No wonder everyone’s on antianxiety meds and desperate to be happy. We don’t know who we are anymore.”

His words stirred deep inside her, touching a part that had been long buried and forgotten. She turned sideways and tilted her chin up. “You’re right. Maybe more people need to sneak onto a beach and figure it out.”

He smiled. God, he was so different like this. Open and relaxed, bare feet in the sand, his face emanating a sexy warmth that heated her blood. The vast quiet and isolation around them lent itself to sharing secrets and being reckless. She moved closer on impulse, angling her body so she could study the sharp curve of his jaw, the stubble hugging his lips, the mysterious, misty depths of his eyes. His dark hair blew in the breeze, tumbling over his forehead. Her nipples tightened and pushed against her flimsy shirt, and suddenly her body ached for something more . . . something to fill the emptiness. It had been so long since she’d felt like this. Alive, and free, and hungry to experience something wonderful and new.