Love in the Time of Serial Killers
Alicia Thompson
For my sister Brittany
because I love you, and because you get it
AUTHOR’S NOTE
This story contains some themes of grief, memories of a neglected/emotionally abusive childhood, and past suicidal ideation. While there are many true crime references throughout, there is no on-the-page violence or active killing in this book.
ONE
OBVIOUSLY A TWO-HUNDRED-POUND Victorian writing desk wasn’t made to be moved all by yourself. But it also hadn’t come with those incomprehensible IKEA instructions showing a blocky illustrated guy getting help from a buddy, so. There wasn’t anything saying not to try it.
I took a step back, assessing the desk where it was strapped to the roof of my car. It was the only piece of furniture I’d brought with me, and it was a monstrosity. My old landlord in North Carolina had helped me load it onto my car in the first place, and it had been the reason I’d made the drive to Florida in one straight shot, stopping only briefly at rest areas and a Taco Bell in Starke.
If I undid the straps, it was possible the desk would slide right off the car. I had an image of trying to catch it and ending up flattened into a pancake like a cartoon character under a piano. But I could brace it against my body, maybe, ease it to the ground. Then I could penguin-walk it up the driveway to the house.
I turned to survey my dad’s old house, which had been sitting empty for the last six months, since he’d died back in January. I guessed it was my and my little brother’s house now, technically. But this house hadn’t felt like mine since the day my mother and I had moved out when I was thirteen, maybe not since before then.
My brother, Conner, could still be awake, even though my phone screen showed that it was already two in the morning. He’d always been a big gamer, and would stay up all hours trying a level one more time or trying to beat the last boss. But that had been before he and Shani had moved in together, before he’d gotten his first postcollege job at a call center. And anyway, I wasn’t going to text him to come help me with something as stupid as a desk.
Conner and I weren’t that close. We’d barely grown up together, for one thing—when our parents divorced, he’d chosen to stay with our dad, while I’d gone with our mom. He was also seven years younger, twenty-three to my thirty, although that fact alone couldn’t fully explain his optimistic exuberance in contrast to my jaded cynicism. We’d spent time together during holidays and select weekends, of course, but still when I thought of him I mostly remembered the way he would eat ketchup by the bowlful when he was six years old.
I typed how to move heavy furniture by yourself into a search on my phone, and scrolled through the results. Ads for moving companies, an article about how to use moving straps and dollies and other equipment I didn’t have, another couple of articles that basically boiled down to don’t.
“Need a hand?” a voice came from behind me, and I jumped and gave a little scream. My phone flew out of my hand and hit the pavement with a sickening crack.
I spun around, coming face-to-face with the random dude who’d spoken. He was standing on the sidewalk, a decent distance away from me, but still. He’d come out of nowhere. He had dark, shaggy hair and was wearing jeans and a T-shirt that had a huge rip in the collar. When I glanced down, I saw that his feet were bare.
“What the fuck?” I said, as much about the bare feet as about the fact that he’d addressed me at all.
He took a step backward, as if he were scared of me, and shoved his hands deep into his pockets. “It just seemed . . .”
“Well, it’s not,” I snapped. I reached down to pick up my phone, which, yup, totally had a cracked screen now. Great. My search results for how to move heavy furniture by yourself glowed brightly through the spiderweb of lines, and I had the irrational thought that he’d totally seen them, that they’d called him here like some sort of Bat-Signal to creepy nocturnal dudes looking to accost isolated women in the suburbs.
And now he knew where I lived. I was tempted to get back in the car, to drive to a local gas station and sit in the parking lot for one full podcast episode, then circle the block a few times before pulling into the driveway again. Although, to be fair, it was probably the podcast episodes that were making me so paranoid in the first place. I could rationally recognize that with one part of my brain while the other part of my brain screamed, This is the exact scenario two post-Evanescence goth podcasters will one day use for their cold open.
“This isn’t my home,” I blurted.
He blinked at me, obviously confused. The more he stood there in his stupid bare feet, the more harmless he seemed. He was only a few inches taller than me, I realized. And he probably weighed less, all wiry and lean where I was curvier.
But wasn’t that exactly how guys like him broke through your defenses? By appearing helpful, like the Zodiac Killer telling you your wheel was wobbling and offering to “fix” it for you, only to sabotage your car and take you hostage. Or by appearing helpless, like Ted Bundy with his fake casts, needing help carrying something to his car.
Fuck that. I’d rather be seen as a little rude than risk being taken to a second location.
He gestured toward the desk. “That looks heavy,” he said.