Love Me (WITSEC #3)(58)

I couldn’t look away as memories of Shayla’s blood rolling down her neck and chest tried to overwhelm me. I squeezed Colt’s and Creed’s hands and I worked to calm myself down. I focused on the sound of my breathing as I made myself inhale deeply and exhale slowly through my nose.

“Babe?” Colt said at the same time Creed said, “Shi?”

Suddenly, a hand went over my eyes, and I was picked up.

“Where are you guys going?” I heard Isabelle say.

“Guys?” I said as they carried me somewhere that was dark and a little bit quieter.

When I was set down, my eyes were uncovered, and I realized we were in the hall leading to Knox’s room.

“You okay?” Colt asked. Both him and Creed stared at me, worry etched around their eyes.

I nodded. “Yeah. I had it under control, but you whisking me away was…effective. I was caught off guard a little. I was expecting costumes, but I hadn’t been expecting that.”

“She might not be the only one who shows up like that,” Creed said.

“Now that I know to expect that, I should be all right,” I said.

They looked like they weren’t so sure.

I grabbed their hands. “If it becomes too much for me, I’ll go hang out with Knox and Keelan for the rest of the night.”

“Okay, babe.” Colt said and the three of us headed back to the party.

I noticed some of the caution tape had been ripped down as we left it. Rushing to get me somewhere else, they must have yanked it out of the way. Creed bent to pick up the pieces of caution tape off the ground and proceeded to put them back up.

Isabelle was waiting in the kitchen with two mixed drinks in each of her hands. She held one out to me. Her gaze traveled over us. “Everything okay?”

I took the drink. “Yes.”

I can do this.





17





As the night continued on, more and more people showed up, and some of them were just as creative with their costume makeup as the girl with the ripped-out throat.

I made sure I looked at them all. I didn’t want to, but I knew that I had to. So I made a game of it. Take in their bloody costume, keep my breathing deep and slow, while trying to figure out if I recognized who they were from school. Did I have a class with them? I took in their smiles and laughter as they interacted with others. I made myself see that they were alive. As I did this, the more times I crossed paths with someone dressed horrifically, the easier it became to detach from the fear—from what seeing the fake blood and gore reminded me of.

During all this, Colt and Creed never left my side. Recognizing that I was fighting to win something tonight, Isabelle always made sure I had a drink in my hand. It was as if she knew I needed an advantage. An unhealthy one, but an advantage nonetheless. Feeling the warm buzz of alcohol did help ease some of my anxiety.

Now that the party was in full swing, I was a tad bit tipsy and, honestly, feeling triumphant. Tonight felt like a huge step forward. After my failure last night, I hadn’t wanted to admit that I’d had doubts about tonight. I was proud of myself for pushing through that doubt. Some of this could be the booze talking, but I was happy. Probably the happiest I’d been in a long time. Not only that, I was optimistic. I could do this. I was on the right path and maybe for once, after being so lost for so long, I could allow myself to envision a future.

Isabelle and I had claimed a spot to dance in the living room and hadn’t left that spot for a handful of songs. I was smiling and laughing and just enjoying having fun with her.

“I think you’re becoming my best friend,” I shouted over the music.

Isabelle grabbed my hands and together we moved to the beat of “Don’t Start Now” by Dua Lipa. “I think you’re becoming my best friend, too,” she shouted back and spun me.

I laughed and spun her next. As the song ended, another began and I was ready for another drink. “I’m going to get a beer. Do you want one?”

She shook her head as she danced. I started weaving through the crowd of dancing bodies. I spotted Colt and Creed by the opened deck doors, their eyes following me as they talked to their friends. I gestured that I was getting a drink with my hand by my mouth.

Colt moved to come with me, but I waved him off and shook my head. “I’m fine,” I mouthed, and he nodded.

I squeezed past people to get into the kitchen and over to the fridge. I didn’t have the patience to make a mixed drink and it was probably best to switch to beer anyway. I was a little past the point of being buzzed and I didn’t want to ruin tonight by getting trashed.

Opening the fridge, I pulled out a beer. I stood there for a moment, sipping it and letting myself cool off a little. It got hot dancing.

I people-watched. I was happy to not see Cassy, Amber, or Gabe here. They hadn’t been invited, but I wouldn’t have put it past them to crash.

My gaze drifted to the hall that led to Knox’s room and I began wondering about him and Keelan. Taking my beer with me, I ducked under the caution tape and went down the hall to the door that led to his room.

I walked in without knocking and both looked in my direction, ready to yell at me like I was an intruder. Neither of them had moved from the spots I’d last seen them in. Which reminded me of our conversation we’d had before. Keelan wanted me and he would have taken me in front of Knox if I’d let him.