Lies of My Monster: A Dark Mafia Romance(53)

What the hell?

I want to deny those thoughts and shove them where no one can see, but as I step out, my heart thunders louder, harder, and with so much intensity, I think I’ll faint.

After trying and failing to control my illogical reaction, I head to the sitting area opposite the bed.

My shoulders drop when I find no trace of him.

Did he go to the office? But it’s late, and I’m sure that even he needs some downtime before he gets back to business.

Sometimes, I wonder if he’s a machine. It feels as if he was trained to always give two hundred percent of his attention and energy. That if he gives anything less, it’s an insult to his intelligence and capabilities.

But surely, he realizes how damaging that rhythm can be long-term. I don’t think he cares, though. I’m the only one who does.

I grab my phone from the nightstand and check my messages. My heart nearly leaps out of my throat when I find his name at the top of my notifications.

Kirill: I’m out on an errand. Get some rest. You’re off tomorrow.

I let myself fall on the mattress, chest inflating with the heavy weight of disappointment.

What type of errand could he have this late in the evening? He already had his meeting with the Pakhan, so what is this, and most importantly, why am I not part of it?

I pace the length of the room for what seems like an hour, then stare out of the window at the main entrance for another half an hour. When the car doesn’t show up, I text Maksim and Yuri but get no reply.

Does that mean they’re on whatever this errand is?

I glare at the phone. Why do they get to take part in it and I don’t? Besides, how could Kirill throw himself in danger’s way again after we barely escaped this day’s predicaments?

The fear I had when I woke up in that damn basement creeps back in me from all directions. If Kirill gets hurt and I’m not there to protect him, I’ll never forgive myself.

I lie down on the bed and try to expel those thoughts, but they continue haunting me in the form of gruesome images.

Shootings. Bombs. Snipers.

Stop it.

I lunge into a standing position and do over a hundred push-ups. Then I shower again, but this time, I let the cold water turn my skin blue. It does nothing to quench the fire inside me.

And Kirill is still not here.

My attention is divided between the door, my phone that has no new text messages, and the clock on the wall that’s now ticking past two in the morning.

Just when I think I’m going insane, the door softly opens. I jump up at the same time Kirill walks inside.

A low gasp leaves me when I catch a glimpse of blood splashed on his shirt, his neck, and face. Some form a blurry red smear on his glasses, probably from when he wiped them.

He strides inside with his usual leisure, not paying attention to all the blood that’s been the theme for the night.

Upon seeing me, he pauses and narrows his eyes slightly. I run to him and force myself to stop before I hug him or do something equally idiotic.

“What…what happened?” I can’t look away from the blood. I really, really hate that fucking stuff. Call me superstitious, but whenever I see it, I get a horrible feeling.

I probably shouldn’t have been in the army or the mafia. In hindsight, those two are terrible career choices.

But then again, I only get this hectic when those I care about are injured, specifically Kirill.

“Nothing much.” He casually removes his jacket and throws it on a nearby chair. “I only took care of some unfinished business.”

“What unfinished business?”

“Whatever remained of the Albanians’ nests. What are you doing up? I specifically told you to rest.”

“As if I could do that when you disappeared in the middle of the night. And don’t change the subject. You went after the rest of the Albanians on your own?”

“That’s what I said. But I wasn’t alone; Viktor, Yuri, and Maksim came along. I invited Damien, too. And while it was tedious to witness him laugh like a maniac the entire time, including him in action, it makes him owe me. We blew up their hideout and killed whoever didn’t die.”

“But why would you do that? Their other branches might come after you.”

“Let them. They’ll meet the same fate.”

“That’s not how it works, Kirill! You’re not the type who starts wars without a reason.”

“That’s where you’re wrong. I have a perfectly solid reason.”

“And what is that, I wonder?”

“They hurt you, and that’s enough incentive for war. I couldn’t be there to stop them. What I could do, however, is finish every last one of them.”

I think my heart is about to explode. That, or I’m having some form of heart issues that need to be checked.

How can he…render me speechless with a few words? Just how can he make me feel so cherished with a small sentence?

My voice softens. “I’m thankful for that, but as I said before, being the reason behind your problems brings me no joy. I don’t want you to collect enemies just because of me.”

“I only hear that you’re thankful. Everything else is redundant.”

“But—”

He jams his index finger against my mouth, causing me to shut up mid-objection.

“I don’t want to hear whatever you have to say, because it’ll only piss me off, and, considering the amount of anger and adrenaline in my system, I might react drastically toward that.” He releases a charged breath and removes his finger. “Today has been a long fucking day, so why don’t you go to sleep?”