Lies of My Monster: A Dark Mafia Romance(50)

I should be angry that she even has this much of a read on me, but I’m strangely not.

Far from it.

“If you know that…” I slide my fingers up her back, enjoying the tremors that break out on her skin and the slight parting of her lips. “Why are you still asking?”

“I won’t understand if you don’t tell me. Is it something I’ve done?”

“What do you think?”

“I think it is. I just don’t know what I’ve done. No matter how many times I replay the events in my head, I come up empty. Besides, you said I did everything I could, so I’m lost here.”

“I said. You went fucking beyond.”

Her eyes widen, and I can see the exact moment she seems to understand the entire situation. “Oh.”

Fucking oh.

My hand slides from her back and I wrap it around her throat, feeling her frantic pulse point beneath my fingers. “What did I say about being a martyr, Sasha?”

“I wasn’t…I was there with Viktor and Vladislav…”

“What the fuck did I say?”

“That I shouldn’t be one, but I wasn’t. I was just doing my duty of being your bodyguard.”

“Fuck that nonsense. If you were so serious about such duties, you would’ve listened when I ordered you to stay by my fucking side.”

“But I had to cover you!”

“Viktor did that.”

“How is Viktor different from me? He can throw away his life, and I can’t? We share the same position, so I shouldn’t be scrutinized for performing the same actions he does. You’re being unreasonable right now.”

“I’m unreasonable? What about being kidnapped, assaulted, and nearly raped after having your true gender revealed in front of Rai? Is that perfectly reasonable?”

“How…did you know she figured it out?”

“I suspected it when you were talking and disgustingly smiling at each other, but I confirmed it just now when you mentioned she helped you. I’m going to take a wild guess and say she witnessed you being stripped down.”

She swallows. “She called me Aleksander afterward. I think she’ll keep the secret.”

“If you believe Rai won’t use this information against us, you’re sorely fucking mistaken.”

She shakes her head, and the sad part is that she seems to actually have faith in Rai. Maybe I should plot her assassination anyway. She has a lot of elements to threaten me with, and while that’s a disadvantage to me, it’s a ticking bomb to her life.

If I fall, I’m handcuffing her with me on the way down.

I’ll start with the secret she’s been trying to hide from the organization.

I might have to take drastic measures for this. All because fucking Sasha decided that she would be at the front line of the action and get herself kidnapped.

“We helped each other down there,” she argues. “She’s not as bad as we originally thought—”

“She wants to get to the top at any cost, and if that means exposing both of us, she’ll do it. Whether now or down the line doesn’t matter.”

“But—”

“Shh.” I place a finger on her mouth, and her lips quiver against it. “Unless it’s to promise to never, and I mean never, be a martyr again, don’t speak.”

A moment of silence stretches between us, and I find myself studying her face. The color has returned to her cheeks despite the dried tears staining her face. Short of the bandage wrapped around her arm. She’s fine—physically, at least.

When she whispered that she was sorry during that attack, I thought that was the last time I would see her. I didn’t think about it as I ran in the middle of that rain of bullets just to get to her.

Due to my upbringing, I always had a plan A, B, C, and sometimes D before I took any action. Running toward Sasha was the first time I’ve acted without a plan.

And that’s fucking disturbing, to say the least. I could’ve gotten both of us killed without meaning to.

Sasha slowly removes my finger from her mouth. “I can’t promise that, because our definitions of a martyr are different. If I have to protect you, I won’t hesitate, even if you try to stop me.”

“Sasha—”

“You can’t change that. I’m afraid it’s final.”

This little fucking shit.

She holds my hand in both of hers. “In return, I promise to be more careful. I can’t exactly protect you if I’m dead. We’ll agree to disagree on the execution method.”

“No, we won’t. As I’m your boss, you’re under obligation to follow my orders.”

“That’s not how it works.”

“That’s exactly how it works. Have you seen any of my other men challenging my orders?”

“No, but they’re fake bodyguards sometimes. I can’t believe they don’t intervene whenever Yulia starts being a bitch and tries to slap you.”

“That’s because I ordered them not to. And did you just call my mother a bitch?”

“Well, she is.” She winces. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that in front of you. That was completely out of line.”

She sounds sincerely apologetic, and I can’t help the smile that lifts the corners of my lips.