Lies of My Monster: A Dark Mafia Romance(16)

When I’m done with her, Aleksandra will wish that she’d finished me off instead of taking me to the hospital.





6





SASHA





Kirill doesn’t want to see me.

When Viktor first told me I wasn’t welcome in the boss’s company anymore, I don’t know why I thought he was joking.

Surely, it was some sort of a mistake. Yes, I’d anticipated that Kirill’s reaction to what happened in Russia wouldn’t be pretty, but I didn’t think he’d go as far as…completely erasing me from his surroundings.

It’s been a week now since he fully woke up and even started conducting business deals from home as if nothing had happened.

Karina and Anna always try to forbid him from that, but no one can change his mind if he sets it on something.

I know because I’ve tried countless times to visit him, talk to him, or just see him from afar, to no avail.

Viktor is always by his side like unbending steel. Whenever I ask him for a mere minute in Kirill’s presence, he shuts me down so quickly and harshly that my pride is wounded.

Yes, it’s true that Viktor doesn’t like me—or anyone, for that matter—but this silent treatment wasn’t his idea. It was Kirill who ordered him not to let me approach him.

I stare out of my new prison—the weapon vault—at the small, secluded garden, where no one comes near. Maksim and Yuri only show up because I’m here. Otherwise, they wouldn’t step foot on these premises.

Before I was forced to this place, I vaguely knew it existed.

The only staff here are me and two older men who are no longer in-field bodyguards. We’re tasked with taking the weapons and ammunition up to the rest of the guards. However, Viktor clearly ordered me not to show my face upstairs and to let the two men handle the deliveries.

Even my stuff was moved from Kirill’s suite to a small room in the basement of the weapon vault. So I can’t get together with the guys. It’s like I’m being caged without actual bars.

That, combined with the fact that this house is fucking huge, has ensured that I’ve only managed to see Kirill twice and only from a distance when I’ve snuck around at night. The first time, I saw him standing by the window of the clinic, his merciless eyes staring blankly into the distance.

I wanted to go inside so badly, but the sight of the other guards made me change my mind. They’re under strict instructions to stop me from coming in contact with the boss, and if they don’t do as they’re told, Viktor might go as far as firing them. At least, that’s what Yuri told me.

My friends asked why I was relegated to weapon vault duty, and I said it was because I defied a direct order and, as a result, put Kirill’s life at risk, which is why he got shot.

Yuri thought it was odd the boss didn’t fire me, and Maksim said, “If he’s only punishing you, then it means he still wants you around, so hang in there.”

That’s the hope I held on to as I snuck around like a spy.

When I saw him at that clinic, I stayed there as long as possible, greedily memorizing every inch of his face—his eyes covered by the black-framed glasses, his stubborn nose, his square chin, and his mouth that was set in a line. I wanted to touch his knitted brows and relieve the tension lurking there. I wanted to lay my hand on his chest and make sure his heart was working properly and that the haunting faint sound I heard when I was taking him to the hospital had actually disappeared.

I wanted to do many things, but most of all, I wanted to look into his eyes and have them look back into mine. Even if it was in anger or contemplation or whatever his emotions are toward me. I didn’t care as long as he actually looked at me.

This silent treatment and complete apathy are hitting me harder than any anger he could express. I was ready for his physical punishment, but I had no clue the mental effect would be ten times worse.

The second time I saw him was when Karina invited me to her room for lunch two days ago. It was around the time when Kirill leaves the clinic and goes back to his room in the mansion. I was on pins and needles hoping to see him. Although I paced the hallway with Karina for a whole ten minutes, not only did he not leave his room, but Viktor also showed up and kicked me out, then said, “The house and its premises are forbidden. You only have access to the weapon vault's immediate surroundings. Are we clear?”

It didn’t matter how much Karina protested. The titan was on a mission and was only satisfied when I left. It was either that or cause Karina needless stress.

However, on my way out of the mansion, I caught a glimpse of Kirill at the top of the stairs. I swear I felt his eyes on me, but when I looked up, he turned and walked away.

My heart and soul have been bruised ever since he came up with this torture method. It’s worse than if he’d hit me or let the others physically torture me.

I could handle that. His indifference, however, is proving to be my undoing.

Maksim keeps telling me that it’s just a phase and he’ll get over it.

But how can he get over it if he refuses to see my face, let alone talk to me?

How am I supposed to clear the air between us and make amends if he won’t listen to what I have to say? Over the past two weeks, I’ve thought of many things that I want to tell him. Maybe it would be futile, but I need him to hear me out.