Lies(35)

“Not that you’re going anywhere and risking the chance of getting hurt,” adds Thom. “Don’t freak her out, man.”

“I asked, and I’m not freaked out,” I say. “Well, no more than the normal current level of oh my God, we’re all probably going to die horrible, violent deaths. But you know, I’m almost getting used to that. It’s harder to sustain a state of constant terror than you’d think.”

Thom stands with his arms crossed, face a careful blank, watching his friend. Or the dude I think is maybe his friend. You wouldn’t know it, however, from the current look in his eyes.

Meanwhile, Bear is grinning for all he’s worth. “See? She’s not freaked out.”

Nothing from Thom.

“I’m excited to try real New York pizza,” I say as my stomach rumbles and I ignore their dumbass staring competition. “What did you get? Because I kind of wouldn’t mind a pepperoni, but on the other hand, I could devour a ham and pineapple right now. Or something different like meatballs could be nice.”

Still nothing from Thom.

Bear’s grin, however, only widens. At this point, it’s taking up his whole damn face. He’s like a toothpaste commercial for people with excessive facial hair.

“Basically, anything you give me I will eat at this point in time, I’m so hungry,” I say. “But you’re not actually listening to me, so I’m going to stop talking now.”

“Huh?” says Thom, glancing at me over his shoulder. “Shit. Sorry, babe. What’d you say?”

“My apologies, Betty.” Bear laughs. “He was too busy silently communicating to me that if I kept looking at you in your current state of déshabillé, he’ll murder me slowly. Make it hurt. Cut me into pieces and hide my bits in the woods. That sort of thing.”

“He managed to communicate all of that with just a look?” I ask.

“It was more like a really intense glare. He put a lot of effort into it.”

“Ah,” I say with much wisdom. “Stop winding him up, please. We have enough to worry about without shenanigans.”

Bear sighs. “Sorry. But Crow was right, Wolf. You are one possessive, overprotective son of a bitch when it comes to her.”

Pretty sure Thom is grinding his teeth. Something has to be making the noise.

“This is why I don’t do relationships,” says Bear, keeping his gaze fixed on the TV. Both gallant and wise of him. “Messes with your head. You need to be sharp to stay on top in this game. Ready to go on a moment’s notice, not worried about leaving someone behind.”

Thom just gives him a look.

“Not exactly fair for them, either. Being away for long periods of time, often out of contact, no idea if you’re dead or alive. And even when you’re home, it’s not like you can talk about what you do. My dad was a SEAL, and let me tell you, it was hell on my mother.” Bear heads for the couch, making himself comfortable. He’s ditched the pilot’s uniform in favor of jeans, a dark hoodie, and sneakers. It fits more with his bearded hipster aesthetic. “Same goes for friends and family. If they’re not ex-services, they don’t really get it.”

“Sounds lonely,” I say.

“Nuh.” Bear smiles affably. “Easy enough to go to a bar, chat with someone about whatever game is on the TV, maybe find a friend for a little adult playtime.”

“You realize none of those things actually equals a real relationship.”

“Exactly. Now you’re getting it.”

Thom snorts at Bear’s words. “You’re wrong. We need to stay in touch with all the things we’re fighting to protect. Love. Family. Life. The moment we lose those, we’re just mercenaries.”

“Well-paid mercenaries,” says Bear, correcting him with a smile.

I shake my head. “Right. Well, I think you’re all adrenaline junkies with intimacy issues. But you do you.”

Thom turns and gives me a look this time. His heated gaze takes in my face before sliding down my neck to linger on the sliver of cleavage visible just above the towel. It’s a look that says we’ve been plenty intimate, and quite recently too. Smart-ass.

Heat gathers in my cheeks and I duck my head, concentrating on gathering up some clothes. A pair of black skinny jeans, a long-sleeved black thermal, and socks, and so on. “Sure, traveling the world and doing all of these exciting things may have its moments. But you’re actively putting yourselves in danger all the time.”

“We’re not so different from cops or firefighters,” says Bear. “Someone’s got to stop the bad guys, rescue kittens out of trees, and save the day.”

The man has a point. I just wish the person doing dangerous stuff didn’t have to be someone I might possibly have intense feelings for. A selfish sentiment, but there you have it. If we do stay together, I’m just going to have to pull up my big girl panties and deal with Thom being away often, saving the world. I’m half proud and half terrified. It’s a precarious balance. But possibly he should have gone for someone less neurotic and with a shitty imagination. Because imagining Thom getting hurt makes me hurt.

Oh God, I cannot be falling for him again, not after all this time. So we had good sex once. Us, our history and everything, is beyond complicated and will require more than a few orgasms to set things right. Though they were seriously great orgasms.