Lies(33)

Then it hits me and it just doesn’t stop. Wave after wave of light and sensation. The orgasm just goes on and on. My vision blanks, my mind empty. Every part of me goes weak.

Thom groans, thrusting into me once, twice more. His cock jerking deep inside of me. Shoulders slumped, panting, he remains kneeling between my legs. Damp tendrils of hair hang in his face. Meanwhile, the throbbing between my legs persists. All of those delicate inner muscles still fluttering around his half-hard cock.

All of a sudden, I feel horribly exposed, lying naked on the bed. Not just my flushed, sweaty body is on display, but it feels like all of my emotions are too. My heart and mind are lying open for his perusal. And I’m not sure it’s safe. I need armor immediately. Emotional walls at least ten feet deep.

I open my mouth, close it, and open it again. “That was—”

“That was what? Where’s the snappy, irreverent comment, hmm?” He pushes back his hair, inspecting me. “Oh shit. Betty, don’t freak out. Everything’s fine. Well…everything’s not fine. But here, you and me, we’re good. Okay?”

I have nothing.

Gently, he pulls out of me, and lies down at my side. One arm slips beneath my head, the other sliding over my hip and gathering me up against him. We’re cuddling. Only Thom doesn’t cuddle. Normally, it’s an all-out race to the shower to wash off any body fluids or evidence of possible intimacy. And the bathroom door is shut firmly against me every time. My presence neither required nor requested.

The Thom of here and now presses a soft kiss to my forehead, the tip of my nose, a final one on my lips. Quite a change from all the finesse and fury of hammering me with his cock a minute ago. Now he’s all sensitive and sweet. I can’t keep up.

Oh man. Am I going to have hot rough-sex-with-Thom flashbacks when I masturbate? I am. I know it. He’s doomed me for all time.

“Please don’t cry, or I’ll have to cry too,” he says, tightening his hold on me.

I snort.

“It’s okay if you want to cry. Pretty normal after coming, actually. Your muscles relax, all of the tension you’re carrying in them gets released. And with all of the stress and shit you’ve been through lately…”

“I’m fine.”

“You sure as hell are.”

I try not to smile. It doesn’t quite work. “Stop trying to make me laugh. You’re not funny.”

“Sorry,” he says, not repentant in the least.

For a while, we just lie there, legs tangled together. His fingers draw circles on my back, trace the curve of my spine. It has been a beyond-crazy few days. That’s the only reason I’m indulging in this weakness with him. My nemesis—intelligent, wise, and together Betty—would be getting her ass into the shower, locking him out for a change. Pay him back for all of those extra Kegel exercises, expensive sex toys, and the sheer embarrassment of suggesting we do it in weirder and weirder positions in an effort to fix things in the bedroom.

Only I don’t want to move away from him. Not right now. So instead, I lean in and fix my lips to his collarbone, digging my teeth into his flesh. Just because. And I don’t stop until I taste blood.

“Ow, babe.”

“That’s for all of those months of fumbling and shitty sex,” I say. “Making me think there’s something wrong with me when you were deliberately sabotaging things between us.”

He growls low in his throat. “There’s never been anything wrong with you, and I will happily spend the rest of my life proving it to you. Or being tortured by your vicious, gorgeous self if that’s what’s required. Your choice.”

I frown, resting my head on his shoulder. Silence fills the apartment. The distant sounds of the street are muffled by the snow. We could be the only two people in the whole wide world. That would be nice.

“If you want, we can just disappear,” he offers, somewhat hesitant. “I can get us out of the country easy enough and we’ve got money. We could settle somewhere quiet. Off the grid. No guarantees we wouldn’t have to move around periodically, though.”

“You mean we’d be on the run for the rest of our lives.”

“Most likely.” He swallows. “I can’t make any promises until I know more about who’s trying to kill us.”

“I’d never be able to see my family or friends ever again.”

“No, you wouldn’t. Or at least, not for a while,” he says. “But we’d be together, if that’s what you want.”

I listen to his heart beating harder beneath my ear. Feel the slight tensing of his hold. As if he’s afraid, maybe. The super-spy who’s been all over the world killing bad guys and righting wrongs is worried about losing me.

It’s a big leap to trust this man. He did me wrong and then some. And yet…my heart might be confused and wary due to our history, but it’s also all soft and mushy at the idea of him. Despite the biting. Which he totally deserved. I want more of his scent, his touch, the sound of his voice. I need it.

So I guess the truth is, I don’t want to leave him anymore.

“I have no idea if this is going to work or not,” I say. “But, yes, I want us to try and stay together.”

He exhales hard in relief. “Okay. Good.”

“But no more lying. I mean it.” I rise up on one elbow, giving him my best, most serious face. “And we’re not going to run. We’re not going to live like that, always looking over our shoulders. We’re going to stay. We’re going to fight and we’re going to fix this.”