Lethal(80)

Since Eddie’s death, she often had resented Stan’s interference in her life, but she’d done nothing to discourage it. She had allowed him and others to protect her, to shepherd her through rough times, and to oversee her decisions as though she was a child who needed constant guidance.

She’d had much more independence when she was married. Eddie had regarded her as an equal, a woman who was allowed and, indeed, encouraged to form her own opinions and to act on her decisions.

Widowhood had fettered her. It had made her insecure and cautious, afraid to relocate, or explore employment options, or to do anything other than remain in a rut comfortably lined with memories of her happy past. Stan’s supervision had fostered her timidity. She didn’t like this woman she was now. She missed the more confident Honor Gillette that she had been.

Squaring off against Coburn, she said, “I’m not going to let you just brush me off.”

“Not going to let me? Watch, lady.”

“You’re the one who dragged me into this.”

“I didn’t have a choice then. Now I do.”

“So do I.”

“That’s where you’re wrong. My choice is the only one that counts, and I choose for you to go with your friend here.”

“I’m going to see this through, Coburn.”

“You could get killed.” He pointed toward Emily where she was still playing with her stick. “You want to leave her an orphan?”

“You know better than to ask that,” she shot back angrily. “But this time I won’t be cowed or coerced. I want answers to the questions about Eddie.”

“I’ll get them for you.”

“That’s just it. I need to get them.”

“Not your job.”

“But it is!”

“Yeah? How’s that?”

“Because I didn’t do it before.”

His chin went back.

She hadn’t expected to blurt out that admission of guilt, but now that she had, she pressed on. “I should have insisted on a more thorough investigation of Eddie’s car wreck. I didn’t. I was told it was an accident, and I took the explanation at face value. I never posed a single question about it, not even after the officer who found Eddie was murdered so soon after.

“I let everyone hover around me and start taking over my decision-making.” She dug her index finger into her chest. “I’m making this decision. I’m staying on until I know what really happened to my husband.”

Tori placed her hand on Honor’s arm. Softly, she said, “That’s honorable and all, honey, but—”

“I’m not doing it just for me. He needs me.” She nodded toward Coburn even though they had maintained eye contact. “You do. You said so yourself.”

He muttered an expletive. “That’s what I said, but I was—”

“Manipulating me, I know. But you’ve convinced me that I’m indispensable. You can’t find what you’re looking for without my help. Not in time. You’re on a deadline. Without me, you won’t know where to search. You don’t even know your way around the area. You had to ask me for directions this morning, remember?”

He clamped his jaw shut.

Honor said, “You know I’m right.”

He stewed for a few moments, but Honor knew she’d won the argument even before he returned Tori’s phone to her and began reiterating his instructions.

When asked, she gave him the general location of her house on the lakeshore. “It’s about a two-hour drive, depending on freeway and bridge traffic. Shall I call you when we get there?”

“Is there a landline at the house?”

She recited the number, which Honor memorized, as she knew Coburn did. He said, “Let us call you. Don’t answer the phone unless it rings once, and then again two minutes later. And leave your cell phone off. No battery.”

Honor protested. “What if there’s an emergency at her fitness center? No one would know how to reach her.”

Tori waved off that concern. “It’s a building, you and Em are my family. Besides, it’s insured to the hilt.”

Finally, all the details that they could think of had been discussed, and it came time for Honor to part with Emily.

Struggling to keep her tears in check, Honor hugged her close, reminding herself that as heartwrenching as it was to let her go, it was the best thing she could do for her child. The risk of Emily’s becoming collateral damage if she stayed with her and Coburn was simply too great.

Honor was laying her own life on the line, but it was something she had to do for Eddie’s sake. And even more for her own.

Emily was too excited over the prospect of having time with her Aunt Tori to notice Honor’s emotion. “Are you and Coburn coming to the lake, too?”

“Maybe later. Right now, you’re going with Aunt Tori all by yourself. Just you! Like a big girl. Won’t that be fun?”

“Is this part of the ’venture?”

Honor tried to keep a brave face. “It’s the best part.”

“Sleeping on the boat was the best part,” Emily countered. “Can we sleep there again sometime? And maybe I could drive it.”

“We’ll see.”

“That’s what Coburn said, too, but I think he’ll let me.”