Legend (Arizona Vengeance #3)(15)
“I’ve got some paperwork we’ll need to get signed,” Louise says brusquely. “How about we go inside to handle that.”
“Sounds good,” I reply but I’m really only half aware of what she just said. I’m still too enraptured by this tiny little creature in my hands that I helped create.
Am I still scared?
Fuck yes….This is the biggest thing that’s ever happened to me in my life and I don’t want to fuck my kid up.
But something happened when she placed Charlie in my arms. I felt a shift inside of me. Things rearranged inside my heart, things that were once my main priorities got moved aside, and there was this big cavern, open and waiting.
And it immediately filled up with this unexplainable love I have for this baby that feels so foreign and unique. In my entire life, I’ve never cared about anything the way I care for Charlie in this moment. Not my parents and not even hockey.
My world just got narrowed down to this eight-pound bundle of wonderment in my arms and I am a different person as of now.
* * *
—
“You’re a pro,” Pepper whispers to me as I stand at the crib, hands on the railing, and look down at Charlie as she sleeps.
We’ve had an eventful morning. Charlie woke up not long after we went into the house and Pepper held her while I went over the paperwork with Louise. I had to sign an acknowledgment of paternity and a release to the Department of Child Safety, and I was handed an emergency order issued by a local judge giving me full parental custody. It could be challenged if Lida ever shows up, but at least this prevents her from walking in and taking Charlie if she were so inclined. I’m doubting that would ever happen, given the secretive way in which she dumped our child on my doorstep.
After Louise left, I changed Charlie’s wet diaper with coaching from Pepper. I then fed her a bottle that I carefully prepared. I had my first lesson in the circle of digestion because after she ate, she crapped her diaper and I had to change that as well as her clothes because there was some leakage. I’m proud I only gagged a few times and didn’t come close to vomiting. It’s by far my least favorite thing about my daughter.
Now she’s asleep and I’ve learned through reading as well as Pepper’s advice that Charlie will sleep a lot at this stage of her life. Maybe even up to twenty hours a day.
As I put her down for a nap in her crib, I prepared myself for the fact that she’d probably wake up in a few hours and need to be fed again. She’d get tired and fall asleep again. It’s nothing but a cycle at this age as they sleep and eat and grow.
I glance down at my watch. It’s almost noon and I’m hungry. My nanny interviews start at two P.M.
I open my mouth to tell Pepper we should head out to get something to eat, then it hits me just as suddenly that I can’t do that. I’m actually chained to this house right now. Or rather, I’m chained to the baby. I could take her out with us, but I think she’s better off resting right now.
So instead, I twist my neck to look at her as she stands by my side. “You hungry?”
She glances up at me a moment and then looks back to Charlie. “I could eat something. Want me to see what you have on hand and whip something up?”
I shake my head and step lightly away from the crib. “I’ve got the makings for omelets in my kitchen. I’ll cook, you relax.”
She smiles and for a moment, I think she’s going to stay in here and gawk at Charlie, but she follows me out of the nursery.
When we reach the kitchen, I open the fridge and start pulling out the stuff I need. Eggs, butter, onions, red pepper, cheese, and some bacon.
Pepper reaches out, and takes several of the items as I turn around. “I’ll cut the veggies while you start on the bacon.”
“Deal,” I tell her and we both set up side by side at the kitchen island which holds my stove burners plus a built-in griddle. I get the bacon going and beside me Pepper chops up the ingredients on a cutting board.
We talk companionably about Charlie, my upcoming hockey schedule which is two home games sandwiching a quick Christmas break, so I don’t have to worry about traveling during Charlie’s first week home.
“What about your parents? I assume you told them about Charlie.” Pepper asks as she sniffs and blinks her eyes from the onions.
“Here, let me do that,” I say as I hand her the tongs to man the bacon and switch sides with her. “Onions don’t bother me. And my parents…well, that was a mixed bag of reactions. My mom is over the moon she’s a grandmother but I think my dad is a little disapproving. He was very quiet when I told them on the phone.”
“Why would he disapprove?” she gasps in surprise.
I shrug. “Because I got a woman pregnant, and now I’m a single dad. To his way of thinking, it’s just irresponsible.”
“That’s ridiculous,” Pepper sputters. “You used protection. It just didn’t work. And you’re doing all you can.”
“I know,” I say with a quick but reassuring smile to her. “While I’m like my father in many ways—you know about my need for order and the distinct lack of plastic flamingos in my yard—I don’t adhere to some of his antiquated notions. I’m letting it roll off my back. Once it settles in with him, he’ll be fine.”