Last Summer(84)

Damien is quiet, but he nods.

Ella hugs him, rests her cheek on his chest. “Please tell me this is going to work and we’re going to come out of this together.”

He threads his fingers into her hair and brings his lips close to her ear. “It’s going to work and we’ll come out of this together. I’ll make sure of it.”





EPILOGUE

“She gets more beautiful every day,” Ella says of her three-month-old daughter, Grace Ella, suckling at her breast.

“That’s because she takes after her mother.” Damien leans down to where Ella sits in the nursery rocker and kisses her temple. He then caresses Grace’s crown, ruffling her dark-walnut hair.

Finished with the morning feeding, Ella lifts her daughter to her shoulder and gently pats her back, the organic knit onesie with the corgi print soft under her hand. Davie had purchased the outfit and many others from Peek Kids in the Marina.

“Only the best for my favorite little girl,” Davie announced at Ella’s baby shower.

Ella has plans to meet Davie for smoothies later in the afternoon. Her best friend adores seeing Grace dressed in the clothes she picked out.

Ella turns her nose into Grace’s hair and breathes in her baby’s dewy scent. Her heart flutters with love and Grace lets out a belch.

“Oh, my.” Ella laughs softly. “She takes after her daddy, too.” She grins up at Damien. He simply shakes his head and lifts his eyes to the ceiling.

As for Grace’s biological father, Ella hasn’t given him much thought these past months. Keeping Nathan at bay stifles the guilt that she gave birth to his child and has no intention of telling him. Her remorse over cheating on Damien twice is enough to keep her devoted to their perfect little family unit. She couldn’t bear hurting her husband again by bringing Nathan back into their lives. What if she tells Nathan and he tries to take Grace away from them? Her heart physically hurts at the thought. Losing Grace is unfathomable. She holds on to her daughter a little tighter.

Grace coos and squeaks. Her legs wiggle as she works up another gas bubble. Ella rubs her back, wondering who Damien sees when he looks at Grace’s blue-gray eyes, eyes Ella suspects will brighten to an ice-blue. The man his wife slept with or the wife who betrayed him? Hopefully, he sees a bit of himself, thanks to his and Nathan’s uncanny resemblance.

Damien hasn’t brought up Nathan’s name once since she confessed her pregnancy. At first he was infuriated. Betrayed by her yet again. But she quickly promised her baby would be theirs. She wanted Damien to raise it as his own, just like he’d planned to do with Simon. He agreed.

“Here, let me take her.” Damien lifts Grace to his chest. He pats her back.

“Don’t you have to get to work?” Ella stands, stretching her arms overhead.

“Work can wait.” Damien turns toward the crib, paces the room. Ella swears Grace smiles at her over his shoulder and her heart pounds with a protective happiness. One of the best outcomes of Grace’s arrival has been the peace Ella’s felt over her daughter’s namesake’s suicide. With the birth and naming of Grace Ella, Ella fulfilled a promise to her childhood best friend. She also gave herself permission to forgive. To forgive Grace for taking her own life. And Grace’s father, Stan, for setting it all into motion. She also found within herself the strength to forgive her own mother, which probably has something to do with being a mother herself. Motherhood broadens one’s perspective, making room to consider alternative ideas and deciding not to give energy to others. Ella also finally forgave herself. Where and when Grace committed suicide wasn’t Ella’s fault.

Ella waggles her fingers, getting her daughter’s attention. Grace squeals in Damien’s ear. He jerks his head to the side.

“If I suffer from hearing loss, it’s because of this little bugger.” Grace yawns, resting her head on Damien’s shoulder, and promptly falls asleep. He gently puts her in her crib. Looking down at his daughter with an expression of adoration and awe, he says, “I can’t believe she’s ours. I swear I love her more each day.”

“Remember that feeling. She’ll be an angsty teenager before you know it and you won’t be able to wait to send her off to college.”

Damien groans.

“Her orbit will switch from you to makeup, music, and boys.”

Damien clasps a hand over his heart. “You’re killing me.”

Ella kisses his cheek. “Don’t worry. She’ll always be your little girl.”

“Let’s hope so.” He glances at his watch. “Gotta run. I’m late for my staff meeting. See you tonight, sweetheart.”

He kisses Ella goodbye and she retreats to her office. She is still on maternity leave but checks her email every so often. As she anticipated, waiting near the top of her in-box is Dr. Whitely’s reply to the email she sent him after Grace’s 3:00 a.m. feeding.

Two weeks ago, the doctor sent her an email. He received a new grant. He’s entering the next phase of testing. Is Ella available to participate? Is she also still planning to write a feature for Luxe Avenue? His team could use the publicity.

For two weeks, Ella debated whether she should reply. She’d told Damien she didn’t need her memories because she trusted him to tell her about those lost hours and days in the months leading up to her motivated forgetting. She also feared she was, in fact, in love with Nathan. How would that affect her marriage? Who would she choose? She’d like to believe she’d remain with Damien. But does she truly know that she would? Ella never dreamed she’d make herself forget important moments of her life. She also never imagined cheating on her husband. It makes her question how well she knows herself.