Kaiju Preservation Society(52)

“Well, aren’t you a massive prick,” I said, quietly, under the roar of the helicopter.

“What?” Sanders asked.

“I said, ‘That’s a nifty trick.’”

“It’s the art of the deal, my friend.”

I did not say the next thing in my brain and instead changed the subject. “So, why did you fire me?” I asked. “Now that we’re here and it doesn’t matter.”

“It wasn’t personal,” Sanders said. “You remember Qanisha Williams?” I nodded. “She and I were talking about the pandemic and how it was going to mess with the economy. She said she hoped it wouldn’t be too bad. I said it was so bad that even people who had good jobs that week would be signing up to be deliverators next week. She didn’t think it would happen. So I made her a Duke bet.”

“A what?”

“I bet her a dollar. You know, like the Duke brothers in Trading Places.”

I racked my brain on this one. “The old Eddie Murphy film.”

“Yes. I made her the bet, and then I told her to pull up the employee directory, and I picked ten names at random. Then I called them into my office and fired them.”

“Including me.”

“Sorry. Qanisha put up a fight for you, you should know.”

“We were friends,” I said. And we had been.

“That’s what she said. I told her she could take you off the list if she replaced you. She didn’t.”

“I wouldn’t have wanted her to,” I said. I knew Qanisha was supporting more than herself on her salary.

“So, then I swore her to secrecy, and I told her that if half of the people I fired were deliverators a week later, I’d win the bet.”

“And?”

Sanders looked smug. “Six out of ten.”

“You must be proud,” I said.

“I just understand people.”

“Do you?”

Before Sanders could answer, Tipton waved at us to put on our headsets. We were close to the site.

“Do you think the pilot will let us land and walk around?” Sanders asked me, before we put on our headsets.

“I wouldn’t bet on it,” I said.

“Want to make a Duke bet on it?”

“Not really.”

“I’m going to try anyway. Watch this.” He put on his headset, and then quickly took it off and leaned in again. “What’s the pilot’s name again?”

“Martin,” I said.

“Got it.” The headphones went back on and he patched back through into the intercom just as Bella became visible, looming in her nest.

“Well, that’s a hell of a thing,” Tipton said, looking at Bella. “And she’s been there for two weeks now, just sitting.”

“Not just sitting,” Satie said. “Making eggs. The first run of eggs are going to hatch in the next week. Lots of little kaiju going to be born, eat their brothers and sisters, and then run off into the woods. Then she’ll make more eggs. She’ll do that a few times before she’s done.”

“And not move a muscle while she does.”

“She doesn’t have to move. She has all her creatures to move for her.”

“How close are we going to get to her?” Tipton asked.

“Depends on your nerves, General,” Satie replied.

Tipton chuckled at that.

“How about you let us out to look around?” Sanders said.

“I don’t recommend that,” Satie said.

“Why not?”

“Jamie knows.”

“I landed here with some scientists about a week ago, and one of them almost got eaten,” I said.

“I don’t mind the risk,” Sanders said.

“That’s easy to say when you’re not being chewed on,” Satie said.

“I’ll pay you ten thousand dollars to land for five minutes.”

“Do you have the ten thousand dollars on you? In cash?”

“No.”

“Then no,” Satie said. “And anyway, what would ten thousand dollars do me here? Kaiju Earth is a socialist paradise, Mr. Sanders.”

“A hundred thousand dollars, Martin,” Sanders said. “Wired to your accounts at home, the minute we get back.”

Satie turned and looked at Sanders, who looked back, a small smile on his face. He was sure he had just found Satie’s price. Satie turned back to his instruments. Sanders turned to me as if to say, See?

The helicopter dropped violently. If we hadn’t been strapped in, we’d have been on the ceiling. Satie took us all the way down and nearly put us on the ground, hard, before he stopped, hovering inches above fallen trees and new green.

Satie turned back to Sanders. “All right, out,” he said.

Sanders looked around. We were still a distance from Bella. “What, here?”

“Here is as good a place as any.”

“Well, if I’m paying a hundred grand, I want to be close to her.” Sanders pointed toward Bella.

“I’m not taking your money,” Satie said. “I’m just letting you out.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I know you don’t. Get out.”