Just a Bit Dirty (Straight Guys #10)(53)

“Mr. Caldwell? You want to go somewhere? I’ll call Zane.”

Flinching, Ian looked around, realizing that his feet had brought him to the garage. A security guard was looking at him in confusion and something like wariness.

“There’s no need,” Ian told him, heading to the locker with keys. “I’ll drive myself.” Maybe a drive would clear his head.

Retrieving the key to the closest car—the Ferrari—he got into the car and pulled out of the garage. The tires screeched and he swore as he nearly hit the street lamp. Fuck, maybe it hadn’t been his best idea. He’d never been a great driver, and he was out of practice after years of having other people drive him where he wanted. His agitated state didn’t help, either.

Ian forced himself to breathe deeply, in and out, and focus entirely on the road until he could think somewhat rationally.

The truth was… The truth was, Miles could obviously leave if he wanted to. He had no reason to stay. Why would he stay here when his entire life was in the U.K.?

Ian was aware that Miles had… some kind of feelings for him, but it didn’t matter all that much when one was twenty. Miles had his entire life ahead of him. Kids Miles’s age got infatuated with someone new every few months. They didn’t abandon their lives for a summer fling.

When Ian felt a sour taste in his mouth, he realized that he had just bitten his lip hard enough to draw blood.

Fucking hell. He needed to calm down—

The screech of the brakes was his only warning before pain exploded through his body, his head slamming against the window.

Everything went dark.





Chapter 19


Miles tossed and turned in his bed for ages, unable to fall asleep. Ian’s strange reaction—or lack of reaction—bothered him more than it should have. Out of all the possible reactions, he hadn’t expected that Ian would just go for a walk.

God, it was so pathetic. Had he really hoped Ian would forbid him from leaving? Seriously?

Miles sighed into his pillow, hugging it. It really was pathetic. He couldn’t even fall asleep anymore without Ian’s body wrapped around him.

A sound made his eyes snap open.

He turned his head toward the door. He was pretty sure he could hear voices—distant, but frantic voices. Who could it possibly be? It was the middle of the night. Ian still hadn’t returned, as far as he knew.

Frowning, he slipped out of the bed and opened the door.

He had to blink a few times as his eyes adjusted to the well-lit corridor. He had been right: two figures were talking to each other in hushed voices. It took him a moment to recognize Winifred and Zane, Ian’s driver. They both had deep frowns on their faces. Was Winifred crying?

Miles’s stomach hardened into a tight knot of anxiety and dread. Ian hadn’t returned yet. Had… had anything happened?

“What’s going on?” he said.

Winifred and Zane’s heads snapped toward him.

For a moment, they just looked at him, something deeply uncomfortable about their expressions.

Miles’s stomach hurt. Something was wrong. “Winifred?” he said hoarsely, looking into her suspiciously shiny eyes.

The housekeeper’s lips pursed tightly for a moment. “It’s Mr. Caldwell. He—there was an accident.”

Miles felt like the ground was pulled from under his feet. He had to lean against the doorway, feeling dizzy.

“An accident?” he croaked out. “Is he—?” He had to be all right, he had to be, pleasepleaseplease.

Winifred’s tight expression crumbled. “We don’t know, dear. We only know that he was in critical condition an hour ago, but we don’t—we don’t know anything more. We will be the last to know if anything happens.”

Miles nodded dazedly. Of course. They were just employees. Servants. No one would tell them anything.

“How did you even find out?” he managed.

Zane was the one who replied. “The hospital contacted Mr. Caldwell’s family, and they let his PA know. He was the one to contact me. Told me to come here and wait in case they need something for Mr. Caldwell. He promised to let us know if… if something happens, but there’s been nothing so far.”

Miles tried to take comfort in it. He told himself that no news was good news. But it felt like the world was spinning around him and he couldn’t breathe, fear gripping his chest and tightening his throat.

“What hospital is he in?” he said, looking at Zane. His embarrassment over the sex in the car seemed so silly now. So irrelevant. He needed to go to Ian, he needed to—

“You will not be allowed to see him, Miles,” Winifred said, not unkindly. “None of us will be. Family only.”

Miles sagged against the doorway, clutching the remnants of his composure around him like a tattered cloak. He would not break into tears in front of them. He would not.

“Go to bed, dear,” Winifred said, looking at him with such pity it was obvious that he wasn’t fooling anyone. “I’ll let you know if… if something changes.”

Nodding numbly, Miles staggered back into the room and closed the door.

He’d never felt so helpless in his life.

And so terrified.





Chapter 20


The following week passed in a blur of gut-wrenching anxiety, panic, and helpless fear. Miles felt like death warmed over, his head pounding and his eyes hurting from lack of sleep. He ate something when Winifred all but forced him to and tried to ignore the pitying looks of the staff. He tried to smile when he was with Liam, but the boy still seemed to somehow sense that something was wrong and alternated between being too quiet and throwing temper tantrums.