Just a Bit Dirty (Straight Guys #10)(43)

“All right,” Miles said tersely. “Thank you for telling me. Not that it matters now. I’m moving to a hotel. I was actually on the way there when Shawn texted me.”

“Hotel? You should absolutely stay here,” Shawn said in a tone that brooked no argument. He strode toward Miles and grabbed the suitcase at his feet. “Let’s go.”

Miles looked lost for a moment, just looking at Shawn’s retreating back.

A faint smile curved Derek’s lips. Over the course of their relationship, he had rubbed off on Shawn in more ways than one.

“You’d better do as he says,” Derek said, reaching for the stack of papers again. “Sometimes it’s just easier. Trust me.”

After a moment, Miles followed Shawn out of the room.

Derek stared at the kid’s hunched shoulders and felt a pang of guilt again.

He really shouldn’t have dragged him into this mess.





Chapter 15


The night before the dinner, Miles hadn’t slept well. Derek’s words had plagued his mind all night, making him toss and turn in his bed as he tried to reconcile the image Derek had painted with the man he knew. A shark. Messed-up. Cruel.

Rationally, he knew that Derek could be right. Miles didn’t delude himself into thinking that he was someone special, that he was the only one who could see the real Ian—or that Ian had been softer only with him, which was a possibility he wasn’t allowing himself to entertain, dammit.

But Miles still had trouble believing the rumors and other people’s opinions over his own observations. Over his own instincts. He’d never felt safer in his life than when he was with Ian. Could he really be that delusional?

It didn’t matter. He and Ian, whatever the two of them had, it was over. Over. Done with. He shouldn’t even be thinking about Ian anymore. He needed to get his shit together and forget about him.

Except it wasn’t so easy when there were still finger-shaped bruises on his hips and neck.

Every morning, Miles stared at them in the mirror, watching them change color and become less bright. Was it a little bit sick that he didn’t want them to fade? That he didn’t want to cover them?

But this day, he had to. Alexander and his boyfriend were coming to dinner, and if Alexander saw the bruises, he would definitely tell Zach, and the mere thought made Miles cringe. His overprotective brother would probably be on the next flight to Boston if he heard about it.

So he settled on a high-collared button-down that covered most of the bruises. The ones that it didn’t Miles masked with a thick layer of a concealer he’d borrowed from one of the twins. It wasn’t a perfect camouflage, but it would pass muster if Alexander didn’t look at his neck too closely.

By the evening, Miles’s nerves felt absolutely raw, his palms sweaty and his fingers trembling. He knew he shouldn’t be looking forward to seeing Ian, but truth be told, a part of him craved it. He felt like a substance addict who knew he shouldn’t even look at his drug of choice and yet couldn’t help but long for it.

It was pathetic. There was no guarantee that Ian would come at all. Derek hadn’t exactly been very welcoming when he invited Ian, and even if Ian had intended to come, he might have changed his mind after Miles left.

Miles almost laughed at himself. Why would Ian change his plans because of him? If Derek was right and Ian really was playing some kind of game, Miles’s presence at the dinner wouldn’t suddenly change his mind. If there was one thing Miles absolutely agreed with Derek on, it was Ian’s single-mindedness. If Ian fixated on something, he got it done, by any means necessary.

“You look on edge,” Shawn said mildly, coming up to stand next to him. He was looking at Miles with curiosity and something else in his gaze. “You can go to your room if you want. We’ll tell Alexander and Chris that you’re not feeling fell.”

It was kind of hilarious how carefully Shawn was avoiding saying Ian’s name, as though if he didn’t speak of the devil, he wouldn’t appear.

But Shawn was giving him a way out.

Miles almost wanted to take it. If he stayed in his room, he wouldn’t be caught between Ian and the Rutledges. There wouldn’t be any awkwardness. But as tempting as the option was, Miles couldn’t take it, wasn’t strong enough to take it. If he didn’t see Ian tonight, it was unlikely he would ever see him again, and that was… The mere thought made his stomach hurt.

Miles shook his head, unable to look Shawn in the eye.

Thankfully, at that moment, there was the sound of voices, and Alexander Sheldon walked in, followed closely by an attractive brunet, who was presumably his fiancé, Christian.

Introductions followed. Miles smiled and nodded and mumbled something affirmative at hopefully appropriate times, but his heart wasn’t in it. He felt like someone else had taken over his body while his heart pounded and his ears strained, zeroed in on the sound of a car pulling into the driveway.

He was here.

It took forty-three seconds before the Rutledges’ butler was showing Ian into the room.

Immediately, the huge room seemed to become smaller, as if the man who had just entered it skewed its center of gravity toward himself. Or maybe it was just him. But Miles didn’t think so. The conversation between the Rutledges and their friends quieted down at once.

Ian looked mouth-wateringly good, as usual. Black suit, black shirt, and the air of confidence and superiority that seemed to put every man in the room on edge. Ian was one of those men who commanded attention simply by walking into a room.