Just a Bit Dirty (Straight Guys #10)(22)

Miles shot him an innocent look. “You don’t have to be gay to let me suck your cock. I’m not sure I’m gay, either. But does it matter? It doesn’t have to mean anything.” He frowned, suddenly realizing that he was being pushy. “Or do you really not want it? If you’re uncomfortable, I’ll obviously stop.”

Ian just looked at him with a pinched, vaguely irritated expression. Despite his obvious irritation, his cock didn’t seem to be softening at all, firm and hot in Miles’s grip. “I don’t know what it is about you that makes it impossible to tell you no.”

Taking that as a yes, Miles smiled and took Ian’s cock into his mouth. He hummed appreciatively: although Ian’s cock was long, it wasn’t too thick, so sucking it was comfortable enough for his jaw. It fit perfectly in his mouth, even though he had to wrap his hand around the base. He bobbed his head up and down, trying to understand if he liked sucking it.

He did, Miles decided after a moment. There was something titillating about this act, of being on his knees in front of Ian and sucking his cock with wet, obscene noises. It turned him on. Feeling Ian’s cock harden further in his mouth also felt incredibly gratifying. It made him feel good, as if he was doing something right, getting it right.

“Am I doing okay?” Miles said, pulling up to take a breath. He continued stroking Ian’s cock, watching it in fascination.

“Are you asking me to rate your cock-sucking skills?” Ian said, a laugh in his voice, but there was something else there too.

Miles lifted his gaze and felt heat pull to his crotch when he saw Ian’s intent gaze on his face. Looking Ian in the eye, he gave the cock head a kittenish lick. Ian’s blue eyes became a little glassy, but they remained locked on him.

“Don’t,” Miles said, feeling himself blush for no damn reason. He’d always found Ian’s heavy, intense gaze a little overwhelming, and now it was doubly so. He stroked Ian’s cock, just to do something with his hands. He pressed his tongue against the underside of Ian’s cock head, watching greedily for any sign of Ian losing his composure. He was rewarded with Ian’s gaze darkening and his breath hitching, but other than that, Ian still looked far too composed for his liking.

“Don’t rate me,” Miles murmured as he rubbed his cheek against Ian’s cock. “I’m probably terrible at this. I have no idea what I’m doing. This is just the second cock I’ve ever sucked and the first one I’ve actually enjoyed. Last time I pretty much just closed my eyes and thought of England.”

He expected Ian to be amused—wanted him to feel amused. Miles wasn’t sure why he felt like this—why he wanted Ian to think he was funny—but to his disappointment, there was no hint of amusement in Ian’s eyes. If anything, Ian’s gaze became sharper, harder.

Then Miles felt a large hand settle on top of his head, Ian’s fingers grazing against his ear.

Miles leaned into the touch, shivering. It somehow felt even more intimate than having Ian’s cock in his mouth had. God, he felt… He wanted this man to want him. He felt like he’d do anything for that.

Anything.

“Tell me what to do,” Miles murmured.

***

“Tell me what to do.”

Ian stared at Miles, blood rushing to his cock and making it harder in Miles’s hand.

Fucking hell.

This boy was unknowingly pressing all the right buttons on him. Or rather, all the wrong ones.

This is sick, Ian. You’re sick. The memory of his ex-wife’s voice flashed through his mind, and Ian grimaced, pushing away. Regina’s opinion didn’t matter. It hadn’t mattered then and it sure as hell didn’t matter now. Ian knew his sexual preferences weren’t the most normal or politically correct, but he’d slept with enough women to know that he wasn’t the only person with that kind of fetish. Some of his one-night stands very much enjoyed how controlling he was in bed, his tendency to leave bruises, his tendency to be very rough during sex, his aggressiveness and desire to completely dominate his sexual partner.

They didn’t know the half of it.

They didn’t know how much worse he got if he was actually interested in more than just a one-night stand.

His first girlfriend, Alice, hadn’t been amused. “Look, don’t take it the wrong way. You’re… thrilling in bed, but I’m not like that, okay? You’re too intense for me. I want someone more normal.”

Intense. That was the word most of the women had used over the years as their relationships crashed and burned.

One of them, Barbara, hadn’t been as tactful as Alice. “You freak me out, Ian,” she had said as she broke up their engagement. “Like, different strokes for different folks and all that, but it’s not normal to want to own your girlfriend. You want your woman to be your possession, body, heart, and soul. It might turn you on, but it creeps me out. This is the twenty-first century. I’m not a thing, and I’m not willing to make my life revolve around a man’s desires, no matter how much I love him. I’m no one’s possession. I feel like I’m suffocating when I’m with you.”

Ian had liked Barbara a lot, and their breakup—and her words—had left a lasting impression.

So when he met Regina a few years later, he’d tried to rein himself in, pretend to be a normal, modern man with normal, low-key, politically correct desires. For a while, things had been… okay. She got pregnant and they got married, and while Ian felt like he was living a lie, he didn’t want to lose his wife too, so he gritted his teeth and kept on pretending. Until she cheated on him, and then their house of cards collapsed.