Just One Year(66)

“I needed to work on myself before I could begin to truly give myself to anyone. Part of why I didn’t fight harder for us before I left was because I didn’t feel like I deserved to be happy, or that I deserved you.” I heard him take a deep breath. “Are you happy, Teagan? Be honest. I know you’re with someone.”

With someone?

“I’m not…with anyone. What made you say that?”

“You’re not?”

“No.”

“But you were. I saw a photo online.”

“For a couple of months, yes. But I broke it off with him after I found your letter in the makeup drawer, and it reminded me that I should never settle. He was my boyfriend for a while, but we never had sex,” I added.

“Wow. I just assumed…” Caleb sighed. “So let me get this straight… The guy in the photos Kai posted from the campsite—you’re not with him anymore?”

“I broke up with him.”

“You’re single.”

“Yes.”

“Hang on a second.”

There was some fumbling, and then I heard Caleb yelling away from the phone. “Yes!” It seemed to echo. He did it again. “Fuck yes!”

“Oh my God. Did you just scream outside? I heard it echo.”

“Absobloodylutely, Teagan. If you had said you were happy with some other guy, I might not have told you what I am about to say. I might have kept it inside forever. And that might have killed me. But the truth is, now I can say it—and I have so much to say.”

I sniffled. “Say it, Caleb. Please, say it.”

“I’ve been staying away from contacting you because when I logged back into my accounts and saw you tagged in those photos, I believed you were happy. I didn’t want to disrupt your life, because that wouldn’t have been fair. So I stopped myself from calling you. But not reaching out to you has been slowly eating away at me. I asked the universe to give me a sign that I should bite the bullet. I never thought I’d get it, but I finally did.”

“What was it?”

“Well, I should back up a bit. My father moved out. It was a long time coming. He’s living with one of his brothers now, but that’s a story for another day. Anyway, I confessed to my mother recently how miserable I’d always been through the years at Christmas. This year, it’s just the two of us, and we decided to do something we’ve never done: take a drive to Nottingham and stay somewhere else, maybe get some takeaway and enjoy each other’s company away from home and all the bad memories there. I’m calling you now from Nottingham, actually.”

That made me smile. “Your mom is with you?”

“She’s upstairs in the room. I’m outside the hotel at the moment. I came out here to call you. Anyway, all day I’ve been thinking about last Christmas, how amazing it was to spend it with you and your family. All day I’ve wanted call you. But I still hesitated.”

“What finally made you do it?”

“My mother and I started looking at the hotel’s listing of nearby restaurants, and a lot of them weren’t even open tonight, but there was one Chinese place that was: Bo Cheng’s. Bo Fucking Cheng’s, Teagan! I swear.”

“Oh my God.” I laughed hysterically. “Oh my freaking God! How is that possible?”

“In that moment, I knew I’d received the sign I needed, and I had to call you, even if it meant disrupting your happiness. Because there’s so much I need to say.” He exhaled. “First off, I love you. I love you so much. I never said it because I was afraid, but I’ve loved you for a very long time.”

I closed my eyes and let that sink in. My voice cracked. “I love you, too.”

“Listen, I’m likely stuck here in England because of my arrest record. It’s now going to be very difficult to get a visa to come to the US. So, I have to ask you a question.”

“Okay…”

“Would you be willing to come here? Whether it’s after the school year, after you graduate, or just whenever you can—assuming I can’t get there—I don’t care. I’ll find a way to pay for your ticket.”

Emotions flooded through me, but I had no doubt about my answer.

“Yes! Yes, I will. Of course.”

“You mean that?”

“Yes. All you had to do was ask. I don’t even have to think about it. We’ll figure something out.”

We were going to be together again. And there it was: the best damn Christmas present I could have received.

***

Now that I knew Caleb wanted me in England, I couldn’t get there fast enough. The day after our phone call, I told Maura and Dad about everything Caleb had told me and my plans to travel to London at the end of the school year.

Then the following week, I went to the student services office to inquire about transferring for my last year to their partner university in London. I’d definitely have to finish my junior year here, but they said they’d look into it for me. Basically, it would be the opposite of what Caleb had done. If it wasn’t possible, I’d take time off or figure something else out. It didn’t matter, as long as we could be together. There was nothing I wanted more than to be with Caleb.

Caleb wanted to pay for me to get there, but he and his mother had depleted their funds paying for rehab. I didn’t want him to have to sell his soul for my ticket. Anyway, I needed not only travel money, but a means to stay in England. And I was determined to get both. As of now, I could stay in the UK for up to six months without any kind of special visa. We’d have to wing things beyond that. I had some savings, but that wouldn’t even cover the cost of my plane ticket. I’d started spending my free time researching work possibilities in the UK online.