Jade Fire Gold(71)

I press the box of mooncakes and whatever coins I won earlier into the trembling mother’s hands, knowing there is nothing I can do or say to make up for her loss.

“What’s going on, Altan? Why are they recruiting children?” Ahn asks. I walk over to the wall where the decrees are pasted.

By order of Premier Zhao Yang.

The words are red and bold like blood.

“Why don’t you ask your father?” I demand.

Ahn pales, a hand drawn to her lips as she reads the decree I’m pointing at.

“It takes time to train a proper soldier,” I say. “If they’re recruiting at such speed and near a wealthy town like this, all they want is numbers. War is coming.”

I rip the parchment off the wall and crush it, casting one last look at the mother of the boy the soldiers stole. She is slumped over. Weeping, reaching out for something lying on the ground.

A child’s toy.

I am wrong about one thing: war is already here.





28


Ahn


My heart is still weary from what we witnessed in the town square when we get back to our room in the tavern, but the sight of a familiar head of wavy, white hair lifts my spirits.

“Ama!” I cry out, running into her open arms, my heart bursting with relief. She looks surprisingly robust for someone who has traveled all the way from Shahmo. “When did you get here?”

“About an hour ago,” she says, her voice muffled in my hair. “I wasn’t expecting to see you here, Ahn. Master Sun said you were going on a sea voyage.”

Reluctantly, I release her.

“We had a change of plans,” I say, deciding to keep things vague.

Altan’s engrossed in talking to Master Sun. The old gentleman is dressed in a pale green hànfú, white hair in a topknot secured by an ivory chopstick. A collection of three or four small jade animal talismans hang from a red string attached to his malachite-and-gold embellished waistband. He looks nothing like I expected. Unlike the pent-up energy that vibrates off his disciple, there’s a calm manner to Sun Tie Mu. He doesn’t seem like a mercenary to me. I wonder why he’d be helping Altan and what he stands to gain from Leiye.

I bow to him. “Thank you for bringing my grandmother here safely, Master Sun. I hope it wasn’t too much trouble.”

“Grandma Jia is a delightful traveling companion. Though it did take a while to convince Li Guo that I did not have any evil intentions.”

“How is he?” I ask Master Sun.

Altan frowns at me. “Who’s Li Guo?”

“A friend.” The lines between his brows go deeper. I go on before he can interrupt again. “How was Li Guo when you saw him, Master Sun?”

“He was supposed to come with us. He insisted, said he made a vow to you, but we were pursued by some priests. Thankfully, we got ahead of them and no one was hurt. Your friend is brave. He volunteered to lay a false trail for the priests, just in case. Last I heard, he was headed northwest, far away from here and the seaport.”

Guilt weighs heavy in my chest. I made Li Guo promise to keep Ama safe. A burden I shouldn’t have placed on anyone other than myself. I will have to find him and pay my debt.

“I am sure you and your grandmother have much to catch up on. We can talk more later.” Master Sun signals Altan to leave the room.

Once the door closes, I bombard Ama with questions about her journey and health.

She rests her hands on my shoulders. “Slow down, Ahn, slow down. Everything is all right. I’m fine—I really am. Li Guo took care of me after you were taken, and Master Sun has been very kind to me.”

“I’m so sorry to put you through this. It’s all my fault.” Slowly at first, and then in an outpouring of guilt and confusion, words rush out of me. But when I’m done confessing my terrible deeds and what happened with my father, I see no fear nor anger, not even disgust in Ama’s eyes. She merely strokes my head, sighing.

“I am sorry your father was not who you thought he was. I do not pretend to understand his actions, but perhaps, as a parent—”

“I don’t want to make excuses for him. He chose his path.”

Ama goes quiet, giving room to my emotions. After some silence, I speak again, wringing my hands as my fears return.

“I am afraid, Ama. This Life Stealer title or whatever it is—it makes it sound like I’ve been chosen for something important. But I’m not sure what, and I don’t understand. I don’t know what to do.”

“Like you said, your father has decided for himself. You may have been chosen in some way, but you can still choose your own path.”

“I want to help, but I want you to be safe,” I say shakily. “I don’t want to leave you again, and I don’t think a sword with such power should be given to someone like me.”

She cups my cheek. “Dear child, it is the wielder who decides what to do with a weapon. You are a good person inside, Ahn. I believe that, I know that. There are some things that are out of your control—focus on what you can do. It is time to forgive yourself for whatever has happened in the past. Move on and live well.”

I want to believe her. I want to move on. But images of the men I killed are seared into my brain. If I’m to find the sword and use it, will I end up hurting more people?