Jade Fire Gold(47)

Not knowing what to do, I sit down cross-legged next to him, folding my skirt over my lap.

“Sorry for rambling. I don’t know why I told you all of that. Perhaps it’s because you . . . you’re not from here. You didn’t grow up here, you’re not—” He gestures wildly. “You’re not one of us. You are not one of them. I know Mother thinks I should be emperor—that I would be a good one. But I don’t know. I don’t.” He looks at me helplessly. “I don’t want to disappoint her.”

“As someone who is not one of them, I’m telling you to pull yourself together. You can be a good emperor if you want to, and that doesn’t start by feeling sorry for yourself.”

I jab him in the ribs to make my point.

Tai Shun makes a face and rubs his side. “Have you been drinking?”

“No, I am perfectly sober.”

“You just raised your voice at the crown prince and I’m pretty sure you assaulted me.”

“I’m not a simpering sycophant.”

That draws a genuine laugh from him. Unsteadily, he stands and brushes the dirt from his robes.

“Good, good. Excellent.” He grabs my hand and I lurch up. “Come with me.”

“Wait.” I yank back. “Where?”

“I’m sorry, where are my manners,” Tai Shun says, abashed. “What I meant to say was, my dear Ahn—if I may call you Ahn—would you like to accompany me to a shadow puppet performance in the city center?”

“Just the two of us? Without an escort?”

He nods vigorously.

“Are you sure it’s a wise idea to sneak out?”

His excitement dulls and he bites his lip, looking morosely at the ground.

You assume a prince has friends.

I sigh, unable to ignore the pang of sympathy I feel for this boy. I kick off my heels and grin. “What are we waiting for? Let’s go.”





17


Altan


I lean out the window of the Lotus Sect safe house, feeling the sun’s fading rays on my face. From here, I can see the great stone wall that fortifies the palace grounds, but nothing else beyond that. That wall was built to keep people out, though sometimes it feels like it was made to keep its inhabitants in. The palace is layer upon layer of stone with numerous guards in and around the compound, cloistering the royals from the everyday humdrum life beyond the palace.

A special kind of prison.

I remember the first time my sister and I visited the city. The people bowed when our palanquins went through the streets. Sarangerel stuck out her head and waved, grinning from ear to ear. She was so excited to be outside the palace. No one expected to see her. Their surprised expressions and hesitant smiles told me as much. Official decorum states that no ordinary citizen is to look the emperor in the eye. As for his children, they soon realized that waving back was the sensible thing to do.

I used to stare at the kids on the streets, wondering how different life was for them. I felt a semblance of envy. Unshackled by palace doctrines, they looked so free in comparison.

Not for the first time, I wonder if I could have my vengeance without the bonds it entails. I have spent so long away from life in the palace confines—do I want to go back to it? Could I rid the Empire of the priests and oust my aunt and cousin without sitting on the throne myself? But who would take over then?

You are all we have left, Altan, whispers my sister’s voice in my head. My knuckles crack. I don’t have a choice. The power vacuum and the ensuing struggle would make the Empire vulnerable to its enemies—and by the gods, we have made many enemies.

The snarl of invisible manacles clamps over my ankles. I have led a nomad’s life for the past decade. Without a home, with only Shīfù to call family. But there is freedom in that life. And I know in my bones that freedom is priceless.

We will find Father’s murderer. We will take back what’s ours. We will go home.

I grip my jade amulet, murmuring, “As long as we’re together.”

The door creaks open.

“Altan! It’s been forever.” Linxi skips over and gives me a bear hug.

“It’s good to see you again,” I wheeze.

She releases her hold and takes a step back to examine me. “You’ve lost weight.”

“It’s not like I’ve been living in a lap of luxury.”

“I know. Tang Wei told me all about it. I can’t believe you had to eat desert lizards to survive.”

“Is that what Tang Wei told you?”

“What did I tell who?” Tang Wei strolls into the room, immediately draping herself around Linxi.

“Nothing,” I say under my breath. If Tang Wei wishes to embellish her adventures to impress her girlfriend, so be it.

I start to brew some tea as the two settle in the corner, whispering into each other’s ears.

Shīfù joins us shortly, and we get down to business.

“I don’t have much to update for now,” says Linxi, pulling away from Tang Wei. “For better or worse, Ahn has made no progress with her life-stealing magic. But the empress seems to have taken a liking to her.”

Ahn. The Life Stealer’s name. It’s a pretty name. Unfortunate that it belongs to the most dangerous person in the world.

“That’s because Zhenxi finds the girl useful,” I say. “How about her adoptive grandmother? Is she still in the desert town?”