Irresistible (Cloverleigh Farms #1)(67)

“Sounds like maybe you should keep her around.”

I shook my head. “I can’t keep letting her waste all this time on me. There are too many complications, between the kids and Carla making things difficult at every turn, and what people will say and what she wants for the future.”

“What will people say?” Woods asked.

“You know. They’ll just gossip.” I ran a hand through my hair. “They’ll say I’m fucking the nanny, and she’s so much younger, and my divorce is barely final, and it’s not fair to the kids, and I’m just taking advantage of her, and—”

“Fuck that,” Woods stated emphatically. “Anyone who knows you will know that’s complete bullshit. And since when have you ever cared what people say?”

“I can’t take that attitude where the kids and Frannie are concerned. This isn’t just about me.”

Woods exhaled and lifted his glass to his mouth. After a long drink, he set it down and looked at me. “Do you remember what you said to me after I broke things off with Stella?”

“That you were being a dipshit?”

“Yeah, and you are too, by the way, but you also said something else that I always remembered.”

I sat up taller. “What?”

“You said something like, ‘If I had someone I trusted, who understood me and baked pies for me, and the sex was even marginal, I’d marry her tomorrow.”

Frowning, I slumped over again. “But our situations are not similar at all. I meant I’d do that if I were you. I’ve got kids to think about.”

Woods gave me a look that called bullshit, but he didn’t say anything. He just picked up his beer and took another drink.

“And I’m thinking of Frannie, too. I’m letting her believe this can go somewhere when I know it can’t. And the longer this goes on, the worse it’s going to be for everyone involved when it ends. The girls are already too attached to her. It’s dangerous to be that attached to someone.”

“So what are you gonna do?”

My gut twisted. “I have to break it off. For the kids’ sake.”

Woods was silent a moment. Then he said, “You do what you’ve gotta do, Mack. I just want to say one more thing, and then I’ll shut up. Because this is probably going to piss you off, but we all need that one asshole in our life who says what needs to be said.”

I gave him the side eye. “What?”

“Are you doing this because the girls are too attached to her? Or because you are?”

I sat up taller. “Fuck off. I’m not doing this for me.”

He held up his hands. “Okay, okay. I know you guys have been through a lot, and I’m not a father, so I don’t know what that’s like. If you’re that sure things can never work out with her, go ahead and break it off.”

“I’m sure,” I said, the knot in my stomach thickening. “I have to break it off.”





*



The moment I saw her at the rehearsal the next day, my heart seized and my breath stopped and my legs didn’t want to move. I was standing at the back of the wedding barn, where the ceremony was going to take place, and she came over with a big smile on her face.

“Hey, you,” she said. “How was your night out with the guys?”

“It was fine.” I could hardly look her in the eye.

“What did you do?”

“Just had a few beers. Some food.”

“No strip clubs?” she teased. “Not that there are any within a hundred miles.”

I couldn’t even smile. “No.”

“Did you get in late?”

“Not too late.” I hesitated. “Sorry I didn’t call. I was tired, I guess.” God, this was torture. I didn’t know where to look, so I stared at the ground between our feet.

“Did you ask your parents about staying over tomorrow night?” she asked hopefully.

“Oh, uh … not yet.” Fuck. What the hell was I going to do about that? How could I stay with her knowing what I was going to do? I already felt like the biggest jerk on the planet. That would just make it worse.

“Is everything okay, Mack?” She sounded confused, and I didn’t blame her.

“Yeah. I’m just … you know. Busy.” It was bullshit. The rehearsal hadn’t even started yet.

“Oh. Okay, well, I won’t keep you. Just wanted to say hi.”

I nodded, feeling like fucking dirt, and she gave me one last smile before walking away, but it wasn’t a happy smile. It was nervous and tentative, and I hated myself for it.

But that was nothing compared to the following night.





Mack





Three pairs of eyes watched me knot the deep burgundy tie around my neck. My hair was trimmed, my shave was close, my navy suit fit perfectly. On the outside, everything was perfect.

On the inside, I was a mess.

“You look nice, Daddy,” said Felicity. All three girls were lying across my bed on their bellies, studying me as I finished getting ready for the wedding.

“Thanks.” But my tie was crooked. Frowning, I loosened the knot and tried again.

“I wish we could come to the wedding,” said Millie.