Irresistible (Cloverleigh Farms #1)(30)

“She did?”

“Yes. She kept seeing you guys talking and looking at each other, and she asked me what I thought, and I said no way.” She laughed. “Guess I was wrong.”

“Yeah,” I said miserably. “I’ve had a crush on him forever.”

“So when did this happen?” Chloe punched her fist again.

“Last night. I was watching the girls and stayed overnight because of the weather. After the girls went to bed, one thing kind of led to another.”

“Got it. So what happened afterward? Was he a jerk?”

I wiped my nose on my sleeve. “Yes and no. He said we had to forget it happened and go back to being just friends—I’m too young, I’m the boss’s daughter, blah blah blah.”

My sister shrugged. “He’s not wrong, exactly.”

I glared at her. “Yes he is, Chloe. I’m not that young. And I can’t help who my father is.”

“So what did you say?”

“I agreed, because I didn’t want to seem like a baby, and because I was scared to say how I really felt. So I tried to pretend like I didn’t care. But it was so awkward.” I cringed, shaking my head. “We had to bring the kids to Cloverleigh because they had a snow day, and when he came up here to get them, he said he wanted to talk to me in the hall. Then he accused me of freezing him out.”

She rolled her eyes. “Of course. He wants it both ways.”

“I gave up pretending and told him my feelings were hurt. That I couldn’t just forget it as easily as he could.” I got up and went for the tissue box again, trying to recall what else he’d said. “He claimed it wasn’t easy for him either, but that he’s in an impossible situation. And he said he had nothing to offer me.”

“Hmm.” Chloe leaned her elbow on the table and propped her chin in her hand. “Maybe he’s right. I mean, he just got divorced and he’s got three little kids. He probably doesn’t want a girlfriend.”

I blew my nose. “It’s not like I’d be demanding. And I love his kids.”

“I’m sorry, hon.” She gave me a sympathetic look. “I don’t know what to say.”

Sighing, I lowered myself into my chair. “I’m curious about his divorce. Like what happened. Do you think Sylvia would know anything?” Sylvia and Mack had gone to school together, and they’d been pretty good friends.

“It’s possible. They used to be pretty good friends. But she’s been gone for so long.” She shrugged. “You could ask her.”

I shook my head. “I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because we don’t talk like that. She’d think it was weird.”

My sister sat up straight and nodded slowly. “Frannie, I’m just going to say this out loud because I’m thinking it and even though I have worked very hard on my filter over the years, I feel like it’s something you should hear.”

“Okay,” I said hesitantly.

“I’ve never been in here like this before. Sitting down with you, just the two of us. Having a really personal conversation. Sharing secrets.” She leaned forward. “And the reason is because you’ve never invited me.”

“Well …” I felt embarrassed all of a sudden. “You’re always so busy. And I didn’t think you’d want to talk to me. I don’t really feel like any of you want to talk to me. You’ll think this is stupid, but I feel like you’re all part of this secret sister club and I’m not in it.

“I don’t think it’s stupid at all,” she said seriously. “It feels that way to us too, sometimes. And a lot of it stems from when we were little. Mom and Dad were always so worried about you. They kept you apart from us a lot. We felt like you were in this bubble and we all had to be so careful.”

“I hate that,” I said, my teeth clenched. “I know I can’t be mad that they were so protective of me, but do you know how lonely it was, growing up like that? I wasn’t close to you guys, I didn’t have school friends, I spent tons of time in the hospital with only my parents and the nurses for company, and even after I was perfectly healthy, Mom and Dad wanted to keep me in that bubble. They still do!”

“I’m sorry,” Chloe said. “Now I can see that it must have been lonely for you, but back then, we were all just trying to get some attention, and it didn’t seem like there was enough to go around.”

“You must have resented me,” I said. It was a relief to finally say these things out loud. “You were the baby until I came along.”

Chloe thought about it. “It wasn’t so much about not being the youngest anymore as it was just basically feeling ignored. My therapist thinks that’s why I got into the pattern of acting out.”

I nodded, my eyes filling. “I’m sorry, Chloe. I’ve thought about it a lot as I’ve gotten older and wished things were different, but I didn’t know how to approach it.”

“Hey.” She put her hand over mine. “It wasn’t your fault. I think my therapist is wrong about that anyway—I think being a shithead teenager was just in my blood. And we can’t change the past, but I definitely think we can be better in the future about talking openly and letting each other in a little.”