Into the Light (The Light, #1)(35)

“No, Raquel had to leave. Sister Lilith said it when we were alone.”

The hands that still held my face tensed, yet his voice remained composed and reassuring. “Of course she did. She didn’t know you were able to repeat it to me. Don’t worry. I was just with the Assembly, Commission, and Father Gabriel. I can honestly say I don’t think banishment is going to happen.”

I covered his hand with mine. “You’re upset. I feel it.”

He kissed my hair again. “I am upset, but not at you. Do you remember Sister Raquel’s husband?”

“I don’t remember anyone, but she talked about him. His name is Benjamin.”

“Brother Benjamin. All men deserve a title,” he corrected. “And yes, if you don’t remember him, you probably don’t remember that he’s also on the Assembly. Does Raquel seem ashamed of you?”

“No. No she doesn’t, but why? Why would Sister Lilith say that?”

He released my cheeks, and his finger came to my lips. “No questions.”

I lowered my face again and exhaled. “Jacob, I’m no good at this. I really can’t remember why I was in your truck, or why I had an accident. I can’t remember anything before three days ago. Except I feel like I’m not very good at following rules. I don’t understand why you married me, why I’m here, in The Light . . . I’m not an Assemblyman’s wife. You should just let them banish me before you end up losing all you’ve accomplished. I’m not who you think I am.” The sobs were gone, but an occasional tear continued to flow.

Jacob lifted my hands and kissed the knuckles. A faint smile crossed my lips as I remembered him doing the same thing earlier this morning. Wrapping both of my hands within his grasp, he began, “Sara Adams, you’re my wife.” He wasn’t saying it as he had when he wanted me to repeat after him. This time his tone made it more of a plea. “I married you and you married me. I’d do it again in a heartbeat. I’m honored to be on the Assembly, and I’m also honored to be your husband.” He leaned down until our foreheads touched. “This road won’t be easy, but never doubt where you belong or with whom. I don’t know what I’d do without you, and I pray I never find out.

“We pledged our devotion to The Light and Father Gabriel, but before that, we pledged our love to one another. If I have to start from the beginning and recount our entire lives again to help you remember, I’ll do it. I’d do whatever I needed to do to help you remember us. Sara, I’d marry you again.” My chest ached with his declaration. “Sara, would you marry me?”

I couldn’t speak as his words soaked deeper and deeper into my heart. My tears were dry. There probably weren’t any left. However, the lump within my throat continued to grow, making my reply impossible. The man holding my hands and affirming his love overwhelmed me. Despite my shortcomings, he was declaring his devotion to me and our marriage. Finding myself lost in his grasp and surrounded by his masculine scent, I wondered if I deserved his steadfast love. I didn’t know.

And then I remembered the voice: believe in yourself. I would believe, and even if I hadn’t deserved Jacob’s love in the past, I would in the future. Because for the first time, a part of me wanted it.

“Sara?”

I lifted my unseeing eyes, leaving only a whisper between our lips. “Yes, Jacob, I believe I’d marry you again.”

With our hands still connected, our lips came together. His were firm and demanding, yet soft and accommodating. His kiss gave and took in equal portions, causing a firestorm to erupt deep within. My chest no longer cried from shame; instead my body screamed with desire. Without thinking, I willingly surrendered to the man with the fervent kiss. His kiss awakened me, my body, and my yearning. I had no doubt that this man filled my days and nights with earth-quaking passion. With only a kiss, I no longer wondered who my husband was in the bedroom; I knew. He was a man who conquered unapologetically and bestowed unsparingly.

When our lips parted, Jacob asked with a smile to his voice, “Are you better?”

“I am, thank you.” Calm warmth settled over me as I thought about what he’d said when he found me crying. He’d said that part of his responsibility was helping me. I still couldn’t wrap my head around all of it, but my life was becoming clearer. I was his. Yes, he’d correct me, but he’d also make things right and help me feel better. “Jacob?”

“Yes?”

“I don’t remember anything from our past, and I won’t lie to you and say I do. I get the feeling that isn’t who we are. I don’t think we lie to one another, do we?”

“Honesty is best.”

“And there’s something else,” I said.

“Go on.”

“I don’t like the idea of being corrected, but I love how protective you are. I remember you saying I can’t ask, so I won’t, but I hope that you’ll be patient with me.” I allowed my grin to grow. “Because I’m anxious to be your wife again, in every way. Your kiss . . .” The blood rushed to my cheeks. “Well, since we’re married, I hope I can say this. Your kiss makes me want more, makes me want to remember. I’m sorry for whatever happened. Thank you for standing by me.”

“I’ll always stand by you. I’ll also be patient, but I will correct you, even while I’m being patient. I told you, correction isn’t done out of anger, but for you. As a matter of fact, you just said something . . .”