In an Instant(48)

“He told me one night when he was drunk,” Natalie goes on. “He probably doesn’t even know he told me. He was completely plastered. He can be such a loser.” Then, perhaps realizing she has stepped over a line of loyalty, she says, “You won’t tell?”

Mo’s blue eyes flutter innocently, and she offers her most engaging smile. “Your secret’s safe with me.”





57

My mom is at work, which means Chloe and my dad are home alone. If I still had nails, they’d be chewed to their nubs. I have no idea what lies in store, only that both are on the verge of self-destruction and that this is the first opportunity they’ve had to act on it.

The home health nurse arrives at nine. Her name is Lisa. She’s blonde and bubbly, with exaggerated blue eyes and breasts, and I’m glad she’s the nurse we got instead of some old biddy. She is like a burst of fresh air each time she steps through the door.

She checks on Chloe first. Chloe sits on her bed, a notebook on her lap and her earbuds in her ears. She is making notes for Aubrey’s reception music, a task she’s thrown herself into fully.

“How’s the pain?” Lisa asks as she examines Chloe’s toes.

“I’m almost out of the hydrocodone,” Chloe answers.

I swallow hard at the lie. The hospital sent her home with eight tablets, and she has yet to take a single one.

“I’ll pick up a refill and bring it on Wednesday,” Lisa says without a blink of suspicion. “Toes look good. Need anything else?”

Chloe shakes her head, and Lisa gives a thumbs-up, then canters out of the room and down the stairs to my dad.

“Morning,” my dad says brightly.

While Lisa was upstairs, my dad changed his shirt, shaved, and combed his hair.

“Morning, Jack. You’re looking better. Bath first or last?”

“First. Go ahead and take your clothes off, and I’ll start the water.” He starts to get up.

Playfully she pushes him back down. “Very funny. Like I haven’t heard that one before.” She pulls a blood pressure cuff from her bag.

“But have you heard it from someone as charming as me?” My dad grins with all his teeth.

He’s flirting, and I have to laugh. It’s absolutely awful but also incredibly funny. Perhaps he’s compensating for the emasculation of having a young, pretty woman take care of him, or perhaps it’s a little out of spite toward my mom, or perhaps it’s just to lighten the boredom of his recuperation, but it’s hilarious, him sprawled on the couch with his mangled leg and laying on the charm like Sir Lancelot.

Lisa’s teased brows seam together in concentration as she studies the blood pressure meter in her hand.

“You know that’s not fair,” my dad says.

“What’s not fair?” she says absently.

“Taking a man’s blood pressure after you make it rise.”

She grimaces at the cheesy line but also blushes, and I actually think she might be falling for it.

You’ve got to be kidding. My dad is twice your age.

“Strong as an ox, Jack,” she says, her fingers lingering a second longer than necessary as she removes the cuff.

“So am I cleared for all activities?” he says, his eyebrows rising and falling twice and causing me to cringe. Funny is turning gross quickly.

She giggles. “That brace might be a bit of a hindrance.”

I leave before he can answer. It’s bizarre seeing my dad not as a father but as a man, and I don’t think I like it.





58

Hunger drives Chloe from her bed a little before noon.

My dad clicks off the television when she returns from the kitchen carrying a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a can of Coke.

“Chloe,” my dad says, “can you sit with me for a minute?”

She changes course and settles on the love seat across from him, her lunch perched on her lap. My dad pulls himself up so he’s sitting more than lying on the couch. He glances at Chloe, then looks away, his eyes stopping on the table between them as he decides on something or figures something out.

“I know you don’t want to talk about it,” he says finally.

Chloe stops midchew. She’s made it very clear she doesn’t want to talk about it.

“It’s just . . . I don’t need to know what happened out there, but . . .” He stops, unsure how to continue.

“You want to know why I went,” she says, helping him.

He still doesn’t look at her. He can’t, the hurt of her decision blaring like a thousand-watt bulb between them.

Chloe looks at the plate on her lap, sighs, and with her head still bowed, says, “I couldn’t let him go alone. I knew you were right, but I also knew that Vance thought he was right, which meant he was going to go no matter what, and I couldn’t let him go alone. It’s like if you weren’t hurt, even if I was wrong, you would have gone with me. You wouldn’t have let me go out there alone.” Chloe’s eyes slide to the mantel and the photo of my mom and dad on their wedding day, her eyes sticking on my mom’s young face, hurt radiating and the reason she’s so angry suddenly clear. She believes my mom didn’t love her enough to go with her.

“I loved . . . I love him,” Chloe says.