Impossible to Forget(91)

Romany hadn’t realised that she had put Christmas in the ‘too hard’ box as well, and had avoided thinking about it until Tiger asked her what she wanted to do to celebrate.

‘I haven’t had a Christmas in the UK for . . .’ His gaze went up to the ceiling as he tried to work it out. ‘Well, I’ve no idea, but it’s been a bloody long time.’

‘I’ve never had a Christmas anywhere else,’ said Romany. She could feel her throat closing up. Sometimes she fought hard to maintain control but sometimes she just let the tears come. This was one of those times. Christmas without her mum. She had no idea how she could even think about it, let alone get through it.

Tiger saw her tears and edged closer. Over the months, they had become more used to one another, the awkwardness of the first few weeks falling away little by little. Now, for the first time, he pulled her into a hug. It took Romany by surprise, but then she let herself lean into him, enjoying the warmth of another person’s body against hers and the feeling of someone bigger than her enclosing her. Sometimes all she wanted was for someone else to take control so that she could be the child again. She cried into his shoulder, and he just held her until her sobs started to slow and then faded away.

‘Tell me about Christmases with your mum,’ he said. ‘Come on, sit down.’

They moved across to the sofa and she sat cross-legged next to him.

‘Well,’ she began, ‘Christmas Day was usually just me and Mum, but Maggie came sometimes too. We didn’t do the whole turkey thing, obviously. There wasn’t even a special meal that we always ate. We’d just make what we fancied. Last year we had curry takeaway, because Mum didn’t want to cook. We did presents, though. Mum used to make me a stocking full of lots of little things. She must have collected them all year long. Sometimes there were things that I’d asked for and she’d said I didn’t need, but then they’d turn up on Christmas Day. She was really thoughtful like that. We’d open one each per hour.’

Tiger pulled a face. ‘I’m more of a “rip off all the paper in the first five minutes” man.’

‘Yes. That’s what I wanted to do when I was little, too . . .’ Romany spotted the insult just too late, but she ignored it. ‘But the older I got, the easier it was to take it slowly. And anyway, it was just the way we did things, so it seemed normal to me. Mum said it was so we could properly appreciate each gift and be grateful for it.’

‘That sounds like your mum,’ agreed Tiger.

‘And then we’d play Scrabble and watch films and I’d eat chocolate. Mum might even eat some sometimes. And she bought beer! It was the only day of the year that she had it. She used to pretend that she didn’t miss it, but she did really. I could just tell.’

‘It sounds like the perfect Christmas,’ said Tiger.

Romany nodded and the tears started to fall again.

‘So, how about this year we do it differently,’ suggested Tiger. ‘Instead of staying here, let’s go out for Christmas lunch. We can go wherever you like. You choose. And we can invite Maggie and Leon too, if you like. Make it a bit of a party.’

Romany’s heart lifted a little. ‘That would be great,’ she said.

‘We can start a whole new tradition,’ continued Tiger. ‘It might be the shortest run tradition in history,’ he added. ‘But still.’

She grinned at him. ‘Thanks, Tiger,’ she said.

He shook off her thanks as if it was nothing. ‘How about you find a restaurant and I’ll speak to Maggie and Leon,’ he said.

‘Okay,’ she said. ‘I’ve seen this place that looks really cool. I’ve always wanted to go. I’ll see if they’re going to be open on Christmas Day. I’ll go and search it now.’

‘Great,’ said Tiger. ‘That sounds like a plan then.’

Romany leaned across and surprised herself by planting a peck on his cheek. That was something she could never have imagined doing three months ago.

‘Thanks, Tiger,’ she said again, and he smiled back. His eyes were glistening, too.





47


Maggie looked at the sparkly Christmas tree earrings and wondered, yet again, whether she could get away with them. They weren’t really her style, or even to her taste, but there was a kind of frivolous silliness about them that appealed to her. Other people wore festive jewellery and seemed to survive without looking like they were trying too hard. Maybe she could wear them in an ironic way, so that if anyone commented on how unlikely they were on her, she could toss her head and give them a sympathetic smile, as if they had completely missed the point. What if she just wore one, a nod to Christmas but showing that she hadn’t totally bought into the commercial vibe?

Or could there be a possibility that she was overthinking the entire thing? She scooped the earrings up and dropped them back into the box. Maybe next year . . .

She had never eaten out on Christmas Day before, which was, of course, the point. It was touching that Tiger had been sensitive enough to realise that Romany would need something different this year. Touching, and quite surprising. Maggie had thought that out of Romany’s guardians, she was the one with a monopoly on thoughtfulness, but in that, as in so many other things, she had been wrong.

It was sweet of him to invite her and Leon, too. There had been no suggestion that they should invite Hope, Romany’s fourth and thus far absent other guardian. Maggie had wrangled with that. It felt wrong for them all to be going out together without even running it by her. She had managed to rationalise it by thinking that the fact that the three of them had been appointed ‘guardians’ was irrelevant to their decision to spend Christmas Day together. They were doing that because they were old friends, who were, quite rarely and possibly uniquely, all available on December 25 this year. Hope would no doubt have other things she would rather be doing, like spending the day with that boyfriend, if he was still on the scene. Maggie hadn’t seen her since the reading of Angie’s will and then the conversation hadn’t strayed into the state of her love life, for obvious reasons.