If You Stay (Beautifully Broken, #1)(73)

Each step that I take brings me closer to him.

And when I finally get there, his fingers entwine with mine.

I look up into his eyes, eager to become his.

I repeat my vows after the minister and end with, “I will love you all of the days of my life.”

And I know that I will.

Because true love never fails.

It never dies.

It just goes on and on and on.

Forever.




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Author’s Notes



I wrote this book for a couple of reasons.

First, someone I love was using drugs to cope with life. He wasn’t an addict, but like Pax, he was teetering on the edge. If he hadn’t chosen to get help and learn to deal with stress in healthy ways, he would have continued on a dark, self-destructive path that would have ended in a very tragic way. I will be forever grateful that he chose to get help, that he recognized the need and put in the work to fix it.

Second, there was a news story years ago that has haunted me ever since I heard it. It was about a young mother, a child and an intruder. They were in the same position as Pax and his mother found themselves in this book, but somehow, the real-life mother and son managed to get away. I’ve thought about that story off and on over the years and recently, when my mind was wandering in the absent way a writer’s does, I wondered what would have become of the boy if the intruder had killed his mom. I decided that he would have wanted to live in oblivion, where it was safe and warm. And Pax’s story was born.

This story is really about a man teetering on the edge. He could have fallen either way, into the dark or into the light. And he chose to land on his feet in the light, even though the light is harder and it takes more work. My message through this book is for anyone who is in that same place, balancing on that precarious ledge. The light is always worth it, even though it’s hard. Stay strong and live in the light.

The use of the verse, Love never fails, is something personal to me, as well. It is engraved on my wedding band, just as it is engraved on Pax’s and Mila’s.

My grandparents were married for sixty years. They were two of the wisest, gentlest, most amazing people I have ever been honored to know. And one of the things my grandma always told me was Love never fails, honey. It never does.

And you know what? She was right. True love never fails. It really does go on and on and on. The person might be gone, but the love remains.

Love is stronger than anything else. It can get you through things that nothing else can. So rely on it, lean on it. Embrace it. Count on it.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy or boast, it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way, it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.”

--1 Corinthians 13:4-8a



Lastly, if you enjoyed this book, please stay tuned for book two in The Broken Ones series, If You Leave. It will follow Madison Hill. As the older sister, she saw more of her parents’ abusive relationship and it gave her trust issues that she carries even still.

***

“Is everyone in the world broken?” And even to my own ears, my whisper itself sounds broken in the velvety night. Gabriel stares at me thoughtfully.

“I think so,” he finally answers. “In their own way.”

- Madison and Gabriel, If You Leave





COMING SOON





Acknowledgements


I always have so many people to thank, and not nearly enough space to do it. But I’ll try.

I’m not going to name the person who inspired Pax, because he wouldn’t want me to. But I am going to thank him. I want to thank him for being strong and for doing what is best for him and for recognizing it himself. I will love him forever.

M. Leighton, thank you for always being there for me, no matter the time or place. You are truly the best friend a girl could ever have and I am so very thankful for you. I love you.

Autumn from Autumn Review. I love you, I love you. Thank you for talking me down from ledges and speaking rationally to me when I am practically having panic attacks. Thank you for being such a good ear and such a good friend. Your input and advice is always spot-on. I’m lucky to have you.

Fisher Amelie. I love you. You have had one rough year, but you have still managed to come out on the other side as the same gentle spirit that you always were. I admire that about you. I am thankful that you are who you are and that you are in my life.

Sarah Hansen from Okay Creations. Thank you for the gorgeous cover. I love it. Love, love, love it! You’re amazing.

Luisa Hansen. Thank you for being an awesome editor and for polishing this thing until it shined. You’re amazing and I’m lucky to have found you. I love you, I love you. Get that marriage license ready.

Kelly Simmon from InkSlinger PR. You are awesomely amazing. I am blessed to have found you and blessed that you wanted to take me on. Best. Publicist. Ever.

Mollie Harper and Meg Ridgeway. Thank you both for such insight into this book, for all of the helpful input. You’re both fabulous.

My grandparents are no longer here, but I’d still like to thank them. They are responsible, in large part, for the person that I am today. They led by example-and what an example it was.