If You Must Know (Potomac Point #1)(96)

“What?”

Erin paced in the space between the bed and dresser while she formulated her plan. “You know he’d love a chance to throw everything in my face and prove his superiority.”

“Erin, this isn’t about your ego and his.”

“I know. I only mean that, unlike with Kevin, he’d never suspect me of anything other than wanting to fight with him, like usual.” She grinned, a gleam in her eye. “He’ll never see it coming.”

“Maybe, but it’s too much to ask.” I loved her for offering. Erin had the balls for the job, but did she have the patience? I wasn’t sure she’d come that far yet. “Plus you couldn’t go in half-cocked. You’d need to get screened and prepped by the FBI, follow protocol, and keep your temper in check. Do you even own an updated passport?”

“Yes. You know I like to be ready for anything.” Her hands waved about. “Look, I know you and Mom think I’m immature, but I can do this. You can trust me. I’ll get Lyle to confess.”

The way she’d always baited him used to make me nervous, but now the talent could come in handy. Still, I’d already disrupted her life too much to ask this, too. “What about Give Me Strength? Will they let you call off?”

“Let me worry about all that. This may be the most important thing I can ever do for our family. I know I haven’t given you many reasons to be proud of me, but give me this one chance. I can make this right . . . I need to do this.”

“You’re serious?”

“Yes. I love you and Mom, and Kev. We’ve only got each other now. And this will let me make up for everything . . .” She trailed off.

I was too preoccupied with my own thoughts—the misplaced pop of disappointment that my confident sister would be the one on the front line while I remained on the sidelines—to question what she’d meant by that. “Erin, you don’t have to make up for anything. I do for making you feel like I’m ashamed of you. That’s never been true. I’ve only ever worried because the way you live without a plan makes me nervous.”

She sank back onto the mattress and rubbed my thigh. “Don’t be nervous. I’m good. Better than good, and ready to do this. Call Kev and Stan. Tell them I’ll go.” She nodded toward my phone. “Come on. Do it.”

“Okay.” My heart raced. Our shot at Lyle was back on. My thirst for revenge didn’t feel good—it felt great. I picked the phone up and hit “Redial.” “Kev, Erin is willing to go in my place. Unlike with you, Lyle would welcome sparring with her. Will the FBI accept her as a substitute?”

“I’ll check. Agent Crowley may want to meet with her before he decides.”

I covered the phone. “Can you meet with Agent Crowley?”

“Absolutely.”

“Okay, go for it. Now we have to pray we catch a break with Lyle’s travel plans.” My heart pumped faster, so I took a breath. As exciting as this was, I had to keep calm for Willa.

“I’ll circle back with you once I speak with Crowley and Stan,” Kev promised.

After we hung up, I reached out to bear-hug my sister. “This is above and beyond anything I would’ve asked or expected, Erin.”

“It’s not a big deal.” She patted my back and pulled away. “Hey, are you crying?”

I dashed a stray tear away. “My hormones have been on a wild ride today. Thank you for being here for me. For letting me lean on you. I’ve never felt closer.”

Erin’s guilt-ridden expression upset me.

I grabbed her hand. “I’m not blaming you for our past. I played an equal role in our dysfunction. So did Mom. I shouldn’t have looked the other way when she took hurtful potshots at you over the years.”

She waved me off, pausing to chew on her lip before echoing my earlier statement. “Eyes forward, remember?”

“Deal, as long as I’m not required to get a tattoo or nose ring.”

Erin pointed a finger at me, teasing, “Look at you, making jokes. This is a turning point.”

Mom poked her head in the door. “Food’s on the table.” She twitched her head side to side like a bird, observing us closely. “What did I miss?”

“Erin’s going to Puerto Rico in my place, so everything might actually turn out okay.”

“Is that a good idea?” Mom’s skeptical expression threatened to undo the nascent connection between my sister and me. “Erin hates rules, but you can’t go rogue with the FBI.”

“Most ‘rules’ are BS, but I can follow ones that matter.” Erin crossed her arms.

“Mom, please stop treating her like she’s eight and jumping off roofs.”

“Hey, I could still do that,” Erin joked.

I stroked her back and speared Mom with a serious look. “I trust her. Truthfully, Lyle is more likely to believe she’ll make good on the threat of prosecution than he would’ve with me.”

“That’s true,” Mom agreed, making a face that didn’t much flatter me.

Unable to argue against my own logic, I vowed to Willa that I’d never, ever roll over again. Not for anyone.

“Now that that’s settled, let’s eat.” I pushed my huge body out of the bed. “I’m starving.”