If You Must Know (Potomac Point #1)(95)

Erin’s confidence—the source of much of my envy—today inspired hope.

Mom peeked back into the room. “I’m too tired to cook, so I’ll run to the diner to grab soup and salads.”

“I can do that, Mom.” Erin moved to stand.

“Keep your sister company. I’ll be back soon.” She disappeared.

“Any excuse to run away from me.” I sighed, discouraged by the distance between my mom and me. “My head hurts from this topic. Let’s talk about something fun. Tell me about your date.”

“Not a ‘date.’” Despite those words, Erin’s face brightened. A wisp of a smile—like she knew a juicy secret—tugged at her mouth. “We’re getting to know each other as friends. I’m trying not to push like I usually do. He’s sweet and wonderful and maybe too good to be true.”

She’d used those “too good to be true” words about Lyle years ago, though in a derogatory manner.

“It’s unlike you to be moony.”

She nodded. “Please don’t take this wrong, but I understand you better now. It wouldn’t be hard for Eli to take advantage of me while I’m in thrall. The fact that he still loves his wife so much should make me wary, but I can’t control my feelings. I love and hate this goofy grin in my heart.”

“It’s nice to see you swept away, but now my experience makes me wary for you.” Cynicism—yet another change Lyle had forced on me. “Learn from my mistakes and maybe pump the brakes.”

“Eli’s got his foot on those, so this engine can’t run off the tracks.” The dreamy look returned to her face, belying the truth. “I did make him laugh, which he really needed. And I got him to start writing a song today—granted, it was a silly one about Mo, but maybe it’ll help him break through whatever’s been holding him back. There was a moment there . . .” Her gaze turned hazy, as if she were picturing the scene again.

“If anyone can pull him out of a funk, it’s you. You’ve got a gift for making people smile.” People always laughed with Erin, another trait I’d envied for most of our lives.

“Maybe, but you make people happy in a different way.”

I’d never looked at it that way, but my sister had a point. Both ways mattered, and neither one was better than the other. They could coexist without competing, like my sister and me. “Maybe you should write Max a thank-you note for the accidental introduction.”

“Right? It’s crazy how well that theft turned out.” She laughed, but I frowned at the reminder of thievery. “I’m sorry, Amanda. I didn’t mean—”

“Don’t apologize for being happy. I want that for you.”

“I want that for you, too.” She then laid a hand on my belly. “And for Willa.”

“Maybe my silver lining is this . . . the way that you and I finally have the relationship we avoided for so long.” For a change, my intimate remark didn’t make either of us shy away.

“Definitely.” Erin smiled. “Let’s get your nose pierced to seal the bond.”

“Ha!” I laughed just as my phone rang. “Saved by the bell! Ooh, it’s Kevin.”

“Answer it.” Her expression turned serious.

Once again, an otherwise relaxed moment got cut short, but Kevin needed to know I couldn’t travel. “Hi, Kev.”

“Hey, I wanted to give you the heads-up. Agent Crowley already sent the Puerto Rican office copies of the evidence Stan collected so they can coordinate quickly. They’ll need to verify it, but I’m optimistic things will come together. You need to be ready to fly out on short notice.”

“I’m sorry, but now I can’t go. I ended up in the ER with a mild pregnancy scare this afternoon. Everything’s fine, but my doctor warned me not to travel, especially to the Caribbean, where there are higher rates of Zika, among other concerns.” I pictured his frustrated expression and felt sick all over again.

“Oh my God. Are you and the baby really okay?” His concern alleviated some of my guilt.

“Yes, thank you. I got home an hour ago.”

“I’ll let you rest and call Stan, but there’s got to be a solution. Maybe I could go in your stead . . .”

“Lyle won’t talk to you. He hates lawyers and would be suspicious from the start. The only reason he would’ve talked to me was to further manipulate me.” I twisted a handful of the sheets in one hand until my fingers turned white.

“I’m sorry. I know your worst fear was getting caught up in all the red tape . . .”

“Things look pretty grim for Mom and me now, but I have to put Willa’s safety first.” Today’s scare had put everything in perspective. Even if Mom and I end up broke and estranged, Willa was my priority.

“Absolutely, sis. I’ll talk to Stan and see if we can brainstorm any Hail Marys. You rest up.”

“Thanks.” I hit “End,” tossed the phone on the bed, and shrugged when I met Erin’s gaze, worn out from the long day of scares and disappointments.

“This effing blows.” Her brows were pulled so tight, and the way the light caught that nose ring, it looked like a tiny bolt of lightning struck. She jumped off the mattress, hands on her hips. “What if I go?”