If You Must Know (Potomac Point #1)(80)

Erin interrupted. “If you do that, Lyle has time to get away. Worse, if the authorities do catch up to him, he could squeal on Amanda for extortion.”

“Damn it! Damn all of it.” Mom waved her fists around before grabbing her car keys from the hook.

“Where are you going?” I asked.

“Somewhere to think.” She glared at us both, although Erin brushed off Mom’s outrage like she’d shoo a mosquito.

“Mom!” I called as she slammed the door to the garage in our faces. I whirled on Erin. “Should we stop her?”

“Nah.” She inspected the bananas before choosing one to peel, calm as ever. “I don’t want to give her the chance to wear down your resolve. You’ve made the right call. I can’t wait to see Lyle’s smug face when the cops raid his boat.”

“Mom’s not all wrong. This might not work out the way we hope. Kevin and Stan haven’t gotten back to me yet about if the FBI will take this case and do the OIA. If not, we end up with all the negative publicity and none of the upside. Mom will never forgive me.”

“I bet they’ll go for the sting. If you can get a confession, it makes their case a slam dunk.” Erin tossed the peel in the trash. “I know it’s hard, but it’s okay to stand up to Mom. Somewhere Dad is cheering.”

That perked me up, having rarely been the one to surprise Dad with an act of courage. “I hope you’re right.”

“I am.” She gave me a brief hug.

“Thanks for being supportive, and for not grousing about my moving in. I know it isn’t what you expected when you agreed to keep an eye on Mom.”

“You won’t hear me complain about a free maid.” She winked. “Seriously, it’s good for us to hunker down together until things with Lyle get settled.”

“Who would’ve thought we’d both be home again?”

The corners of her mouth drooped with her shoulders. “Fair warning, living here will make you miss Dad more. I ‘see’ him everywhere. On the other hand, Mom and I are getting along better.”

“Well, looks like I might need your help with her.”

“A role reversal!” She chuckled.

Wasn’t it just. “If only Dad were here, maybe I’d get to be his favorite for a day.”

Erin’s grin faded. “I know you think Dad loved me best, but that’s not true. We liked the same music and shared inside jokes, and he enjoyed my traits that made you and Mom uncomfortable, but he loved you and Kevin as much as me. Sometimes I think he went easy on me because the rest of you always cringed at my differences.”

The impact of her words hit me from all angles, knocking my knees out from under me. “Did you . . . did you think I didn’t like you?”

My head spun from the very idea because, for my whole life, I’d thought it the other way around.

“Don’t start feeling guilty. I know deep down you and Mom love me even though I embarrass you.” She flashed an impish smile, but if she believed what she was saying, it had to hurt.

“I’m sorry I made you feel that way. All I ever wanted was to be close. I tried so hard to get you to want to play with me, but you always ran off.”

“I ran from your dolls and games like ‘house.’” She crossed her arms. “Besides, if I’d brought you along to break all the rules, you’d have tattled.”

“Only if you were doing something unsafe.” Those words came out defensively—so much so that I had to laugh at myself. “Oh gosh. No wonder you ran.”

Erin smiled with that same twinkle in her eye that Dad had. For the first time in weeks, my chest felt warm and fuzzy.

I grabbed my sister into another hug and squeezed tight. “I feel like we’re finally coming to understand and count on each other. It means so much to me.”

“Same here.” She patted my back but eased away, averting her eyes. “Anyway, I’m heading out with Lexi for open-mic night at the Lamplight. Her boyfriend is singing, so she wants to stack the audience with fans.”

I would’ve declined an invitation to join her in favor of making amends with Mom, but on the heels of our breakthrough, it would’ve been nice to have been asked. Then again, my giant belly didn’t scream “bar buddy.” “Have fun.”

Erin affected a mock bow before exiting the kitchen.

Leaving me alone. Again.

I guessed Mom had gone to Dad’s grave. Even a year later, she still turned to him when she got upset. Habits of a nearly forty-year marriage must be hard to break. One benefit of getting out of mine early would be learning to turn inward for answers. It wouldn’t be an easy shift, but Willa needed me to be tougher by the time she arrived.

For now, I’d make one of my mom’s favorite meals. As I opened the refrigerator door, a loud whoop rang out from the bedroom, followed by a hearty “It’s like old times!”

In every way, my sister was coming through for me. Never in all these years had it occurred to me that my behavior had driven some of hers. She’d hidden her self-doubt so well I hadn’t thought anything I did or said ever mattered to her. Our little talk had been a good start at being more honest.

With no more secrets and unspoken grievances between us, maybe now my sister and I would finally become friends.