If You Must Know (Potomac Point #1)(57)

I blinked back quick tears and took my mug to the sink, dumping the majority of the sickeningly sweet coffee down the drain. My mother continued to savor hers. Six months of this quiet tension might well end up feeling like twelve. It’d be nice if we could have some fun together while I kept her safe. An idea struck. With as much enthusiasm as I could muster, I asked, “Why don’t you come take my class? It’s important to remain limber as you age—for injury prevention. Plus it’s meditative. Reduces stress . . .”

“I haven’t taken an exercise class in years. Are you trying to make a fool of me in front of a former student?” She frowned before ingesting another large bite of waffle.

As if I’d ever set out to embarrass anyone. It got tiring to count to three and brush off these slights. In the past I’d done so because I’d had my dad, so I’d given up on pleasing my mom. Now that he was gone and we had huge problems to deal with, I wouldn’t waste energy on petty shit. “There’s no judgment in yoga—you do what you can. But if you’re uncomfortable in front of others, we can do private sessions at night. It’ll be fun. You know, Dad sometimes took my classes.”

She set down her silverware, staring at me like all my hair had grown back. “He did not.”

“He did.” Even now I could picture him showing up in his Loyola gym shorts and T-shirt, determined to master crow pose despite his potbelly. “Then we’d go get ice cream afterward. Pistachio, at Dream Cream.”

Dream Cream had been one of his favorite haunts. He’d slipped into another world when he ate a cone—lick by lick—savoring each bite. “Delayed gratification,” he’d say.

“Why would he keep that from me?” she asked of no one in particular, scowling.

Who knew why people kept little secrets? I suspect Dad had kept to himself lots of trivial things he and I did. He’d worked in sales, which had enabled him to sneak in breaks during the day. Mom had never minded being alone in the late afternoons when she believed he was working. But if she’d known he’d left her there to come play with me, she might’ve curtailed his freedom by handing him a miles-long honey-do list.

“I’m sure he told you. You probably forgot. It’s not like it was important stuff.” A glance at the clock reminded me to get downstairs. Rather than play telephone by asking what Amanda had said last night after I’d left, I’d get those details straight from my sister later. “See you in an hour.”

“Erin”—Mom turned the cup in her hand—“thank you for breakfast, and for your concern. How about if I go pick up more of those mini mason jars and help you with another batch of lotion tonight?”

I had no words. Two days ago I suspected she’d helped me only to make sure everything got cleaned up properly. Now, out of the blue, she wanted to spend more time with me? Those waffles were miracle workers!

“That’d be awesome. And you’re welcome for breakfast.” A bit of the heaviness that had settled in my bones last night lifted as I descended the stairs.

Before anyone arrived, I lit a Japanese-style incense stick to infuse the room with the calming blend of ginger, lavender, and clove. The colossal box of summer clothes I’d meant to take upstairs remained in the middle of the floor, so I lugged it to the bottom of the stairwell. Next, I hit “Play” on “The Light” by Sol Rising and dimmed the lights. The spicy incense’s faint aroma quickly permeated the room, so I snuffed the stick out in water.

While I stacked foam blocks in one corner, a tap on the slider behind me made me glance over my shoulder.

“Eli?” I jumped, unprepared to see him. Lightweight gray Nike joggers hugged his slim hips. A navy short-sleeve shirt fitted snugly around his biceps. I rolled the door open, aware that my grin gave so much away. “This is a surprise.”

“Your invitation was hard to resist.” He stepped inside, a cautious smile playing on his lips. “Is it okay that I didn’t make a reservation?”

“Sure! Only three women are coming today, so it’ll be intimate.” The word lingered between us.

Eli cleared his throat and scanned the basement. “Cute house.”

“Oh, it’s not mine. I grew up here. Moved back in this week—temporarily—thus the moving boxes.” I gestured toward the box by the stairs. “My mom’s been under a lot of stress and acting a bit off, so I’m keeping an eye on her.” To avoid creating bad karma, total honesty was required. “Plus I’m a little low on cash and couldn’t pass up free rent.”

“Hopefully, things will improve for your mom and you.” He sucked his lower lip beneath his teeth, but his eyes remained fixed on mine.

My body temperature rose like mercury in a thermometer. I didn’t particularly welcome this feeling, and yet it was a nice break from all the tension in my life. “Thanks.”

Eli’s lips twitched when he glanced at my Nicolas Cage yoga pants. He seemed amused, in a good way.

A man’s attention didn’t normally faze me, but our awkward pause made me blurt, “Can I get you some water?”

“Sure.”

As soon as he answered, Jessica London came through the door. “Hey, Erin. I’m so excited you’re doing this.” She took in the surroundings and smiled at Eli. “I could never afford Give Me Strength, and this vibe’s much better.”