If You Must Know (Potomac Point #1)(25)

“Okay.” Laticia slid off the bench with the book in both hands and marched directly to the shelf, where she neatly slipped it into place.

I smiled. I’d been like her—a lover of books, a good listener, a neatnik. Those habits had mostly served me well, but Lyle’s recent about-face had me questioning everything. None of my ways had secured his affection or my future. Meanwhile selfish people like him, and reckless ones like Erin, had all the fun.

“Are you okay?” Darlene asked when she came over to reorganize the puzzles.

“What?” I blinked before standing and straightening my shirt.

“You’ve been a little absent today. Are you tired? I remember how hard it gets to sleep as you get bigger.” She laughed. “And once the baby comes, it’s harder for different reasons.”

“I’m sorry I’ve been out of it. A lot on my mind, I guess. I’ll pull my weight on Wednesday.” I couldn’t bear Darlene thinking less of me as a teaching partner. But lying had never come easy, so pretending my life wasn’t falling apart posed a tremendous challenge. The hives on my neck should have been a giveaway, but she hadn’t noticed.

“No worries at all. I’m only checking in to see if you need anything.” She looked at the door. “We’d better let the parents grab their kids.”

Before I answered, Darlene had crossed the carpeted area and reached the door. Even if I’d wanted to confide in her, I couldn’t stand it if my colleagues ridiculed me the way Kevin and Erin had.

As usual, the kids lined up, bouncing on toes or outright jumping up to catch their parents’ attention. I waved at my neighbor Barb, while Darlene released the children one at a time. If my marriage ended, perhaps Barb would share single-parenting advice. The reality of it hurt so much I pushed it aside. For now, I breathed a sigh of relief that my job had ended for the day. I’d done my best for my students, even if I hadn’t been at the top of my game.

“Want to grab a quick lunch and a little gossip?” Darlene asked as we did one final sweep of the room. “I guess you’ve already heard that Susan Miller’s new baby isn’t her husband’s. Now he’s threatening to sue for custody of Sadie. I mean, I do feel bad for him, but how can he not have known sooner?” She grimaced while tossing two broken crayons.

Sadie was an adorable four-year-old in another classroom here at the Tot Spot. It ripped me up to think of her as a pawn in her parents’ battle. Worse to know that if my marriage ended, I’d be the subject of such “friendly” gossip.

“That’s tragic for all of them. Sorry, I can’t join you for lunch, though. I’ve got errands and an appointment.” My dismissiveness should stanch further questions. I had no intention of discussing my upcoming appointment with the private investigator, Stan Whittaker. Lord only knew what he must think of me. But with Lyle’s disappearing act, the need to locate my husband had intensified. Still, I didn’t want Darlene’s radar going up, so I said, “Rain check?”

“Sure.” She smiled. “Have a good afternoon.”

I waved goodbye and then went straight to my car, closed my eyes, and let my head fall back while inhaling slowly. When my phone rang, I jerked before grabbing for my purse to dig it out. An unfamiliar number. “Hello?”

“Amanda, it’s me.”

“Lyle?” I choked on his name, but the surge of relief from the sound of his voice made everything else fall away. “Why haven’t you called sooner? I’ve been so upset. Everyone’s so upset.”

“I’m sorry. I’d hoped my letter would buy some time to sort through things before we spoke. I went to Abaco for a few days to sniff out redevelopment opportunities. Service there is spotty, then my phone dropped out of my shirt pocket into the sea when I was tying up to the dock.”

I couldn’t focus on his words with all the things I wanted to say competing for my attention. Mostly I considered the nights I’d spent crying while he’d apparently been cruising the Bahamas. Fury climbed up my throat. “When did you become a man who’d treat a whore to a vacation on my mother’s dime while your daughter and I were heartsick at home?”

He heaved the kind of sigh one breathed in the face of a petulant child. “This is exactly why I didn’t want to talk yet. If we can’t be civil, there’s no point.”

“No point?” I stared at the arborvitae that edged the parking lot, processing a remark that reduced the past few years of my life to nothingness.

“You know what I mean. Amanda, it kills me to have hurt you like this, but, please, let’s not say things we can’t take back.” The soothing tone that usually worked on me sounded patronizing.

“I think I’m entitled to some anger, Lyle. You’ve made me question everything I believed in. Meanwhile, my mother is a nervous wreck about her money. I’ve been agonizing all weekend while you’ve been dallying in the Caribbean. To top it off, Kevin and Erin are breathing down my back, ready to call the cops.”

“Of course they are. Kevin’s paranoid, and Erin never liked me no matter how much I did for you and your parents over the years.”

Kevin was shrewd, not paranoid, although Lyle was right about Erin. When he’d mowed the lawn for Dad that summer after his knee replacement, Erin had practically choked on her thank-you. And anytime Lyle gave me a piece of jewelry or pretty new outfit, she’d made it seem like it had more to do with his ego than with his love for me. Then again, unlike my sister, I’d totally missed Lyle’s potential to do harm.