If This Gets Out(29)
I could kill Angel right now.
I try to catch Zach’s eye to silently … apologize? Laugh about Angel’s brashness? I don’t even know. It doesn’t matter, anyway, because he acts like he doesn’t notice.
Erin orders on our behalf instead of me, much to Angel’s disappointment, then takes a photo for social media—the real reason we’re here, whether Erin admits it or not. While she sends it to David so he and the rest of the publicity team can upload it with just the right caption, Angel turns to his phone and raises his eyebrows.
“Apparently, we all hate each other,” he announces, waving around his phone like it’s irrefutable proof.
“Could’ve fooled me,” Pauline says, clearly eavesdropping from her nearby post. Erin beams at her.
“Now what?” I ask. Zach’s eyes flicker toward me, but he doesn’t say anything. He looks miserable. As much as his words hurt, and I want him to regret them, I still get the urge to grasp his hand under the table and assure him it’s fine, and this will blow over in a day or two.
“Apparently the ‘sexiest men’ article tore us apart from the inside.” Angel passes the phone to me, and I scroll through the story, published three hours ago in a popular celebrity gossip blog.
… A source close to the band confirms. “The Months by Years tour has placed a strain on the boys’ relationships. The mood has definitely gotten colder, especially since the Opulent Condition’s Sexiest Men list was released. Some of the boys have started to resent the attention given to certain members.” While our source declined to confirm which band members are feuding, an argument during a recent livestream might shed some light. On Thursday afternoon, in a private livestream session for select fans, Zach Knight took pointed digs at fellow band member, Ruben Montez. Following a comment by Angel Phan on Ruben’s placement on Opulent Condition’s list being well-deserved, Knight responded, “I can’t really see it.” Fans were quick to notice tension between the two. Another source, who declined to be named, doesn’t seem surprised. “There’s always been issues between Zach and Ruben,” they said. “In front of the cameras they’re on their best behavior, but behind the scenes it’s a clash of personalities. Constant fighting, vicious words—it’s even gotten physical a few times. They’ve also been assigned different dressing rooms so they can be separated and the rest of the staff can catch a break.” Trouble in paradise? Who would’ve thought this group of “close friends” secretly disliked each other so much? Their fans must be devastated by this news.
I roll my eyes and pass the phone to Jon. Zach reads over his shoulder.
“‘Constant fighting,’” I say. “Who might this ‘source’ be, exactly?”
“Fakeperson McDoesn’t Exist,” Angel supplies.
“It’s incredible how much stock people think we put in the opinions of Opulent Condition readers,” Jon says. “Like we’re all hanging around with bated breath waiting for their validation.”
“Easy for you to say, Number Twenty-Two,” Angel shoots back.
“It’s just an article,” Erin says. “It’s better to avoid that stuff. It’s just gonna get you down. You know the media.”
“True,” Zach says. “They’ll make something out of nothing if they can.”
Nothing, huh? So attacking my appearance publicly was just no big deal? Whatever, move on? I flare up with a sudden anger, all thoughts of comforting him vanishing.
“They’re really taking the ‘I can’t see it’ thing and running with it,” Jon says, ignoring her. “Must be a slow news week.”
“Yeah,” I say, pouring myself a glass of water. “It’s a total shock that Zach wasn’t able to make a shitty comment about me on a public platform without repercussions.”
Zach reels back. I can’t tell if he’s guilty or offended. Like he has a right to be offended. “I already said I was sorry,” he says.
“Did you?” I snap. “I must have missed it.”
“Boys, boys,” Angel says, laying his palms on the table. “You’re both pretty.”
That just pisses me off more. “It’s not about that. It’s about being respectful.”
“I’m sure Zach’s sorry he didn’t show your sexiness the level of respect it so deserves.” Angel laughs.
It’s impossible. There’s no point. Without the full context, I’m only gonna look like I’m overreacting to a bruised ego. And it’s not like I can explain that those words would’ve been nothing if they’d come out of anyone else’s lips, but from Zach’s, they were a slap in the face. A reminder to not read into the other night, because he could never find me attractive.
He’s straight. He was just drunk.
My glare must be harder than usual, because Angel’s laughter actually fades. “Come on, Ruby,” he says. “You know Zach puts his foot in it sometimes. It’s why we love him. He didn’t mean it to come out like that, did you, Zachy?”
Zach shakes his head vigorously. “Not really.”
Not really.
Well, excuse me if I’m not instantly appeased by this convincing display of remorse.
What in the fuck is his problem? What right does he have to be angry at me? If anyone should be pissed off right now, shouldn’t it be me? I’m the one who got my heart broken. I’m the one who got humiliated by him in public. I’m the one who’s been iced out for days now.